Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want nice people in my life!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:36 AM
  • 12 Replies

I have noticed that I find it hard sometimes to find people that are conscientous of others' feelings. Sometimes I just want to stay home, or not talk to people, or try to make new friends other than the ones I have because I feel like a lot of people can be very abrasive and downright mean. Does anyone else feel this way or have this problem? How do you handle it? I have a great home/family life and I am very happy..this has just been on my mind lately.

Have a fabulous Monday!

   ~*Mommy of a Knight in Shining Armor*~

recycling sweetpeabaseballboy kissing mom

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:36 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:49 AM

I think nice people are everywhere. You just have to focus on the positive in people and not the negative. And some people are more sensitive than others so no matter what is said, there are some that read into something someone says and makes it into something it is not... that make sense?

Mommy_Giggles
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:54 AM


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

I think nice people are everywhere. You just have to focus on the positive in people and not the negative. And some people are more sensitive than others so no matter what is said, there are some that read into something someone says and makes it into something it is not... that make sense?


I know what you're saying, and I do know that I am sensitive, but I have come across some people recently, in different situations, that just do not care whose feelings they hurt. I'm not sure how to find positive in those people at this time.

Thanks for the ideas :)

   ~*Mommy of a Knight in Shining Armor*~

recycling sweetpeabaseballboy kissing mom

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:06 AM

 

Quoting Mommy_Giggles:

 

Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

I think nice people are everywhere. You just have to focus on the positive in people and not the negative. And some people are more sensitive than others so no matter what is said, there are some that read into something someone says and makes it into something it is not... that make sense?


I know what you're saying, and I do know that I am sensitive, but I have come across some people recently, in different situations, that just do not care whose feelings they hurt. I'm not sure how to find positive in those people at this time.

Thanks for the ideas :)

The positive way of dealing with them is by thinking "they don't know any better" or don't know how to communicate effectively. And rise above them and don't let what they say affect how YOU feel. Only YOU have control of your feelings. By becoming upset by them you give THEM the power over you and your feelings. They probably don't even know how abrasive and brash they come across. Even a simple "why do you say that" or "that hurts my feelings to hear you say that" brings the focus back to them.... even rephasing it in a non-harsh way and asking if that is what they mean, will call attention to it, and they may say "yes, that is what I meant".

If all else fails.... you don't need to be friends with them, per se... but you do need to learn to deal with people you feel are "jerks".  Worse comes to worse, you can pray and "bless them".

BTW- as you get older (I see you are in your 20s), you learn not to take people and what they say so seriously. It gets easier. You learn that life is getting shorter and it is not worth it to carry grudges against someone. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts you. Forgive and move on.
 

texasmom1800
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:16 AM

 It seems that way to me also.  Anymore you are criticized for having a different opinion than other.  It's easier to just not talk to new people than to make the effort sometimes.

inkkedup
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:19 AM

This is why I've always chosen to be a loner.  I have "aquaintances" but no CLOSE friends.  The one friend I DID have (of 23 years) basically jumped my case because of a decision I had made that SHE didn't like.  Once I got to thinking about it, really thinking, I realized that she had practically down talked me the entire 23 years.  Now I stay guarded at all times and I don't let anyone to close.

Positive people are out there, I believe......Sometimes people talk before they think and don't realize how their words effect the other person.  And then again sometimes they just don't give a rat's ass.  I wouldn't necessarily go out looking for friends.... friends are made when you least expect it.  God always puts those in your path in which He thinks you will benefit from....whether it be good or bad.

Good luck

 

Momforhealth
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:39 AM

I agree with all the comments above.  I feel alot like you because I am very sensitive too.  I have to question myself ALOT though too...could I be one taking it negatively?  There is an old book called "How to be your own Best Friend"  Once we have our own thoughts down then no one can make you feel bad without your permission. :)

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM

You also have to realize that you often tell people how to treat you.  If you are always down on yourself and putting yourself last, then that is how your friends will treat you as well.  I know that it is hard to be nice and friendly all the time, but you really do get back what you put out.  I'm not saying that you aren't friendly just reminding you to keep that smile on your face.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:50 AM


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

 

Quoting Mommy_Giggles:

 

Quoting mom22tumblebugs:


 

BTW- as you get older (I see you are in your 20s), you learn not to take people and what they say so seriously. It gets easier. You learn that life is getting shorter and it is not worth it to carry grudges against someone. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts you. Forgive and move on.
 

This is very true, I used to be easily offened when I was in my 20's and now that I'm in my late 30's, it's not as big of a deal anymore.  My relationship with my MIL has improved greatly as I have gotten older, and I really really hated her and so wanted to beat the crap out of her on more than one occasion - what a difference 10 or so years makes.

Mom of two boys ages 9 1/2 (going into 4th grade) and 6 1/2 (going into 1st grade)




IloveBilly
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:59 AM

I for one am a very nice person but I know what you mean! I have ran into a lot of people who are not conscientious of anyones feelings but their own!! But there are people out there who are nice like we are.......they may just be keeping their guards up to cause of the same reason you are! But not everyone is bad!! It just seems like that sometimes!!!

chris13
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:11 AM

 the negative people are just more abrasive and tend to linger in our thoughts, but try to remember the positive polite people. i get disgusted with some people i encounter on a daily basis, then suddenly there is the bright happy person and it lifts my mood tremendously. i try to be the bright and happy to others too.

and trust me, working in a pharmacy i encounter some gems, then wonder if they have mental issues.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)