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Showering with your kids

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 1:42 AM
  • 47 Replies

Today my 6 and a half year old step son told me that he and his brother take showers with his mom. He then went on to describe all her private parts to me.  I asked him if he showered with his step dad and he said no, because he was always staring at his penis and his step dad didn't like that.  I don't know if this is something to be concerned about or not.  Do you think that it is okay for a child over the age of about 5/6 to shower/bathe with the opposite sex parent?

Married (29), SS6, no bio kids
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 1:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jjzj82
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:04 AM
I personally dont think a child at any age should shower with a parent. But i have issues stemming from my childhood that make me extra cautious about stuff like this. My girls have never took a shower with me and theres no way i would allow them to shower with dh. But like i said i have issues so im not really the right person to answer this.
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tawana12
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 2:54 AM

I think that I am extra sensitive to this issue for the same reasons. 

mama2evan
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 4:34 AM
I don't think its right. Once they're that age they can shower alone. I did a cpl times when he was a baby but that was multitasking lol. Sum ppl see it as ok. I wouldn't impress on him that its wrong or he may develope a complex later in life. Maybe occasionally bring it up n make sure thers no imappropriate touching?
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lewseatea
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 4:52 AM

I'm a single mom to two boys, ages 5 and 8.  I'm pretty open about nudity.  I don't cover up in front of my kids.  But, I don't invite them into the shower with me either.  I have showered with them in locker rooms at the gym before and after swimming.  And I think it took a couple showers with me to convice my older son that showers aren't scary.  My younger son still won't take them. 

I don't think I would tell my kids no if they asked to get in the shower while I was in there, though.  I would just quickly finish up with them in there, then get out.  My boys do know not to touch others' private parts and that other people should not be touching theirs.

I have told them no hopping into the bath tub with me.  That's a little too close for my comfort.   

aehanrahan
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 5:31 AM
I have showered/bathed with both of my boys. I stopped with Andrew once he was old enough to wash himself. I think he was about 5. I just took a shower with Johnathan last night. We were home alone and I was desperate for a shower. He's 2 1/2. I loved taking them into the bath when they were little babies.
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tawana12
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 7:30 AM


Quoting lewseatea:

I'm a single mom to two boys, ages 5 and 8.  I'm pretty open about nudity.  I don't cover up in front of my kids.  But, I don't invite them into the shower with me either.  I have showered with them in locker rooms at the gym before and after swimming.  And I think it took a couple showers with me to convice my older son that showers aren't scary.  My younger son still won't take them. 

I don't think I would tell my kids no if they asked to get in the shower while I was in there, though.  I would just quickly finish up with them in there, then get out.  My boys do know not to touch others' private parts and that other people should not be touching theirs.

I have told them no hopping into the bath tub with me.  That's a little too close for my comfort.   

The other problem I have is that since I am not open about nudity in front of my SS (don't need Child Welfare crawling up my behind as a step mom), he is always trying to spy on my dad and I to catch a glimpse.  My SS has also copped to spying on his step dad, so I'm getting the feeling that this is not a healthy thing to do. 

Since you are the only caregiver, I can understand your situation, but I am the step mom and I know that if I did it, I would be on Nancy Grace in a heartbeat. I also think that since you are a mom, society views it as more acceptable.  If a dad bathed with his 6 year old daughter, can you imagine what would happen to him?

Married (29), SS6, no bio kids
texasmom1800
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:41 AM

 It all depends on the parents and the kid.  In our house modesty doesn't matter much.  I stopped showering with my son when he was 5, but that's because I wanted him to learn how to do it independently.  He's 8 now and see me naked at times and it's just no big deal.  To me if you try to hide the body from kids it just makes them more interested in it.

AuntieV
by Bronze Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:01 AM

Once a child is old enough to wash themselves I do not think it is necessary to be in the shower or tub with them. I do feel that it is OK to be in the bathroom with them to supervise though. When the kids were young I gave them the soap and wash cloth then told them what to wash next. When they were learning how to shampoo their own hair I checked to make sure all of the shampoo was rinsed out but gave them a small towel to cover their private parts.

Even as teens the same sex parent checked the kids for ticks after a camping trip.


momto3infl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:12 AM

 I had my kids do it every so often because it was easier (than 5 seperate showers-just have 2) and also because they would ask.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:45 AM

 I think that once a child can wash him/her self they should be given privacy in the bathroom.  I just don't see a good, logical reason for an adult to be showering with a 6.5 year old. 

Does your husband, the boy's father know about the shower situation?  Maybe this is something that he can discuss with bio mom in a civilized manor.

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