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Daughter's Homework Dilemma

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 8:31 AM
  • 7 Replies

My 11-year-old refuses to TRY doing her homework on her own.  She will come home from school and immediately say, "I need help with my homework" before even getting it out.  When I look at her homework assignment, I am wondering what it is she needs help with. Take her Weekly Reader, for example.   She almost always wants someone to do the back page for her, i.e., answer multiple choice questions.  She simply refuses to go back to the articles and re-read them.  Once, she asked for help on a question.  I went to the article where the answer was and it was actually in the heading of the article.  She just refuses to read!  She does have difficulty with comprehension, but this (in my book) was an easy assignment.  She does this with her other books, too, i.e., history, science, etc.  I have tried to show her how to "skim" a page to find the answers, as well as look things up via the index.  Bottom line, though, is that she wants ME to read the chapters and for ME to give her the answers.  I tell her it's not My homework; it is HERS, and that SHE needs to do the reading!  It is a never-ending battle to get her to do any reading assignments. 

Unfortunately, I cannot help her with her math, either.  She's doing things that I don't even remember doing in grade school.  I am an English major, not a math guru.  I feel bad that I cannot help her with her math, but that's just the way it is. Her teacher is available almost 24/7, before and after school, as well as recess.  He has even given us his home phone number.  Still, she refuses to get extra help and will struggle all night long on her math homework, get frustrated, and cry.  Ugh! 

Advice?  Am I being too harsh?  I don't think my doing her homework is teaching her anything, other than to be dependent on me, which can be damaging in the long run. 

 

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 8:31 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Mimomof3boys
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:01 AM

Yeah helping and doing are 2 different things. For the math have you googled the math curriculum. there are alot of "dummy" sites that walk you through stuff. I know that I had to find some "english" ones when my son started bringing home subject/ predicate. lol. Been a LONG time since I have thought about sentence structure :)

I would not help her with the stuff you know she knows. It is a lesson. She needs to know the consequences of her actions. I would talk to the teacher and explain it so they will understand why all of a sudden her homework may not be up to par w in the past.

Good luck.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Mar. 6, 2010 at 11:15 AM

 I agree w/ the PP. Good luck getting her to be more responsable about her ow homework.

ErikaRobin
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 11:17 AM

I'd refuse to help her. 

I only help my children with homework if they are doing 90% of the work.  It makes no sense otherwise. 

She can't succeed if she doesn't have the opportunity to fail, right?

Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 6, 2010 at 4:27 PM


Quoting ErikaRobin:

I'd refuse to help her. 

I only help my children with homework if they are doing 90% of the work.  It makes no sense otherwise. 

She can't succeed if she doesn't have the opportunity to fail, right?

I agree.  I have my 10 year old son do 80-90% of his homework without help, and I also review it when he's complete to go over any wrong answers.

rkoloms
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 7:53 AM

Start by asking your daughter why she is unwilling to read the articles and do the work. I suspect that her answer will help guide you. My suspicion is a fear of failure.

Robin in Chicago

hepmommy
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 4:04 PM

You may just have to let her "fall on her face" once to make her realize that you can't always be there to do it for her.  I know this is a harsh scenario, but what would she do if you weren't there?  What if you were in an accident and couldn't help?  She has to overcome this and learn to cope.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Mar. 7, 2010 at 10:52 PM

 Ialso agree with the other moms about letting her fall on her face. So to speak. And talking to her about WHY she does or acts this way. Once again good luck with getting to the root of the problem.

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