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Does your kids school have parent cliques or volunteer nazi's?

Posted by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:23 PM
  • 113 Replies

Just wondering what the parents are like at your child's elementry school?

My experiance at our public school was their was major mommy cliques. These mom's were very stuck up, gossipped, carpooled, their kids acted just like them with exclusive playdates and such. It reminded me totally of highschool and made me sick. If you weren't apart of the in mommy clique it would definately effect your child's poplularity and such. From being invited to birthday parties to who was put on what extra curricular sports team out of school.

I also witnessed these same mom's were volunteer nazi's. Volunteering is cool I try and do my part but these mom's were like crazy control freaks over it. They were at the school more than they were at home. I'm not sure they even saw their husbands some days. They were very competative about it and would rack up thousands of hours in volunteer time and then glow every spring at the volunteer appreciation breakfast at the end of the year.

I ended up switching my daughter's school in the middle of the year to a private school and I am almost paranoid to get caught up in the middle of it again so I really distance myself from my daughter's new school. I don't want to get all chummy friendly with the mom's I hate cliques.

Anyone else experiance this?

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:23 PM
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by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:28 PM

Yes to both questions. Sadly though last yr I was a volunteer nazi. lol I literally put in well over 300 volunteer hour last school year. I have since had a baby which makes it difficult for me to volunteer but my main reason for not vol. is they are not very good to their volunteers & for the most part don't treat them properly. 

Miranda, proud Homebirthing, Co-sleeping,

Breastfeeding, Anti CIO, Anti Circ,No Vax,
Cloth diapering mom to
Rhiannon,Arielle & Harrison.

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:36 PM

I don't find that at my son's school. I find that the PTA moms are rude though. Except for the president who I am friends with. The rest of them are just rude. In their minds, if you're not a member of the PTA you are nothing. It doesn't really bother me though. I work for the school. Im paid to deal with their kids. lol And some of them are not the little angels they think they are.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:38 PM

I know what you are talking about.  I work once a week in my dd class. ( Got sucked into that one)   One day I went to go make copies for her teacher and there was like 6 moms standing around talking in the workroom.  I only knew one and she was the only one to say hi to me.  They are always there.   I text my hubby and told him I hope my life does not revolve  around being at our kid's school like these ladies.  They are at the school all the time.  I just figured they need something to do with their time but dang can't you get together out of  school?  I will say our children are not excluded from anything.  

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 2:49 PM

I don't think the parents at our school are that bad.  They are all good friends but that's because they've had kids going to this school for years and years and it's a small school so they all know each other (we've only been at the school for 2 1/2 years).  Plus it's a Catholic school so we are required to volunteer at least 20 hours.  If we don't we pay $10 per hour at the end of the year.

There are some parents that have their fingers in EVERYTHING, especially some of the moms.  We don't have a PTO/PTA but we have a "Mom's Club" that they encourage every mother to join for $10 a year.  Then they have meetings twice a month and organize activities for the kids, etc.  I actually think it's kind of sexist.  There are no volunteer groups for the dads and they are not allowed at the Mom's Club meetings at all.  The few dads that do volunteer are usually involved in the sports program.  My oldest daughter is friends with these twins in her class.  Their dad is the head of the sports boosters groups and is the coach of several of the teams (we have soccer, basketball and volleyball---everything is co-ed except volleyball) even though none of his kids are on the teams (that I know of).  He's a nice guy, though.  I think he got caught up when his girls were little and there was no one else that wanted to do it and he seems to really enjoy it.

There are a couple moms, though, that get on my nerves with their volunteering.  They put on this air like they are better then everyone because they spend more time working on projects at school then at home.  Which I guess is fine since I don't volunteer.  They are getting it done, I susppose.  I just don't like their attitudes.

