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Looking for any moms with helpful advice on headstrong boys bn 8-10

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:24 AM
  • 15 Replies

Hi Moms,

 I am hoping that some of you are in the same boat that I am. I have a smart and bright 9 yo son who has just recently decided that hes going to hae attitiude, roll his eyes or all together ignore us. And his grades are good but only if he deems it worthy of attention. I know that attitude is part of his age and his body beginning to change, but how do we make him understand that his school work is not something that is an option when he is more then capable of an honor roll eery nine weeks? Thanks for any new ideas and I look forward to hearing from you.

by on May. 2, 2010 at 11:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kmrtigger
by Kandice on May. 2, 2010 at 11:48 AM

 You are going to have sit him down and have a serious talk with him. I don't know what else will work. Maybe take away privilege's if he doesn't complete assignments, etc. Reward him with tons of praise for good grades and a job well done. Maybe he thinks you guys don't care and that is why he is acting this way.

hholllyy426
by on May. 2, 2010 at 1:45 PM

What Kandice said.

Quoting kmrtigger:

 You are going to have sit him down and have a serious talk with him. I don't know what else will work. Maybe take away privilege's if he doesn't complete assignments, etc. Reward him with tons of praise for good grades and a job well done. Maybe he thinks you guys don't care and that is why he is acting this way.



KTMOM
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:41 PM

I just think that consistency is the key.  Consistent expectations and discipline.  Make your expectations clear and plain,  and make the consquences clear and plain. Also set up rewards for good behavior.  Obviously this varies from parent to parent as far as expectations and consequences,  but I think that no matter what your rules are,  being consistent is the best way to make things work.

bmw29
by on May. 2, 2010 at 3:43 PM

 I don't know how much help I can be. We homeschool our 9yr old DS and his attitude towards school has done a complete 180. Now he loves school and begs to do school on weekends and during the summer.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on May. 2, 2010 at 4:14 PM

Does your son use a homework agenda?  We started our son using one this year (3rd grade) and it has helped him with remembering and completing assigments alot.  He writes all of his assignements in this agenda and also when they are due, he checks them off as he completes them and I initial them after they meet my satisfaction.  Another thing that we do, is keep track of his grades online, our school has online grading so I can check his grades any time, any day.  If a grade is slipping, we have him bring his book home for that subject every night to study wether he has a test the next day or not.  You really do need to make sure that your son knows that his eduation is very important to you and you expect him to do his best every single day.

jhelmke
by Member on May. 2, 2010 at 5:07 PM

I have a 10 year old. We hit the hormones and pulling away from mom big time.  I agree with the others, but you got to find what works for your family.  My son seems to be willing to do school work after he had practice or games.  I am not sure why? I know the more sugar he has the more combative he becomes.  We also are dealing with the issue of him liking girls/girls interest in him and him trying to I guess label himself.  He came home the other week with questions about jocks, nerds, etc. I guess the classmates were talking about what they consider themselves. I am also dealing with his obsession with having guns for arms. At the end of basketball season all the sudden I noticed how muscled his arms were.  his friends were the same way.  I say keep after him about stuff. My son told me last week he knew I cared becuase I asked. He said allot kids tell him that the parents just leave them alone.

Radarma
by on May. 2, 2010 at 5:09 PM

BOOK LINK

Start here!

 

 

MJoyful
by on May. 2, 2010 at 5:14 PM

One tip I have is to help your child remember his innate inner strengths and resources by creating what I call an Identity Shield. Cut out a round circle from construction paper and tell your son that the Native Americans used to decorate their shields with symbols of his identity, interests and dreams, (ex., feathers, pottery, paint, beads,etc.) and then place them on the outside of their tipi's. The shields became like a visual description of who lived inside. Then ask your sonif he could be any animal, bird, or part of nature in the whole world, what would he be, then have him draw all of the symbols of hisidentity on the shield. You could use crayons, markers, beads, feathers, glitter, or whatever other decorations you have around the house.  Then ask your son to describe the symbols of his identity to you and perhaps ask if wants to put the identity shield up in his room or on the door to his room.  I hope this was helpful.
Warmly,
Joy

heybooboo
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2010 at 5:19 PM

We made it clear with our very headstrong 9 yo DD that we expect her grades to stay with in a certain grade range (very much with in her abilities).  As long as she maintains that Grade Range, we let her be.  If her grades slip from that range, or she brings home a significant decline in grade, She loses privileges until it improves; no phone, TV, computer or video games, or friends..  She is fully aware that DH and I are very willing to help her out if necessary. So, she knows she can't use that as an excuse.  On occasion she will bring home a bad paper, or there will be a note from her teacher.  When that happens, she loses privileges until we see that it has improved.

Our 8 year old DS, his grade range is different as his abilities differ a bit.  But the same goes for him.

We use the same punishment for when they do not do their chores or are fighting. 

rkoloms
by on May. 3, 2010 at 5:37 AM


Quoting MJoyful:

One tip I have is to help your child remember his innate inner strengths and resources by creating what I call an Identity Shield. Cut out a round circle from construction paper and tell your son that the Native Americans used to decorate their shields with symbols of his identity, interests and dreams, (ex., feathers, pottery, paint, beads,etc.) and then place them on the outside of their tipi's. The shields became like a visual description of who lived inside. Then ask your sonif he could be any animal, bird, or part of nature in the whole world, what would he be, then have him draw all of the symbols of hisidentity on the shield. You could use crayons, markers, beads, feathers, glitter, or whatever other decorations you have around the house.  Then ask your son to describe the symbols of his identity to you and perhaps ask if wants to put the identity shield up in his room or on the door to his room.  I hope this was helpful.
Warmly,
Joy


What a fantastic idea!!

Robin in Chicago

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