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Leaving the Country

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 12:16 PM
  • 10 Replies

I am a mother of 4 children, ages 4, 5 and 2 (twins are 2).  All boys.  I am leaving the country this week to go on an educational tour of Israel.  I am so excited about the trip but I am so anxious about leaving the kids behind and being gone so long.  I will be gone 11 days and for a portion of that time the two youngest children will be with their grandmother in another state so the kids will be separated.  Has anybody ever experienced being away for so long (without the possibility of cutting it short) and how did you cope?  Any ideas I can use to keep my children's time away from us as stress free as possible?



Mommy to Cameron 5, Xander 4, and Matthew and Chandler 2.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 12:16 PM
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by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:42 PM

The most I have been away is a weekend. I would say send the stuff they can't live without like lovies/blankies and such. Maybe have them bring something that reminds them of you. The most you can do is make so they are comfortable and have the things that they love the most with them.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:44 PM

Oh as a fun idea for the kids maybe give the 5 and 4 year old a disposable camera and have them take pictures of their time away from you. Or have them draw a picture everyday so they can tell you what they have done. This way they are busy, but will have a little surprise for you when you get home.

by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 3:06 PM

DH and I went to Curacao for 10 days when our older 2 were 6 &4 and I was pg with the youngest. We just kept telling them that we loved them but needed some big kid time alone. It was not easy leaving them. They spent their time alternating 3 days to grandmas and 3 days at Savta's (MIL, Hebrew for grandma.) I think we called a couple of times.They had camp to keep them busy as well as their grandparents.

My guess is that once you get going, it will be easier for you. Tours tend to keep people really busy. And you can always call from the hotel or your cell - the hotel may be cheaper. You can also rent a local cell in the airport if you feel it would be necessary, and it might end up being cheaper than international roaming.

You are more than welcome to pm me

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:21 PM

Be sure to send favorite things, also try sending with the childrens luggage a note to be open ed each day with a quick "I love you", "see you soon".  Also, focus more on the adventure they get to have rather than your trip & the separation.  If you worry & stress out in front of them it WILL make it harder for them.   ENJOY your trip, it may be a LONG time before you get to have a time like this again.  As a mom you give, give, give because you love your family.  But, it is sooo important to have some time to re-fuel yourself, it helps in the long run & it helps your children to be healthier in the long run too. 

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:59 PM

 I am sorry I can not help you

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 5:05 PM

I take a yearly trip to a convention in Atlanta, Georgia (I live in Kentucky.) The problem is that it lends to a crow of 50, 000 to 100,000 people, and bringing the kid there just doesn't settle well with me given that big of a crowd.  So my oldest always stayed those four days with my parents.  However, this year I will be leaving my then one year old as well.  My mother is on a walker now from Guillian Barre, so she can't be able to watch Isis (my now four month old,) when that trip comes at the end of the year; she won't be able to hold her and move with her easily.  But my in-laws can. However, Kayari can't stay that far away from school, because my in-laws live in a neighboring town that is about twenty minutes out of their way going back and forth to work, and Kayari has school during that week. Plus it is only two miles away from my mother's house, and she is old enough to be able to stay with my mother and be taken care of there, where right now, Isis isn't.  So more than likely for two out of the four days, they will be seperated too.

I am not looking forward to leaving them or to them being seperated considering how much my oldest loves her sister. She worships and adores that child.  But at the same time, it'll be good for them both.  It gives them time to themselves and to be able to relax. 

So try not to worry.  Home is just a phone call or email away. ;)

by Barbara on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:04 PM

I did two trips without my son that were 10 or 11 days.  I went to Europe with my mom both times.  My son was with his dad (my husband), and so I knew he was well taken care of.  I would call them every day, and they were doing fine.  But by the end of the 9th day, I was ready to go home and be with my family again.

by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 7:11 AM

Trust me when I say, you are much more stressed about the separation than they are. You will all have a great adventure. Be sure to talk about this with your kids using positive language, so they do not pick up on your anxiety.

Israel is a magical country; you will want to go back with your kids. Where will you be going?

Robin in Chicago

by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 7:42 AM

Thanks guys,  I do appreciate the advice and encouragement.  I like the idea of leaving a note for them to open every day.  We are hoping to be able to skype with the kids when they get home from school but that will depend on the availability and cost of the internet when we are there.  Because of my job, I have to leave my kids for short periods of time about 4 times a year so I am used to being away from them, which I hate but I think it is the thought of being so far that I can't come home if there is a problem.  This is also the longest I have been away from them and that concerns me because usually I am gone about four days and that is not soooo bad because I see them the day I leave and the day I come home so it really only amounts to not seeing them 2 days.  I know they will be fine.  I am leaving it in God's hands but I may not be :)  Thanks again.

Mommy Cameron 5, Xander 4, and twins Matthew and Chandler 2

playing soccerslidetwin boys

by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2010 at 8:25 AM

The most I have been away is a weekend.  A nice long weekend in Flordia while the kids were in PA in March.  Any way.  The boys loved that they were with their grandparents.  If your kids are like mine they just like being with the grandparents.  They also spent the night with a friend which made them really excited.  The hardest part was finding people to take care of them while we were gone. 

I would call them and it might be cool for them to get a postcard from you while you are gone.  If you send one when you first get there it should get to them around day 6 or 7 of your trip.

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