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They are teachers, NOT parents!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:15 PM
  • 83 Replies

I have come to realize this school year that entirely too many parents expect the teachers to make sure their kid learns. It is the teacher's job to teach, and the parent's job to make sure they are learning. If the kid is NOT learning, it's the parent's responsibility to make sure their kid gets extra help from the school, or outside of school. NOT the teacher's. Why do so many parents expect their child's teacher to be able to keep track of each individual child's progress, AND be the child's advocate? Teachers have 25 - 40 students in their classrooms, and families who they have to be there for too. If every parent took the initiative to advocate for their child, to check grades, homework, etc.. our education system would work. 

Does anyone have an idea of how we can get that across to the parents who still don't play an active role in their child's education?

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:15 PM
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by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:20 PM

My kids are 5 & 7.  They're in Kindergarten and First grades.  I rely on the teacher to tell me they need help with a certain thing so I can help my kid(s) with it.  The kid isn't going to tell me, I barely get what they did that day out of them.  If no one tells me how or what to do to help them, how am I expected to help? 

I do help with the stuff I can at home (homework, etc), but I can't go to school with them.  The teacher is there with them all day.  It needs to be a team effort with the kids between the teachers and parents, not just solely on one side.

My boys' classrooms have about 18 kids in each class.  So maybe you're talking about older kids.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:28 PM

   I believe even as parents are quite active in their child's education, that doesn't always mean the education system will work ideally.  It takes both parents and teacher for the education to be as beneficial as possible to a child.  Both parents and teacher need to take responsibility.  As the children are spending a lot of time around this person and it IS their job to teach and I would hope that they are in tune enough with their job to know if a child is not benefiting from their way of working and would care enough to work with the parent to remedy the problem. After all, parents are unable to be there all hours of the child's school day. 

   I agree many parents are not truly active parents and I think the responsibility should lay mostly on the parents. However, I would like to see schools always step up and acknowledge truly how important their role is as well. They should be held accountable too!! They are dealing with children and their futures... that's a pretty big deal. It should not be an "Oh well, it's your kid so its your problem" situation.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:34 PM

I have gotten much more active to the point that we now home school in the evenings. My son is half way through 4th grade, hasn't started long division in school or dealing with fractions. But he is allowed to use calculators to do this in class because that is easier to teach than actual math!!

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:39 PM

I am active with my children at home and school but IT is the teachers JOB to know if a student is struggling. After all they are the one with the grade book, I am so tired of listening to teachers whine and cry about how many students they have and how they can't handle the job because they have to much to do. I go to school I advocate for my child and what do I get a bunch of lame ass excuses!!! If you can't identify the struggling students and notify the parents then get a NEW DAMN JOB!!!! It is supposed to be a partnership I as a parent am tired of being treated like an inconvenice to the teachers when I try to help them and my child. If they don't make an effort to join the team we all lose. Mainly the ones that suffer are the kids.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 6:44 PM

As long as the teachers are actually teaching.  From what I can gather more and more schools require the parents to teach the kids to read before they even start school.  I know neither of my middle 2 kids learned to read in kindergarten but the 1st grade teacher expected them to know how to read when they started the next year.  No one ever told me that and from the homework that was sent home and parent/teacher conferences it was never said they were teaching reading in kindergarten (never saw any reading work at all) and didn't say I was required to do the teaching.  If I wanted to teach my kids stuff I'd homeschool them.  I send them to school to learn those things.  Instead I had to spend the summer teaching my middle child to read so she wouldn't be so far behind in 1st grade like her brother was.  And I suck at it.  She was still behind.

I didn't even know my son had been flagged for Title I help by his kindergarten teacher until 2 weeks into 1st grade because he was so far behind.  Maybe because they weren't actually teaching him to read, just expecting him to know it magically or that I had already taught him how.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:09 PM

 I don't agree the teacher is their to teach.  When my child get home I'm their to reinforce with home work what the teacher has taught.  Teacher's don't give us the lesson plan where we even know what the teacher is teaching.  It is both of our jobs to keep checking in with our children to make sure they are getting the information. 

