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Annoying

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:22 AM
  • 14 Replies

Would this annoy you? My daughter will be in middle school. I'm barely prepared for that but I know I can't stop her from growing up and it has to happen. Ha ha ha!!! My problem is that whenever the subject of her going to middle school comes up in front of my mother-in-law she feels the need to tell my daughter that she is going to buy her a cellphone. She hasn't asked us anything about it. She just keeps telling her that she is going to get her one like it's just okay and on top of that she keeps saying she wants to take my daughter to the beauty salon too. Now I'm not a person who goes to the salon but I do have the vision of taking my daughter for the first time although I haven't brought this up to anyone. I know neither of these can happen without my husband's or my permission but it is still annoying. As far as the salon thing I don't think that she thinks I want to do it cause I am not the type to go to the salon but I really do. I just don't like for her to tell my kids she is going to do anything w/o talking to us first. Honestly when she does that it just reminds me of how she took my daughter's first baby pictures w/o our permission because she said she didn't think we were going to do it cause my daughter was 8 months and hadn't taken any. I think if I did bring up the salon thing that she would think I was just saying I wanted to do it to prevent her from doing it but I wouldn't be.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
auroragold
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:29 AM

 Yeah - I'd be annoyed

caitsmomma
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:29 AM

Oh that is annoying. Can you sit down with her and tell her that you wish she would run things by you 1st?

orcadarwin
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:32 AM

Yeah, it's annoying.  My mother-in-law did something similar, until I finally told her about it.  My husband's cousin was getting married and wanted our son in her wedding.  He was about 2 at the time.  Well, the cousin and her mom talked with my mother-in-law about him being in the wedding, and they even bought him a suit to wear.  Not once did they ask me or my husband if we were okay with him being in the wedding.  I finally said something about it and the next day, the cousin and her mom both came up to me and apologized and then asked me if it would be okay.  I didn't have a problem with our son being in the wedding, just that they didn't talk to me or my husband about it.  

k481gil
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:58 AM

She has been like that for the longest and for the most part I try to ignore it because the final decision is mine and my husband's no matter how she's try to put it. It just gets annoying especially with this situationin what I feel are two major decisions. We've tried talking to her about it but she doesn't listen. She even tried to tell me she was going to take me to get a pap smear and I told her she wasn't going to do it. Of course she got mad but oh well. She always gets mad when we don't let her do what she wants

jennbec1
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:11 AM

 I'd be annoyed too. And i would shut down both ideas with a quickness. I'd have no problem telling her that I would be taking her to the salon for the first time and that if she wants to get her a cell then the discussion needs to happen with me before it gets brought up.

Cindy18
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:38 AM
I would be more upset about the cell phone. I have strong beliefs against kids having phones. The salon thing , IDK, like you said she would have no idea that you would want to do this because it's not something you do. JMHO, maybe you should let her do that first with grandma and it can be their "thing" to do. Some grandma/granddaughter bonding.
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k481gil
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 10:45 AM

 

Quoting Cindy18:

I would be more upset about the cell phone. I have strong beliefs against kids having phones. The salon thing , IDK, like you said she would have no idea that you would want to do this because it's not something you do. JMHO, maybe you should let her do that first with grandma and it can be their "thing" to do. Some grandma/granddaughter bonding.

 

It's something I really want to do and my biggest fear is that she will do something we don't approve of we don't want my daughter to get her hair cut or to get a perm and my mother-in-law has a hard time dealing with boundaries. She's thinks she knows best.

bupkie
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 10:58 AM

You really do need to talk to grandma and set boundaries.. Grandma seems to have control issues she needs to deal with.   In addition, her bringing up things before talking them over with you and DH, can really cause rifts in the future... especially if something comes up that she wants to get for DD, that is out of the question, then Grandma makes you look like the bad guy.... and grandma pitts you against DD.... 

(Not saying that is going to happen.... Since I don't know your MIL... but ... I wouldn't put it beyond anyone with Control issues....)    Just putting it out there for something to keep in mind and avoid in the future... 

2cuddlebabies
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 11:09 AM
I would be very annoyed!
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soymujer
by Mikki on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:37 PM

If something annoys me, I talk to the person about it so it wouldn't keep annoying me. 

family in the van   Mom of four


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