Liar Liar Pants on Fire!!!

[Xantho]

 So my daughter has had this persistent cough and we took her to the doctor today and found out it is just her windpipes are agitated because of bronchitis. The cough will go away within a month with the aid of an inhaler.

We were at my mom's house and my mom asked Akasha if she was tired which she obviously was.  She replied no...then said "I can't breath" then started busting up laughing about it...which tells mommy she lied about it.

I'm so frustrated with her lies constantly!  It's like we cannot do anything without a lie being told about something.

So frustrating.  We have tried time outs, soap in mouth, spanking, and being grounded. 

I colored on a wall and DH got mad and didn't believe her when she said I did it to prove if you tell too many lies no one will believe anything you say. 

I'm at wits end...is she a compulsive liar or just being a kid?

We explained that lieing about something that serious is not funny nor is it acceptable.  I'm at wits end...not sure what to do from here, it also doesn't matter what we do because if she goes to her moms it doesn't matter because her mom does not follow the rules that ALL 3 of us sat down and came up with!

She lets her do WHATEVER and some days I get so frustrated I need to call Supernanny or someone!!!  Usually I just come here and talk to you lovely ladies! lol

[Barabell]

I went through this with my son when I believe he was Akasha's age now.  It just took a lot of persistance and working on him gaining my trust.  Every time he would lie, I would talk about how it was breaking my trust in him and whether or not he wanted me to trust his word.  It took a long time for the issue to be resolved (I think it was ongoing for about a year), but he continued to work towards gaining my trust.  I'm sorry to say that I don't think there is a quick answer to this, but work on consistent reminders and conversations about how continued lying will ruin your trust in her and help her want to gain your trust in the long run.  Again, it was a long process for my son, but he is now doing great and I can't even remember how long it has been now since he's lied to me.  It'll get better, but I don't think there's an overnight fix to this issue.

[hholllyy426]

Sorry that you're going through this frustration. My son likes to make up stories and not own up to his wrong doings but he's getting better at it.

[Shelby72]

Lots of kids go through this stage, and it gets tougher when they get around other kids that are really good at it.  I just kept telling my son that if he lies, we will never trust him and that he will get in less trouble for telling the truth.  We also told him that he will never get spanked for telling the truth, but lying will make it more likely.  We don't really spank our kids alot, but it worked with him.  However, don't know about the younger one.  That will be more interesting as he gets older (he is only two right now).

[Xantho]

 Thanks ladies, we do the persistent thing its just hard when there's another parent involved that doesn't do jack!

lol

[Barabell]

Quoting Shelby72:

Lots of kids go through this stage, and it gets tougher when they get around other kids that are really good at it.  I just kept telling my son that if he lies, we will never trust him and that he will get in less trouble for telling the truth.  We also told him that he will never get spanked for telling the truth, but lying will make it more likely.  We don't really spank our kids alot, but it worked with him.  However, don't know about the younger one.  That will be more interesting as he gets older (he is only two right now).

Yes, we did that also.  I forgot to mention that in my other response.  When my son did realize that his punishment was less for admitting the issue up front, that helped too.

[Xantho]

 Yeah she has been told that...throughout all her lieing escapades...It just worries me how they used to be silly little stories or white lies and they have gotten more serious over the last year...

[Barabell]

Quoting Xantho:

 Yeah she has been told that...throughout all her lieing escapades...It just worries me how they used to be silly little stories or white lies and they have gotten more serious over the last year...

Yes, that was exactly what I was dealing with too.  It escilated between 6 to 7 yo, and then I had to really work on it from about 7 to 8 yo.  Unfortunately, I do not have much experience with kids besides my own, and I did not belong to CM during that time in my life.  But I'm getting the impression that this behavior is pretty common for that age.  Like I said, there was no overnight fix with our son, but things did improve for us and he's very honest with us now. 

[srhtinker1981]

Mine will lie like he tells a joke, he laughs right after and says he's joking but i tell him it's lying. Now he is learning how to manipulate, grrrr. I don't know what to tell you, but that whole coloring on the wall was a good idea. It's like crying wolf.

[Carey2006]

Get the story book about the lil boy who cried wolf........

 

Also, this is CRUEL but serves the point just like you did above......tell her you are going to Disney World or some place special to her....like to the zoo on Saturday...when Saturday comes and she mentions it...ZINGER!! Then make her promise not to lie to you and have HER come up with a punishment (might be surprised by hard she might be on herself)...also perhaps if you can afford it...say as a reward for NOT LYING you WILL take her to the zoo, Disney some place special.

GOOD LUCK!!!!