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Not the best way to motivate a child.

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:26 PM
  • 14 Replies

My daughter was all giggles and happy dances when it came time for her first day of kindergarten.  I wasn't so giddy though; my baby was growing up ( I remember my husband walking me back to the car while I cried after dropping her off that morning. It only got worse when she didn't want me to walk her in anymore. *sniffles!*)  I was happy that she was looking so forward to school, meeting new friends. And she liked her teacher, as did I.

Well, at FIRST.


Kayari would come home with her papers almost always 100 percent to a minimum of 80 percent, with an occasional very not good one, like every child in the world gets once in a while.  But overall, she was an amazing student, praised by other teachers and the principle for being so bright, quick to pick up on things, and being such a leader for the other kids as well as a mothering type that looked after the smaller kids protectively.  But her teacher...oh, I wanted to rip her a new one.


Kayari's papers that had high grades, neat handwriting, etc...never ONE smiley face on them. Not one not of "GOOD JOB!" or a sticker saying that was great. Never. NOT ONCE.  But rest assured that ANY TIME she had something negative to say, it was said:


Kayari missed this problem.  She needs to work on it.

Her handwriting is a mess.  Work on being neater.


She can't pronounce this word.  Does she practice at home?


Even notes on her artwork that read "Color neater!!!"  She was FIVE!  You don't expect to tell a child that age to color neater and always stay in the lines or you'll get in trouble.  Their JOB at that age is to scribble-color!

Kayari would come home crying, holding the papers up with even one check mark and a note about that problem, and apologizing to me for being a "bad student" and a "bad kid."  She spent the next year after that always asking me when she did art for FUN even, not schoolwork, "Mommy, did I do okay? I stayed in the lines right?  I'm not messy anymore?"  She traumatized my child.


Her first grade teacher....thank GOD for her, though.  She is the exact opposite.  Smiley faces and stickers as a reward, tells them "Good Job!" and leaves notes like that on their papers.  And if there IS a problem, instead of being negative about it, she says "Well, you misses this one here, but we can fix that. The rest of them you did OUTSTANDING on!"  Kayari feels like she can accomplish something now thanks to Mrs. Collier, and I thank her for that.  I just want to sometimes slap that Kindergarten teacher for leaving an emotional scar on my child that she got darn lucky to get out of her system.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandarinjack
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:44 PM

My son's teacher is equally negative and it's even more frustrating because I am a teacher at the same school. She would hunt me down to discuss every minor thing he needed to improve upon...even if I was in the hallway with my own students. She never had a positive word to say about him. I finally had to let her know that this was unacceptable. Luckily, my son loves school and enjoys being in her class. Wish I felt the same.

llammamamma
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:45 PM

I had the same problem w/ my son's Kindergarten Teacher as well, except for that my son has ADHD & the Teacher was always picking on him for everything. He also has allergies & coughs continually through out the spring & summer & the Teacher put him in the corner for coughing, I was livid. I told her "He has allergies & can't just stop coughing" he's not doing it to just annoy you but she didn't care what I said & put him in the corner any way's until I took him to the Dr. & got a note for her. My DS & her were always butting head's w/ each other about grades, work, playing w/ others & even when my DS got punched in the mouth @ recess she did nothing to stop it. So I pulled him out of public School & home taught him for 1/2 of his 1st grade yr. & then decided he needs the social activity (plus w/ a 4 yr. old @ home & a baby on the way it seemed like too much for me to handle & I have seizures on top of everything, yay me). So We put him in a different School (where we live it is split so we can take our kid's to one town or another to go to School), he loves it! His teacher & him get along, she's always praising him (& us telling DH & I we have done an excellent job on raising him), & he has made so many new friend's (it's great) he get's 100%, A's,A+,A-,B,B+,B- & C's on every paper. He is so smart! & I am thankful for this School & his new Teacher!  I am happy for you too, sound's like you struck gold as well w/ your Teacher. Congratulations!

Nightshadeisis
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:49 PM


Quoting mandarinjack:

My son's teacher is equally negative and it's even more frustrating because I am a teacher at the same school. She would hunt me down to discuss every minor thing he needed to improve upon...even if I was in the hallway with my own students. She never had a positive word to say about him. I finally had to let her know that this was unacceptable. Luckily, my son loves school and enjoys being in her class. Wish I felt the same.

*Hugs* Totally sorry, hon. I know exactly how you feel.  But the GOOD news is that next school year he'll have a different teacher and be able to have a different experience with a different teacher altogether. No more worrying about that hurtful person.


It's just the kind of thing that really steams a parent, when a person who is supposed to be in charge of children doesn't have the foggiest idea how to properly teach them.

