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Having a hard time getting my 6year old to listen

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:58 PM
  • 10 Replies

 My son coay is a very sweet boy but very strong willed and for some reason he doesn't think he as to listen to his teacher if they are working o n the not so fun stuff in kindergarten he says he is bored and then he tends to act out. I have told him he has to listen and follow the teachers instruction because school is not fun all the time and I am lost on how to get him to listen and learn that he has to do the learning part to not just fun. If anyone has advice for me it would be greatly appreciated

Coltbaby45

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Narniaprincess
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:05 PM


Hi! I also have a high-spirited 6-year-old boy, Neil.

We do a few things: We talk about "listening with your listening ears" and practice listening at home. If Neil is spending too long on video games or computer, for example, we take a time out from it and tell him nothing with technology for the next few hours, even television. This has helped us a lot.

The other thing we do is say, "Neil. Can you hear me?" We repeat it until he responds. What his teacher told us is that she is amazed that when he seems not to be listening, he actually is "multi-tasking." She allows him to do whatever it is he's doing and then asks a question of him in the middle -- just out of the blue -- to see if he is retaining it. To her surprise at the beginning of the school year, not only was he answering every question correctly, but he usually had the answer when the rest of the class did NOT. 

I would suggest you might want to call the teacher, have a sit down and say you need hands-on strategies for home. I tell Neil's teachers, "We are your partner and our interest is not only equipping you to do your job with Neil and the other kids, but also equipping Neil."

The teachers are very grateful for that approach, and then they share things with us freely. When they know that you aren't antagonistic and that you're a partner with them, they are great about giving you tips and suggestions. 

We have had a few weeks where Neil's behavior has been so erratic that at one point they were considering in-school suspension. We explained to him that he might go to "school jail." Then we told him what it was. His eyes got HUGE. Immediately after, he cleaned up his act. Every now and then, when we mention "school jail," he does a 180.

Let me know how it goes for you! I'm happy to be a "friend" here on Cafe Mom if you want to send me an invite. I am under "Narniaprincess," but my name is Heidi Rafferty. We live in a small town in central Kentucky. :-)


 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:35 PM

I usually institute some kind of punishment at home for at school.  My boys teachers know that they can email during the day if they have any problems and they know that my boys will have a punishment at home.  I will normally take away a privlege for that evening for not listening or not paying attention in class.

Mom of two boys ages 9 (third grade) and 6 (kindergarten)


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dmk1023
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 4:45 PM

My son also has a hard time with listening both at school and at home.  He is also mouthy already and thinks that he knows everything.  All we do is just keep trying to implore  listening skills and good behavior.

It Is What It is!

tichelle
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 5:13 PM

Have you checked to see if your son is bored because he knows what they are teaching. That is sometimes the problem. I homeschool and I see my 7 year old get frustrated because we go over stuff that he already has learned in other ways. He has an older sister and so he has learned some stuff by just having her around doing the work. But you also have to remember that boys are not always good sit down and listen to you people. Ask his dad what he was like as a kid. Know what my dad and my husband were like in learning has helped me with my son.

bigmomof3
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:46 PM

I have a very strong willed son in kindergarten... the school staff are at their wits end and have suggested i take him to a doctor for evaluation 

coltbaby45
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 3:25 AM

Thank you everyone for your advice there are some good tips I can't wait to try. School is starting back up after two weeks off lets see how he brings in the new year. I hoping he just needed a little break and he will be back on track thanks again

rkoloms
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 7:58 AM

Some kids, especially at this age, respond better to positive reinforcement than punishments. Go to a fast food store, and pick up some kids-meal toys. Make a reward chart; when you son meets his weekly goals, then he gets a toy; when he starting to get on track, you can go for longer term goals, like four weeks = a trip to a museum, zoo, etc.

Robin in Chicago

amber6
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 7:18 PM

i agree with positive reinforcement.  my son is 5 1/2 yrs old and has a strong will about what he wants to do and how he wants to do it.  he does not respond with yelling or taking things away at all!!! when we would threaten to take something off him for bad behavior, he would get it himself to give to us.  he only responds when given choices and talking to him like you would another adult. 

CrazedMomof2
by on Jan. 6, 2010 at 9:44 PM

My son is strong willed but not at school. Only at home. Positive reinforcement seems to work the best for him!



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kmrtigger
by Kandice on Jan. 6, 2010 at 10:12 PM


Quoting rkoloms:

Some kids, especially at this age, respond better to positive reinforcement than punishments. Go to a fast food store, and pick up some kids-meal toys. Make a reward chart; when you son meets his weekly goals, then he gets a toy; when he starting to get on track, you can go for longer term goals, like four weeks = a trip to a museum, zoo, etc.

I think this is a wonderful suggestion.

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