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 4:04 PM

I am on the Parent Teacher Organization at my daughter's school I do the publicity coordination. I do the PTO message Board with my daughter because she likes doing that with me and is proud everytime she walks by it in school that we did it together. I do find that there are clicks. I often wind up talking to new parents just going to a meeting not necessarily the other Executive board members because I know how to say no and some of them are volunteer crazy and I like to enjoy the events with my daughter not be working during them so my job is to just click some pictures for our newsletter and website for the technology teacher. It's something I can do while we are there and doesn't take away time from her and I. I know people do not like me I've been looked up and down alot and at 31 and looking fine they pretty much hate ...and I really don't care I have an awesome husband who supports us fully since I was laid off as a graphic designer and we are together all the time in the bedroom..hehe I found alot of these people just don't want to be home either their relationships with their spouses are flawed or they are just catty and mean. So I walk in there with a smile on my face and looking fine and I know I'm being talked about but I don't care if your talking about me that means your thinking about me, most people do that when they are jealous and want to try to get rid of ya but I'm not easily derailed I'm like bring it but I have a volitale personality so I can see why you wanted to get away from it if you are more laid back. I think you made a good decision if you see it effecting your child negatively then absolutely steer clear of it. I'm not sure how long I will continue this position as my daughter is only in 1st grade and I joined last year in Kindergaten but hopefully some of these people will be gone by

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 4:08 PM
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My son's school is exactly the same with the "Mom Cliques" and I hate it.  I was on the yearbook committee the other year and I worked with a couple of the girls doing a few little things and went for a meeting where I was told by one of the other moms who was not a chair or anything that my help was not needed.  So I got pissed and walked out but not before I told the PTO VP what was going on.  She ended up calling me later and apologizing.  Needless to say, I don't volunteer for much these days.  I am a member of the PTO and I don't attend the meetings because I have been ignored by better people than them.  I was never a popular person in high school and I don't mind not being popular now, just amazed that the same people that are in the Mom Cliques were exactly the same in high school.  Just proves that some things never change.  

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 4:09 PM

 Oh my gosh yes. I live in the 2 richest county in my state. And around here it's either you have money or you don't in their opinion. Alot of the people around here have inhereted money. There are the moms who's children only wear exclusive botique clothing. There are about 4 or 5 moms that all volunteer at the school 24-7 and work out together. They just look at you with a stuck up look if you aren't in their "click". Its annoying. I never had to deal with situations like this at my school growing up but when I had my child I moved and now with her in school here its BAD!

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 5:20 PM

Yes there are mommy cliques at my son's school. When my son was in kindergarten I joined the PTA and also volunteered to help set up the '50s dance (dancing, games, etc for families). When the next newsletter came out the PTA president and written a thank you to all those who helped with it and listed their names. My name was not listed at all and that was the last time I volunteered to do anything. I am only involved in stuff that pertains to my son directly, thats it.  

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by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 5:58 PM

Yes, and it's the exact reason that I don't volunteer more up at the school.  I go on field trips and donate for the class parties and such...but do not volunteer to actually help because some of the mothers are so rude.

by on Jan. 9, 2010 at 6:46 PM

I do notice that there are some cliques in my son's school as far as parent/PTA groups go.  I don't let it bother me though.  I have a friend or two from certain groups and I get along with them great,  but they might be friends with someone who is particularly snotty,  but whatever.  I have a coffee group I started this year with some close friends and a couple of women I was just getting to know.  I love it because we meet up sans kids on Friday mornings at our favorit coffee house and chat and catch up.  Yes,  the snotty women have come up now and again in coversation,  and we have a giggle sometimes over who seems to be so bent on volunteering the most hours and being at the school ALL day,  every day of the week.  I do offer to volunteer for things,  but I am not there all the time.

Just a suggestion..  maybe start a coffee group?  Email or call a few moms (5 or 6 is a good #) that seem cool and laid back and just set a day to meet up for an hour or so.  It is a good way to make some good relationships as well as having something ot look forward to for yourself each week,  or twice a month...

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