What makes me mad is that the teacher is expected to deal with children that refuse to sit still and keep quiet.  My dd has had to sit next to the same student all year because he wont quit talking.  She is expected to keep telling him to shut up.  Which I guess she does well but, I don't believe that is fair to her or the other students.   

by Mikki on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:38 PM

I kind of agree with the OP.  If a student doesn't learn or something, it's always the teachers fault.  The parents had nothing to do with it.  They didn't help their child with their homework and I doubt that they even asked if they had homework.  The parent doesn't come to parent teacher conferences to see how their child is doing nor do they ever contact the teacher at any given time of the year to see how their child is doing.  But yet it's us teacher's fault. 

To the first poster on here, what do you think report cards are for?  Do you ever look at your child's papers brought home after graded to see if they passed or not?????  That's how you know if your child is doing well or not.  It's not my job to contact the parent everytime a child did poorly on a concept or something.  We grade papers and send them home.  It's not my fault if that paper doesn't get home.  Our school sends out progress reports at midterm and if a child has a d or f in a class weekly until that grade is brought up.  You get your quarter report cards. 

family in the van   Mom of four

by Emerald Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I have to agree with the OP as well.  I check my boys backpacks everyday as soon as possible and I look at everything in there.  If I have a question about a test, or I'm not sure how to do something ad my son doesn't know either I will email the teacher or give her a call.  I always know how my boys are doing in school, but then again it is important to me so I keep on top of their progress.

Parents need to help out teachers also by teaching their kids how to sit still and be quiet when someone else is speaking.  They need to teach basic manners at home too.  I spend alot of time at the school and am very surprised at how badly some of the children behave.

The biggest problem that I have with my youngest's Kindergarten teacher is that she also seems to think that she is a doctor.  She has diagnosed my son with all sorts of ailments that he has never had.  I especially loved the ear infection that she was sure he had the week before Christmas.  I took him to the doc and it was just a virus, not ear infection. lol

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:08 PM

My kids have special needs, so I guess I'm used to having a very close relationship with their teachers and the school--despite that all are mainstreamed at this point.  Our school is very responsive to us.  I have never encountered a teacher there who was less than interested and helpful.  We also have a really good parent-teacher group that is very involved with the school.  My older two kids get weekly memos from their teachers keeping me up to date on their current test scores and any concerns, academic or behavioral, that are affecting their schooling.  I have to sign and return them.  Because my children's conditions sometimes affect the reliability of their statements regarding homework assignments, their teachers have agreed with me to sign the children's agendas before they leave for the day so that I can get an accurate picture of what they are expected to get done.  My  youngest child has major issues and I communicate daily with his teacher and keep her up to date on med changes and any other information that may help her manage him in the classroom. 

It is up to us as parents to ensure that our children have adequate time and an appropriate environment in which to complete their homework and study for tests.  We also consider it our responsibility to explain concepts and help our children overcome their specific challenges with respect to school.  In addition, the school officials and teachers are included when needed in the non-school team that works together to address our kids' special needs.

Though we definitely expect quality teaching from our public school, we do not expect the school to parent our children.  We are grateful for the level of cooperation and concern we get at our school.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:18 PM

Yeah don't totally agree. I am active with knowing what my kids have for homewrok, being sure they do it and if I have concerns contacting the teacher BUT yes it is the teachers JOB to be sure they are on track. SOme parents are not teachers so they could have a kid whom is behind and just not know. Their job is to teach and yes parents need to help and be involved and active but things you are saying is not their job is exactly what their job is! Fortunately for me I don't have those teachers you describe and they all keep me up to date where my kids are. I am no teacher but always willing to help my kids where is needed and I rely on the teacher to guide me. Otherwise I may as well home school. My son has 24in his class and my daughter has 22. If they had 40 I would pull my kids because that is WAY TOO MANY!

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