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Is your child a quitter?

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:52 AM
  • 10 Replies

I'm just wondering if anyone else deals with this. Last night my daughter (who will be 9 in a week) had a soccer game. She has been playing since she was 4 so she knows what she is doing. Anyway, this season we are playing for Upwards, which is a Christian based league and they pray together before the games, etc. We signed up for this league to her a break from the competitiveness of other leagues. 

Last night the other team had a rough player. She was a good player but rougher than I would expect for the league. She had pushed and tripped a few girls and towards the end of the game she kicked the ball super hard and it bounced of my daughter's forehead. It was not intentionally kicked at her head. Well, she pretended to be OK but then came off the field and broke down into tears. She claims she never ever wants to play soccer again for the rest of her life and doesn't want to finish the season with her team because she doesn't want to play against that girl again. I think her head hurt but her ego was bruised worse. They only have 3 games left and I just hate it when she gets like this...stubborn! I want her to finish the season because it's the right thing to do but when she gets mad or her feelings get hurt, there is no changing her mind. Anyone else go through something similar with their kids?

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:52 AM
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by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:03 AM

My oldest daughter is almost 10 and isn't so much a quitter as she's just plain lazy.  If something requires effort then she either won't try it at all or will give up after a couple tries.  That goes for things she likes and things she has to do.  She refuses to clean her room and would rather be grounded all day (even in the summer while her brother and sisters are enjoying the pool) then pick up toys or dust or whatever.

I've never met a lazier child in my life.  I have to force her out the door to play and then she just whines that she's bored because it takes too much effort to get her bike out and it's too tiring to peddal anyway.  She just wants to sit and watch TV all day.  She has a super fast metabolism otherwise she'd probably weigh 100lbs already.  All she does is eat and watch TV (if I'm not on her case every second of the day trying to get her up moving and doing other stuff).

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 11:13 AM

I've had similar experiences with my 4 sons...each at some time or the other.  Let her vent her feelings for a day or so....then remind her that you don't just quit because of someone else.  You don't quit and let your team down.  Remind her that is isn't just about HER, that the team depends on EVERYONE being there.  Even if she thinks she doesn't want to play, make her dress out and go to the game.  I'll bet she will want to go into the game before it is all over.  My boys could never just sit on the sidelines once the game started!  Good luck!

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 6:25 PM

My daughter wants to quit baseball . . . . she's 7 and it's boring to her.  We'll finish the season and then not sign up again.

My sons did Judo for a couple of years but finally, they quit.  We let them because it was not a team sport and they complained so much they wore us down!

It's hard to deal with a child who wants to quit . . .

readingI have four kids.  I've been married 22 years. My favorite color is purple. I hate coffee. I read a lot. I love to go to movies alone. Hot weather makes me crabby. 

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 6:40 PM

My son is almost 4 years old. Every time when he doing something that challenging. Like putting puzzles together and he do not get it , or shooting toy bow and arrow and couldn't pull the string and let it go so the arrow flies. He just say mommy I can't do it and just drop the whole thing. I made a rule in the house that " Can't " is not an answer and I do not want to hear it. If you really just can't or don't want to just say I do not want to do it. He yet to get to any sports that he do not want to do , He just got today a new bike and surprisingly he took off riding it well. He fall off once but got back rite on it. He is getting better at not using the Can't word and trying harder to succeed in things he want to do.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 6:42 PM

I would talk to her about what she likes about soccer and also commitment and what that means.  Let her know that if she doesn't want to play after the season, she doesn't have to.

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 6:43 PM

Mia Hamm wrote a book called "Winners Never Quit".  It's a children's book (for ages 4-7 i think) but it is a good little book.  And, of course, anything Mia Hamm is awesome!

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 7:46 PM

Tell her she made a commitment to the team and she will keep it.  Take her to the next practice/game whether she wants to go or not.  If she chooses not to play, then she can tell her coach why. 

Our kids are not allowed to quit mid-season.  Period.  It just isn't an option.  They don't have to play another season, but they will finish what they start.  If they miss a practice/game, then they tell the coach why.

by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 6:28 AM

Her teammates are depending on her to finish the season....

Robin in Chicago

by on Jun. 4, 2010 at 9:06 AM

My son is like this and he's told to suck it up and made to finish the season he started.  He is not allowed to quit.

by Barbara on Jun. 4, 2010 at 11:01 AM

I could see my son acting like your daughter after being hit in the head with a soccer ball, except for the quiting part.  He loves sports too much, and he would be fine by the next game.  I have no advice except making her stick out the season because the team is depending on her and ask her if she really wants to quit a sport she loves over one small incident like that.

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