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Spinoff from allowance- If you don't give one what do you do when...

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:19 AM
  • 14 Replies

you are at the store and your child begs for some toy or expensive clothing item that you don't want to buy? Do you give in, just say no or wait for the next gift giving time? I give an allowance and I expect my children to use it for all "wants" that aren't needs. If my son wants another toy, then he can buy it if he has the money, if he doesn't then he can earn some from extra chores or wait until the next allowance. If my daughter wants some expensive clothing that I don't think she needs than ditto. I buy all needs, and include some treats but they buy the wants. What do you do?

Kim  

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:19 AM
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AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:20 AM

We give an allowance... but I would never require my child to buy all of their own wants. We enjoy buying them things. She uses her allowance for random things, she also saves a percentage and gives a percentage to a charity of her choice.

 

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

justanotherjen
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:25 AM

We don't give an allowance.  We also don't normally get crap at the store when we are there, either.  They can beg all they want but they probably won't get it, especially toys.  They have enough toys and junk already (they don't keep it picked up half the time anyway).

Clothes...if they are in need of clothes then we'll buy it IF we have the money and it's on sale.  We rarely buy anything full price (has to be on clearance).

Toys they get for birthdays and holidays but we're cutting back on that since they have so much and don't want to pick up (they'll do other chores they just refuse to pick up their toys).

Allowance does not work with my kids, especially my 10yo.  The times we've offered an allowance for chores all I heard was, "how much do I get for X" and if they didn't like the amount they refused to do the chore.  Or if we did the weekly pay thing they would get mad because they didn't do ALL their chores so therefore didn't get ALL their allowance and just not do anything because it wasn't worth it.

Besides, with 4 kids we can't afford to pay them all.

They do still get occasional treats although they take them for granted and seem to forget about them right away when they want something. 

teddysmom08
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:56 AM

We do not give an allowance.  If DS sees something expensive he wants, he saves for it.  He does chores because he is part of the family team and everyone pulls his or her weight. His chores are to set the table, pour the drinks, and take them to the table, clear the table, and put all folded laundry in its right place.  He is also expected to pick up after himself, and clean his room.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 12:17 PM

My boys don't do that.  They aren't  accustomed to getting toys and things every time we go to the store, so they just don't ask.  If they see something in a store ad or tv commercial that they think they would like, they add it to their wish list for family/friends to use when holiday and birthday shopping.  It is all in what your child has grown up with and what they are used to.  For our family this is completely normal and people whose kids are whining in the store for this that and the next thing is really annoying to me, so I am glad that I didn't give in and buy them stuff when they were toddlers - the whining was easier to handle then and now they just don't even ask.  They know that it has to go on their wish list, no discussion happens about it either.

auroragold
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 12:49 PM

 My response is Teddysmom08 and Steelcrazy's combined!

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:00 PM


Quoting teddysmom08:

We do not give an allowance.  If DS sees something expensive he wants, he saves for it.  He does chores because he is part of the family team and everyone pulls his or her weight. His chores are to set the table, pour the drinks, and take them to the table, clear the table, and put all folded laundry in its right place.  He is also expected to pick up after himself, and clean his room.

How does he save for it if he doesn't get an allowance?

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

teddysmom08
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:12 PM


Quoting AutymsMommy:

 

Quoting teddysmom08:

We do not give an allowance.  If DS sees something expensive he wants, he saves for it.  He does chores because he is part of the family team and everyone pulls his or her weight. His chores are to set the table, pour the drinks, and take them to the table, clear the table, and put all folded laundry in its right place.  He is also expected to pick up after himself, and clean his room.

How does he save for it if he doesn't get an allowance?

He gets money for birthdays and Christmas. He also redeems cans and bottles from both our house and his grandparents. On the last trip to do so, he got $15.00.

auroragold
by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:15 PM

 We also give paying jobs that are not routine chores.  Scouring out the minivan is a paying job.  Taking apart the kitchen drawers, wiping them out and reorganizing is a paying job. Some yard functions are paying jobs.

And grandma is always willing to mail a buck or $10 when she knows DD is saving for something special

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:34 PM

So true, nothing like grandma knowing the kids are saving for something.  My kids get cash from pap for good report cards and earning their rank in cub scouts as well as birthdays and every holiday under the sun including "Happy Tax Day!"  I'm sure that very few people celebrate that day with gifts, cards and cash. lol

AutymsMommy
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:43 PM

 

Quoting steelcrazy:

So true, nothing like grandma knowing the kids are saving for something.  My kids get cash from pap for good report cards and earning their rank in cub scouts as well as birthdays and every holiday under the sun including "Happy Tax Day!"  I'm sure that very few people celebrate that day with gifts, cards and cash. lol


Lol... very, very true. My daughter is saving for a new DSi game (she also earns them by making good grades). She had saved $30 so far... until Pop came to visit. Then she suddenly comes out of her room with $50... Pop told her that the Tooth Fairy visited their house too (she had lost a tooth).

I am a Private School sending, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Homework Helping, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Academic pushing Mother. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it raising my child - I will do that, Thank You. I believe that a woman's place is in the home taking care of her house, children and husband. I am submissive and proud, my husband is head of my home. I am a proud, traditional Roman Catholic, as is my husband... Yes we are teaching our children that The Church is the only Church.               Aimee


 

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