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My 8YR OLD DS IS A LIER!!!

Posted by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:01 PM
  • 19 Replies

 

RECENTLY I HAVE CAUGHT MY SON IN A COUPLE OF LIES.  MY "BIGGEST" PET PEEVE IN THE WORLD IS A LIER.  I CAN HANDLE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS EXCEPT THAT.  THIS BEING SAID I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY LIERS IN MY HOUSE.

 

I TRIED TALKING TO HIM AND EXPLAINING THAT IT IS WRONG TO LIE AND BY LIEING HE WILL BE BREAKING THE TRUST ME AND HIM HAVE. (OUR TRUST IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AS WELL) I HAVE ALSO PUNISHED HIM BY GROUNDING HIM FROM PLAYING OUTSIDE, TIME OUTS, TAKING AWAY SOMETHING THAT HE LIKES OR EVEN TAKING AWAY ONE OF HIS PREVLAGES.  NOTHING SEEMS TO BE WORKING, IDK IF THERE IS SOMETHING DEEPER THAN HIS SIMPLE LIE OR IF ITS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE EASILY FIXED.

 

I KNOW I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT CUZ HE IS GETTING BETTER AT IT AND I'M SURE HE HAS GOTTEN AWAY WITH A FEW LIES ALREADY THAT I HAVE NOT CAUGHT HIM UP IN!

 

ANY ADVICE ANYONE???

Vanessa Dawn


My Home Business Pays


by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kim24kids
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:05 PM

 Not sure but ...would love to know how to stop it.So here's a BUMP!!!

 My 12 year old will do something right in front of me and then deny it!!!banging head into wall

And lieing is my #1 pet peeve too!!!

Click on my siggy to get an Amazing siggy!!! ;)

Plz tell them Kim24kids sent U ;)http://www.cafemom.com/group/SignatureObsession


jaderica
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know how helpful this is, but lying is usually a defense mechanism. Kids usually lie when they percieve the truth as somehow dangerous to them.  The trick is to make it more advantageous to tell the truth then it is to lie, without letting them get away with anything either. One approach that I have used with some success is to have levels of punishment, so that if they do something wrong but admit to it, the punishment is less than if they try to lie and cover it up.

Good Luck!

-Jaderica

 

MYKIDS_ANGEL
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree with you. By you giving the child a small punishment for him admitting he was, lying would help him to tell the truth. KNOW if you were to punish him, harder when he is lying it will make him not want to tell the truth because he knows what will come next.

kenee
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 9:29 PM

I don't have any answers but I would love to have some ideas myself. My 9 yr old lies too and it really upsets me. I have talk to him but it hasn't done much. I even talk to his pediatrician and she has a 9 yr old daughter and she said that with them being in school it is normal for this to happen and she is trying to find a way to stop it as well.

pregbug
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 10:06 PM

wow, this sounds familiar. my 8 year old daughter is a chronic liar and has no credibility with anyone. i took her to a psychologist... BEST THING I EVER DID. I am a big advocate for therapy by the way. she loves going and its been 6 weeks and shes better.  her lies and stories were getting outta control so now at home when i know shes lying the therapist said to say "that sounds like a story not something that actually happened"  or "that doesnt sound like the truth. you need to tell me the truth"  there may be more going on with your son then you know . i would have a therapist see him. its worth it!  now, after 6 weeks, she will try to lie and its like she cant anymore.  and dont worry about him feeling weird going to a therapist. my daughter knows her therapist as a "dr:"  that she talks to once a week.  I ended up also finding out that my daughter has a mild case of ADD, but like i said shes already getting better and she loves going to therapy.

lvmom76
by on Jun. 26, 2010 at 11:50 PM

BUMP!

auroragold
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 7:03 AM

 

Quoting jaderica:

I don't know how helpful this is, but lying is usually a defense mechanism. Kids usually lie when they percieve the truth as somehow dangerous to them.  The trick is to make it more advantageous to tell the truth then it is to lie, without letting them get away with anything either. One approach that I have used with some success is to have levels of punishment, so that if they do something wrong but admit to it, the punishment is less than if they try to lie and cover it up.

Good Luck!

-Jaderica

 

 good points

bleumonster
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 2:18 PM

Is he lying to get out of trouble or just for the fun of it? If he is lying to get out of trouble then punishing double when you catch him in a lie helps. Also when it is a case of him against someone else, sadly tell him you just can't believe him because you know he lies. That's what finally worked with my son.

If he lies for the fun of it or says he is "just tricking you" then its a little harder but refusing to believe him no matter what he says can help in that situation too. My son lied for both reasons and held on the the "just tricking you" sort of lying longer. It got so bad that if he said it was raining, I went and found a window LOL.

MZ.ZAPATA1015
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 2:23 PM

 I thought it was only my kids...lol i have 13,10,9,and 8 yr old they all lie except my 10 yr old hell just tell u he did it and except it but id like to know what to do to stop it....

M4LG5
by Gold Member on Jun. 27, 2010 at 2:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe start off conversations with, "okay, you will not get in trouble if you tell me the truth.  I'd rather hear the truth from you then you lie to me.  If you lie, you won't be able to do_______ as a consequence.  So, tell me the truth and we can talk about it."

If you do feel that there should be a consequence then maybe the consequence for telling the truth is smaller. 

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