Question of the Week, Week 9!!! A Valentines Day Discussion
A quick note: there will not be a QOTW next Sunday; I will be out of town.
While I think that elementary school is WAY too young for dating, we can't stop kids from coupling-up on the playground and in the lunchroom.
Do you encourage, discourage, or ignore the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff?
How have your kids, and you, handled: puppy love / first crushes, first heartbreak?
Robin in Chicago
i remember when i was in elementary having a "boyfriend" i dont see anything wrong with it in the lower grades. their idea of dating is sitting next to eachother at lunch for the most part. i do say that you should keep the lines of communication open with your kids and dont pass the these things off as silly and hopefully that line will stay open for when they are older and really start dating...
"Truly God's greatest gifts to me..."
I don't see a problem with it. My son had his first little crush last year in kinder and it was on his aide. This year he had another crush on his new aide. And a 1st grade girl has a crush on him. He doesn't really give her much thought. But she always wants to hold his hand. I work at the school and always see her wanting to play with him. I think its cute. I have no problem it. At that age their idea of boyfriend/girlfriend is holding hands and playing together. We do encourage that at the school. Especially if we see a loner student. We pair them up with another student to play with.
My youngest is my girl crazy one. He is only 6yrs old. He tends to be more likely to have a female friend than any boys as a friend. Maybe b/c his class is more girls than boys since pre K. Any how he says this one girl Zoie is his girlfriend. And one day when he is 100 he is gonna marry her so he can kiss her. But I caught a ton of bashing for posting a picture of them holding hands in line at school and for them dancing at their school prom.
Personally I think it is cute to see them have a crush. In a few years he will be saying how yuck girls are and that will be cute. I honestly don't believe kids younger than 10 truly understand the meaning of being boyfriend and girlfriend. BUT my kids have been told and taught that kissing, holding hands and hugging is a NO NO! Now as for the hand holding picture I posted in the past, ALL the kids had to pick a partner and hold hands while walking down the hall each day.
I also feel that Elem. school is TOO YOUNG as well. But you can't stop a child from having a crush.
In elementary school it is to young for that sort of thing. Right now I really don't mention it to my son. But as he gets older I will probably discourage it till he is mature enough for it.
I basically ignore it. It seems like they change who they are in love with almost as much as I change my underwear, so I think that it really isn't something to worry about. Besides they are much too young to be going places by themselves, so there isn't any actual dating involved, it's just sitting beside each other at lunch and innocent things like that.
I am very lucky that neither of my boys have gotten upset when the girl they "love" has moved on to another boy. They just seem to move on as well, this is pretty much a daily occurance in our house. I just think that the more of a deal we as parents make out of it, the more of a big deal it is going to be for them, and then that will start to create more problems.
Mom of two boys ages 9 (third grade) and 6 (kindergarten)
I think when they are little...up to about 5th or 6th grade, the little notes that get passed "Do you like me? Check yes or no."," Will you be my girlfriend, check yes or no" are innocent enough.
We tell them it's alright to have a little boy/girlfriend, but all it means is they like each other. There is no telephoning, playing, emailing, etc after school.
If you keep it innocent and don't over-react, I think they do fine. They know that they will not date until they are much, much older!
These are the same kids who stalk the woods pretending to be in a Star Wars movie, dream about Pokemon and would rather play on the computer than talk on the phone. They are kids with crushes and are just discovering that boys/girls are cute.
We haven't had any real puppy love, big crushes or heartbreaks. We just have the "likes"!
I encourage my daughter to ignore coupling type stuff and I'll do the same with my son when he's old enough. I don't care if every other kid in her class or grade is coupled off. Education is far more important than those kinds of relationships...especially in elementary school!
Both my elementary kids think the opposite sex has cooties still and I hope it stays that way for a while!!! I think it's just innocence and I kinda tend to ignore it at this age.
Mom of four
I need advice, please,not bashing.
- rkoloms
on Feb. 7, 2010 at 7:31 AM