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What do you think?

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:24 PM
  • 19 Replies

 

Ok so DD6 was invited to a birthday party for her classmate. Well I let BF know DD has a bday party to go to, and he asks me if I can ask if SD5 can go too.  I asked DD what she thought, (She had told me on Friday why don't ppl invite my brother n sister? I told her well not every1 knows you have a brother n sister. However this classmate dose know, because we used to live across the street from them) and she told me, "Classmate" said SD can't go. Now I understand, it's one of those parties that you have to pay per person.

So I tell BF that "Classmate" already said no.

He gets mad at me! And starts giving me an attitude because HIS DD didn't get something she wanted. I was P.O'd that I was getting such a bad attitude for something I had no control over!!

Now I talked to my friend about it, n she says o well your not looking at it, like they are sisters. I said no I am, bc I think the girls should have seperate friends. SD is only in K n hasn't had any party invites yet. But when she does I'm not going to ask if DD can go.

She says well my mom asks if the other sib can go.

What do you guys think? Is it rude to ask if a sib can go to a party they were not invited to? OR am I being mean?

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:00 PM

My son started having smaller parties, and I was not offended if a parent asked for a sib to join in.  It rarely happened, and when it did there was usually a reason for it.  A lot of times if they had the sib come along, a parent would then stay instead of drop off the children.

IMO, if there wasn't a reason for her to go besides "just because" I think it is a little rude.


kmrtigger
by Kandice on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:07 PM

 I have 3 boys and I do not ask if all can attend a party. They each have their own group of friends and I like it that way. When I have a party for my kids I invite a friend of the other 2 boys so they have someone they know, to play with as well. But that is parties I have.

IMHO, you have did nothing wrong. You asked DD if the friend wanted SD to attend and they answer was no. Maybe you should explain to DH that you have already asked and the answer was no, and explain that the party is pay per guest and it would be rude to ask for SD to come along, unless you are willing to pay her way and stay with her.

lilyrose73
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:09 PM

 IMO, it is rude to ask if a sibling can come to a party they weren't invited to. 

Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 19, 2010 at 8:17 PM


Quoting kmrtigger:

 I have 3 boys and I do not ask if all can attend a party. They each have their own group of friends and I like it that way. When I have a party for my kids I invite a friend of the other 2 boys so they have someone they know, to play with as well. But that is parties I have.

IMHO, you have did nothing wrong. You asked DD if the friend wanted SD to attend and they answer was no. Maybe you should explain to DH that you have already asked and the answer was no, and explain that the party is pay per guest and it would be rude to ask for SD to come along, unless you are willing to pay her way and stay with her.

I agree with this.  I hope my post didn't read differently.  I guess the way I think about it is it wasn't rude that you asked, but usually asking involves a reason why and not just because.  Asking without a reason seems a little odd to me.  Usually the parents that asked me was due to a scheduling conflict, or they were a single parent and wanted to stay but couldn't unless the sibling attended.


mnwintercritter
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 9:54 PM

I wouldn't think bad of you if you had asked me but I WOULDN'T ask and with my past experience of my son's parties my answer would have to be no. Generally most of the kids parties involve some cost for each child attending and many are a catered type of activity. My biggest problem with my son's parties at this age was that so few would RSVP and almost all invited would show up and some with siblings. First grade 8 RSVP'd and 17 showed up when you include univited sib, this was a per child location. It makes it hard to say anything to parents when like at his kindergarten party (at home) most parents actually dropped their kids off at the curb without walking them to the door.  Starting this year with 2nd grade and on-going into the future I limit the party to 6 children (five friends), no sibs allowed. If one friend can't attend due to that rule we invite someone else.

These bad experiences have made me much more responsible about responding to invites for my son.  SD will have her own invites to birthday parties with her friends and classmates that bigger SS can not attend for the same reasons. Your BF is being both unreasonable and unfair.

rkoloms
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 6:11 AM

Yes, it is rude to ask.

Robin in Chicago

DessC
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 7:33 AM

 If she was not invited she should not go and I never ask.

natesmom1228
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 7:38 AM


Quoting DessC:

 If she was not invited she should not go and I never ask.


Exactly what i was thinking.

MommyOfMiaLynn
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 7:59 AM

i agree

Quoting natesmom1228:


Quoting DessC:

 If she was not invited she should not go and I never ask.


Exactly what i was thinking.



CokietheClown
by on Apr. 20, 2010 at 8:03 AM

I think it's rude. Kids should be allowed to have separate "lives" without the siblings involved. It makes them feel special.

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