Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Private School vs. Public School

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:18 AM
  • 25 Replies

So, growing up I always went to a public school. They weren't bad, but when I graduated high school, the schools began to get worse and worse. Now, all I hear are horrow stories about kids bringing wepons & drugs to school, about boys and girls bullying each other, not just at the school, but on facebook and my space as well. So, when my daughter turned 4 I put her pre-school at a private school and she's been there through kindegarten and now first grade. I have thought about sending her to public school next year, but I am terrified. I don't know the schools or the teachers. Where she is at now, I know everything about the school. I know that she is getting a solid foundation in the church and I am afraid she will lose that when/if she goes to public school. I am terrified how she may react to not having mommy make her lunch in the morning. I have been making her lunch everyday for the last 3 years and sending it to school with her. I don't think I can do that at a public school. I am afraid to put her on the bus. She has never been a car with anyone other than myself, my parents and my fiance. I only have about 6-7 more months to decide. Any suggestions from public school moms or private school moms who transferred their child(ren) frm a private school to a public school?

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:18 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:51 AM

I live in a small town and the schools here are really good. I would look into the school that your daughter would be going to find out how the kids did with all there state testing and as far religion if that's what you want her to have have then the public schools will not teach her that you would need to keep her in private school. But as far as lunch my daughter takes her lunch to school and as far as riding the bus i totally understand i was scared to death about sending her on the bus because she on there for almost an hour.( we live in the country) and she loves it. I take her in the morning and she rides the bus home on my days off. The days i work her sitter picks her up from school. So just breath and go through all your options and then make a sound decision, because not all public schools are the same. We use to live in Oklahoma city and the schools there are horrible and so we moved the kids to a small town 2 yrs ago.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:49 AM

There are bully's everywhere, even in the private schools.  If your daughter is going to go to a good school, then that's all that matters.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:51 AM

You forgot Charter schools. That is absolutely where my vote would go. Public school failed my son in a big bad way. 

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:54 AM

We will be doing this in a few years (when DS starts 6th grade), so I'm feeling many of the same concerns.  More so, in some areas because I never went to a public school, so I don't even understand how classroom settings work.  I think kids adjust better than we do in some of these situations.  I hope you can figure out what you want to do,

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:14 AM

There are bullies, drugs, weapons, and bad people in every type of school.  At one of our prominent private schools, a 13-year-old boy committed suicide a few months ago because he was bullied relentlessly over rumors that he might have been gay.  This was a Christian school too which supposedly had an anti-bullying policy. 

I'm a firm believer that if there are good public schools around, then if you stay involved in your daughter's school life, she will do great and excel. 

I'm a single mom and can't afford private school, and the public schools in my town are failing horribly.  So, we are moving to a town about 10 miles north of here this spring - a town that has MUCH better public schools. 

I believe that parental interaction is key, regardless of whether a parent chooses public or private school.  It has been my experience, though, that the bad apples are everywhere and private school really is no better. 




by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:21 AM

 All of your concerns are good ones. but honestly I think it is all what YOU as a parent instill in your child. If you want them to have a good foundation in church you must do that. Don't allow the bullying and what no to take place be an active roll in your childs schooling and you will know what is going on! As for preparing her lunch, why do you think you can't still do that? My dd takes her lunch to school. You don't have to let her eat the school food. Its a choice. Now is the food she gets in her lunch box going to be warm? No they don't provide a microwave. Most schools have busses. Just because they provide busses doesn't mean you have to use them. My dd is in 1st grade and has NEVER rode a bus. Its a choice I have made to take her to school and pick her up. Just because she is in public school doesn't mean you have to change everything!

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:58 PM

All this stuff depends on the schools individually.  Private schools are not a gurantee against bullying, weapons and the life.

I spent 13 years at Catholic schools and I was bullyied and teased daily to the point of coming home from school and crying myself to sleep every night and begging my mom to not make me go back.  I had no friends in 7th and 8th grade and half the girls in the class were so cruel to me I got severely depressed and wanted to die (yep, started contemplating suicide at 12 because of the constant teasing in school).  I felt utterly worthless thanks to those girls.

In high school I saw fist fights break out in the an all girl school.  There was swearing in the halls, kids brought knives to school.  Our senior prom was almost canceled because some girls were caught drinking and smoking in the bathroom during a dance earlier in the year.  I had several friends get pregnant in high school, most of my friends were out drinking and doing drugs on the weekends and sleeping around.  I had this one girl that hated me for some reason and she tried to start a fight with me in the hall because I bumped into her.  Never mind I was on crutches with a broken ankle and she stopped in front of me suddenly.  There was nothing I could do to avoid banging into her.  She then knocked my crutches out from under me and threatened to beat me with them.  She also shoved me.  If it hadn't been for my friends standing behind me I would have fallen.  It took her cousin and a friend to haul her away while she screamed obsenities at me.  That was basically my life in Catholic school.

My brother's high school was even worse.  It was an all boy school and they had daily brawls in the field behind the school.  They had a gang shooting that disabled a classmate of his.  Actually they had a lot of gang activity at his school while he was there.

the best years were probably K-3.  After that things got bad for me.  My circle of friends shrunk and was treated horribly for years with junior high being the worst.  Would things have been any better in public school?  Probably not but they weren't all that great in a private school either.

My oldest went to a public school for kindergarten and 1st grade in a small town outside of Pittsburgh, PA.  It was an amazing experience.  They had 13 kids per classroom in every grade (K-6).  The kids were all very nice and helpful.  She learned a lot and made friends in lots of different grades (thanks to her 20 minutes bus ride home).  The school actually went from K-12 with K-6 in one building and 7-12 in another joined with a hallway.  They shared the auditorium and big gym and sometimes the cafeteria.  I didn't see any bullying or crazy stuff like when I was in school.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:41 PM

Private.....I think most public schools are just fine, I just do not like not being able to choose which school my son can attend, in our district there are no transfers unless a campus is deemed "failing" at the state tests.

My son misses having chapel and praying at school.  

in lovebaseballbaby boy

Steve & Sarah '01      Kyle '04            Zach '09

by Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 3:29 PM

I have 3 kids in private school, 1 in public school and 1 in I guess you could call preschool at a Temple private school. My 2 of my daughters are in private middle school and honestly attending public school all my life it is exactly the same. My 8th grader has a facebook,goes to parties and is exposed to things I don't  want her to be. But that hasn't changed her, she has never gotten drunk as far as I'm aware (she would be way too guilty), she doesn't post nasty pictures on facebook and she isn't into drugs. There are bullies there as well. The only thing different than her school and public school is more time off and Hebrew class everyday. My son is not yet in middle school but he goes to public school and he is doing much better there than he was at private school. So basically I don't think it matter your kids will be exposed to these things no matter what, but she is still a little girl and you are thinking very far in advance(which is good parenting on your part!)


by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:29 PM

I had my son in public school for the last 4 years. We could send a home-packed lunch to school and I never put my son on the bus, I always drove him to and from school. I found that the past 4 years in public school it was hard on my son spiritually. In public school they teach evolution and my son started to believe the old earth theory and had a hard time believing in  24 hour Creation. Also I found even in special ed, which is where my son was at public school, he was "falling behind" and when I pushed for the teacher to have him to higher level work, it was a fight. If your daughter is doing good at the school where she is now by all means, leave her there.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)