Nightshadeisis
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:51 PM


Quoting llammamamma:

I had the same problem w/ my son's Kindergarten Teacher as well, except for that my son has ADHD & the Teacher was always picking on him for everything. He also has allergies & coughs continually through out the spring & summer & the Teacher put him in the corner for coughing, I was livid. I told her "He has allergies & can't just stop coughing" he's not doing it to just annoy you but she didn't care what I said & put him in the corner any way's until I took him to the Dr. & got a note for her. My DS & her were always butting head's w/ each other about grades, work, playing w/ others & even when my DS got punched in the mouth @ recess she did nothing to stop it. So I pulled him out of public School & home taught him for 1/2 of his 1st grade yr. & then decided he needs the social activity (plus w/ a 4 yr. old @ home & a baby on the way it seemed like too much for me to handle & I have seizures on top of everything, yay me). So We put him in a different School (where we live it is split so we can take our kid's to one town or another to go to School), he loves it! His teacher & him get along, she's always praising him (& us telling DH & I we have done an excellent job on raising him), & he has made so many new friend's (it's great) he get's 100%, A's,A+,A-,B,B+,B- & C's on every paper. He is so smart! & I am thankful for this School & his new Teacher!  I am happy for you too, sound's like you struck gold as well w/ your Teacher. Congratulations!

I feel ya, hon. I used to have seizures from overexhaustion myself and while I don't have them anymore, I still have migraine and have a four month old as well now.  Those kinds of extra pressures from a teacher that just doesn't do her job just make it worse on a person.  At least now he finally has that environment that is better for him.  And thankies :) I'm glad that she did as well. She's even sad about going to new class next year because she doesn't want to leave Mrs Colliers class. *laughs* That just tickles me.

kylesmom
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 4:53 PM

 kyle has been lucky he has always had positive teachers

Nightshadeisis
by on Feb. 23, 2010 at 4:28 PM


Quoting kylesmom:

 kyle has been lucky he has always had positive teachers

I hope it stays that way for him, hon. :)

Barabell
by Barbara on Feb. 23, 2010 at 5:04 PM


Quoting kylesmom:

 kyle has been lucky he has always had positive teachers

My son has been blessed with positive teachers also. 

I so wish I could have responded to this post, but I have no experience in that area yet.  It's so important for elementary teachers to be positive.  I think it's easier for students to deal with as they get older, but I couldn't imagine dealing with a kindergarten or 1st grade teacher like that. 

Good luck.  I hope things turn around for your daugher with her next teacher.


Nightshadeisis
by on Feb. 23, 2010 at 7:20 PM


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting kylesmom:

 kyle has been lucky he has always had positive teachers

My son has been blessed with positive teachers also. 

I so wish I could have responded to this post, but I have no experience in that area yet.  It's so important for elementary teachers to be positive.  I think it's easier for students to deal with as they get older, but I couldn't imagine dealing with a kindergarten or 1st grade teacher like that. 

Good luck.  I hope things turn around for your daugher with her next teacher.

So far so good.  She's enjoying her new teacher and only rarely does she get self conscious about herself again.

armycoppertop
by on Feb. 23, 2010 at 7:58 PM

 

 I had the same problem with my daughter's Spanish teacher last year... she developed allergies to the state (yes, to the state...) and was coughing frequently, and the doctor was concerned that she might have developed asthma as well. Her spanish teacher actually kicked her out of the classroom. I even went to my neighbor's house (one of her daughters was in my daughter's class) to verify that she was kicked out of the class and not just told to go get a drink of water. I called the school to discuss it with the principle, and the secretary actually told me that the prinicple would not talk to any parent who had a problem with a teacher!! And this teacher had my little girl, who had always been excited to go to school everyday for the last 4 years, crying to stay home from school on Spanish days (Spanish was twice a week) because she didn't want to be kicked out of class again.

 

Luckily, her other teachers are always putting smiley faces on all her papers, she brings home a behavior sheet every day from her reading class and Pizza Hut reading coupons with special certificates for improving her reading.

Quoting llammamamma:

I had the same problem w/ my son's Kindergarten Teacher as well, except for that my son has ADHD & the Teacher was always picking on him for everything. He also has allergies & coughs continually through out the spring & summer & the Teacher put him in the corner for coughing, I was livid. I told her "He has allergies & can't just stop coughing" he's not doing it to just annoy you but she didn't care what I said & put him in the corner any way's until I took him to the Dr. & got a note for her. My DS & her were always butting head's w/ each other about grades, work, playing w/ others & even when my DS got punched in the mouth @ recess she did nothing to stop it. So I pulled him out of public School & home taught him for 1/2 of his 1st grade yr. & then decided he needs the social activity (plus w/ a 4 yr. old @ home & a baby on the way it seemed like too much for me to handle & I have seizures on top of everything, yay me). So We put him in a different School (where we live it is split so we can take our kid's to one town or another to go to School), he loves it! His teacher & him get along, she's always praising him (& us telling DH & I we have done an excellent job on raising him), & he has made so many new friend's (it's great) he get's 100%, A's,A+,A-,B,B+,B- & C's on every paper. He is so smart! & I am thankful for this School & his new Teacher!  I am happy for you too, sound's like you struck gold as well w/ your Teacher. Congratulations!

 

Serenity75
by on Feb. 24, 2010 at 12:33 AM

 My older son's first grade teacher was the exact same way.  She DESTROYED his love for school.  My younger son got place in her class the following year.  I refused to allow my son to through what his big brother did and demanded that he be moved to another class.  Luckily, my older son is with a better teacher this year, too, and doing well now.

 I'm so sorry your baby girl had to experience that.  Unfortunately, it's a hit or miss with teachers.  I always get nervous the first day of school... wondering, "what is this teacher going to be like?"

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