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My first look at bullying.

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:54 AM
  • 15 Replies

I went by my daughter's old school and while she was visiting with her friends I was sitting at one of the tables with a teacher(helper) this cute little boy came over (maybe in 4th grade) and showed me his trophy and his medals. 

Then these girls came over (two) and just started talking nasty to him.  He was defending himself but you can tell it was getting to him.  I was shocked and mad I didn't say anything, I figured the teacher would since she was sitting right there and I was just there visiting.  Everything was going through my mind like "maybe this boy bullies other kids and he is just getting a taste of his own medicine" .  But seeing his reaction I don't think so.  But I will never again let that occur around me...I don't care where I am at.

It saddened me for two reasons.  One, because I was constantly picked on by my peers when I was in school Elementary - High School, because I was taught "JUST IGNORE" and two, that this is what my daughter may have to endure. 

Has anyone every experienced there child being bullied.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 11:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sahlady
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:24 PM

 I dont believe in "just ignore it" if you dont teach your kid to face a pita kid head on and stand up for him/her self they will always be the target. 

We have delt with pita kids twice and both times we told our kid that if they choose to do nothing then they are allowing it to happen.

One of our kids chose to talk back and the kid kept bugging him to the point of making physical contact.  Our son hauled off and hit the kid back.  It NEVER took place again.

Our daughter had a pita kid pull that girly crap and try to get everyone against her.  She walked up got RIGHT in her face and told her off good, in front of every one.  It NEVER happened again.  And actually the next year when my daughter was getting bar/bat mitzvah invitations on a regular basis this girl tried to befriend her to get into HER group.  LMBO!

Point is we have to go old school and teach our kids not to put up with this shit.  (although you were in a place where it wasnt your kid - however, I would have put those little twits in their place... I wouldnt have waited for a teacher.)

soymujer
by Mikki on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:28 PM

I found out from my oldest that my middle son confided in him that he was being bullied at school...I was mad that neither one had told me about it until way after the fact...

family in the van   Mom of four


mommy1girl2boys
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:35 PM

yes my middle son got his eye lashes cut off with scissors when he was in kindergarten, He was so scared that he did not tell me or the teacher. I only noticed cuz he has super long eyelashes and they were all different lengths 

LoriBMom03
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:19 PM

I teach my children to confront the child bullying them.  They don't have to be nasty about it, just simply say, "stop!" Loud enough for everyone to hear.  If I'd have been sitting there, I would've said something to those girls.  I can't stand for kids to bully others - anyone, my kids or not!

ooksanab25
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:38 PM

our school has a really strict no bullying policy and so far (my daughter is in second grade) we had no problems .Unless there is something I don't know about.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:39 PM

 If I am there and another child is being a bully, I put a stop to it. THEN I alert the teacher of the behavior I witnessed. I let that child know how hurtful what they are saying is and it isn't acceptable, and I make them apologize for their behavior.

DakotaRose
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 1:47 PM

 My now 15 year old daughter. She had a dedicated group of bullies from the 3rd grade to 8th. They were horrible to her and the school did nothing. In 8th grade it came to a point where one had grabbed her backpack and threw her backwards,<nothing done to stop it, it was escalating fast because the schools did nothing> the last straw for me was a group of girls sprayed her with a body spray that gave her such a severe sinus infection, she was home for a week on meds, her temp topped out at 107.3. Her dad and I took turns dragging her to the shower to help keep it down. I walked into the school and let them know if ANYTHING, even a look happened to my daughter again, I would be showing up with a lawyer and the police. One incident after that was a girl slapped my daughters face, she ended up serving a month in juvi on assault charges and 1 year probation. Finally the schools are taking me seriously on all this and we have been issue free for 2 years.

Mavanna
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:11 PM

I have learned one thing from being bullied almost all my school life.....Most teachers and schools will do nothing until you are in real danger of hospitalization.....

Unfortunately this is what I gathered in my experience with bullies following the ignore it or tell method, it stopped when I fought back then I got in trouble.

So my kids know to fight back rather than take it

firsttimemom496
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:25 PM

Oh my goodness these are some amazing stories...thank you so much for everyone's feedback...I do feel guilty not saying anything but next time I will....

So in saying all of this does anyone fault the father that came on the bus to defend his daughter for bullying.  For those of you who have not heard it on the news I can elaborate.

fiddymommy
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:32 PM

I have taught my kids to walk away and ignore them when they are saying negative things to them because confronting the bully only gives them more amunition to keep picking.I have also told them that if it continues to yell stop really loud to get everyone's attention and then to find the nearest trusting adult.

I attended a class this summer on bullying and one of the first things they said was that confronting the bully head on will only make matters worse. They teach the children to tell the bully STOP in a loud voice then walk away and to quietly go tell the nearest adult. But they also teach other kids that may witness the bullying to tell the bully to stop and to go to an adult for help.

It is very important for parents to have good communication with their children, so then the children will feel comfortable coming to you about a situation like this. And then as a parent and advocate for your child you can go to the teacher or principal and bring this to their attention. Sometimes children are too afraid and embarrassed  to tell.

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