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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Why is my child so RUDE?!?!

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2010 at 8:52 PM
  • 9 Replies

My daughter...shes almost 8...has got to be the rudest child I have ever seen...and I don't know how to stop it.   We had back to school night.  Many of the teachers...art, music...she has had for 3 years and she knows them.  They were all talking to her...and saying Hi...she never responded...she just stared at the ground.  A little friend said she had on a cute shirt.  Nothing...she ignored her.  And...shes like this with everyone.  She booed people at a graduation we went to...told my friend she had yellow teeth...when people say hi she ignores them..even if I stop her and tell er to say something...she refuses.  She wont say thank you unless I tell her to..and then she says it half ass.  I could go on and on and on...  My daughter has very pretty eyes...and her whole life people have gone on and on about them.  People tell her how pretty they are several times a day if we go out...no kidding  I honestly think this has gone to her head and shes stuck up.  I have not raised her to act like this...and I would really appreciate any advice on how to get her back on the right track.  Thanks...

by on Aug. 10, 2010 at 8:52 PM
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Replies (1-9):
NananRaysmom
by Member on Aug. 10, 2010 at 8:54 PM

Wanted to add...she is NOT shy.  When she feels like it...she is the most outgoing child there is.  Shes fun..and talks...but, more often shes just plain rude.

othermom
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2010 at 9:19 PM

My son is like that too. He has always been shy, but it is ridiculous sometimes. He refuses to say hi to kids and family. He has been told if he doesn't he loses all tv and video games for a certain number of days. He has gotten a little better. what is funny is if we are not around he will talk to the other kids and family just fine.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Aug. 10, 2010 at 9:40 PM

 I was going to suggest having an incentive in place for her to be polite and address people when they speak to her.  At 8 years old, she should be able to understand that it is rude and she should also be able to respond appropriately without being asked.

Aurorasmom
by on Aug. 10, 2010 at 11:15 PM

i think she is old enough to be rude back to her.  show her how awful it feels to be on the receiving end.  good luck!

rkoloms
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 5:23 AM

Has your daughter always been like this, or is this new behavior. This does not sound like run­­-of-the­-mill, 8 year old obnoxiousness. From the little you have told us, it sound to me like your daughter is depressed. This could have a physiological origin, like a magnesium deficiency; or this could have an emotional root, requiring therapy

Robin in Chicago

sweetmelissa77
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 7:28 AM

My 8 year old son goes through phases like this. He went through it several months ago around last Christmas & has been going through it again this summer. I DO think it's partially contributed to age. An 8 yr old is at that weird place between being a "little kid" and a "big kid". They are on the upward crawl toward puberty & in many cases may have some initial hormones start surging (especially in the case of girls). Being that is the case, they may try to test their boundaries (much in the same way as toddler do) for their new phase in life (adolescence).

With my son, I keep the same boundaries I always have being sure to enforcethe  rules when it comes to his rude behavior. I also think it's VERY important to try to teach him kindness & gentleness so it becomes an inate response instead of the rude one. I have him give away old toys, books & clothing to charities. Every holiday we buy a toy for Toys & Tots that he picks out & helps pay for with his own allowance. When we are at the grocery store, we help an older person bag their groceries or put their cart away. Basically, we try to practice random acts of kindess whenever we can. The world is so full of hatred & ugliness and I try very hard to teach my kids to spread kindess instead.

Hang in there! I know it's a rough phase! But you will make it through it!

Houndz
by on Aug. 11, 2010 at 8:05 AM


Quoting NananRaysmom:

My daughter has very pretty eyes...and her whole life people have gone on and on about them.  People tell her how pretty they are several times a day if we go out...no kidding  I honestly think this has gone to her head and shes stuck up.  I have not raised her to act like this...and I would really appreciate any advice on how to get her back on the right track.  Thanks...


 

I would not take her as being stuck up as a result of this.  She may just be sick and tired of being made the center of attention and if she is shy all the "going on and on" about her may be painful for her.  My dd spent alot of toddler time at my parents elderly highrise and I love to dress her up.  She is forever getting fawned over for how cute she looks, or how cute her outfit is.  Last year with Kindergarten it hit peak after I bought her a pair of those Lellie Kellie shoes.  Those sparkly shoes called way too much unwelcome attention to her at school and my parents. After that she started this routine where she would get downright made as hell if anyone said the word "cute" to her and refused to wear those shoes.  When I asked her why she was getting so mad it was revealed she simply hated the attention. 

With the other behavior, when my dd doesn't respond appropriately I try to nip it in the bud by callign her on it right when it happens, tell her what is expected and remind her that rudeness hurts peoples feelings. Its complex for kids to "get" but sometimes you have to let them know they have to put their feelings/comforts/boredom aside for the sake of other's feelings. 

       briefcasegirl on a swingpuppy


       Marjie          Rosemary      Winnie


Mommy to Rosemary 5 years old ~~ Best Friend to Winnie the Basset Hound


Mom to Quads: Joseph, Patrick. Mairead & Roisin (Born Too Soon ~ Remembered Always)

NananRaysmom
by Member on Aug. 11, 2010 at 6:53 PM

Thanks for the replies!

This has been on and off for her.  She started as an overly spoiled child.  Anything she wanted...she got.  We noticed er getting VERY unappreciative and I restricted her to only get stuff on birthdays and X-mas.  But, her dad still buys her random stuff.  This is also a huge problem.  But, the complete rudeness has been the last year or so.  I am going to enroll her in a manners class in our area.  I was rude to her last night.  I would ignore her and look away when she was talking to me...I don't know how much it really helped.  I wanted her to know what it felt like.  I will talk to her doctor about it.  I know she doesn't eat good...and shes also VERY emotional.  She cries at the drop of a hat.  I though it could be because her dad and I separated...he worked evenings..me days...so she was with him every day..  But, he is very active with them...and we see him all the time...so I really dont know...

rkoloms
by on Aug. 12, 2010 at 5:39 AM


Quoting NananRaysmom:

Thanks for the replies!

This has been on and off for her.  She started as an overly spoiled child.  Anything she wanted...she got.  We noticed er getting VERY unappreciative and I restricted her to only get stuff on birthdays and X-mas.  But, her dad still buys her random stuff.  This is also a huge problem.  But, the complete rudeness has been the last year or so.  I am going to enroll her in a manners class in our area.  I was rude to her last night.  I would ignore her and look away when she was talking to me...I don't know how much it really helped.  I wanted her to know what it felt like.  I will talk to her doctor about it.  I know she doesn't eat good...and shes also VERY emotional.  She cries at the drop of a hat.  I though it could be because her dad and I separated...he worked evenings..me days...so she was with him every day..  But, he is very active with them...and we see him all the time...so I really dont know...


The emotions can also be due to hormones. If you have not already done so, start having regular conversations about the changes going on inside here body, that will soon be visible. Make sure that she understands that her mood swings are normal

Robin in Chicago

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