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How would you handle this??

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:14 PM
  • 11 Replies

So yesterday my son woke up telling me his throat was hurting but it didn't seem to bother him that much at that time so I told him if he wanted to go to school and if he didn't feel comfortable or it worsened to tell his teacher to send him to the nurse so I could pick him up (He did not have a fever).  Well he came home from school crying he said his ear was hurting so bad and the teacher did not send him to the nurse, he said he asked her and all she told him was just don't come to school tomorrow.  So obviously I had to take my son to emergency care bcuz he wouldn't stop crying from the pain and the DR looked in his ear and said his ear drum was about to burst from infection (he's had a cold) and put some ear drops and put him on antibiotics.  Of course I am furious that the teacher didn't send him to the nurse, it could've been worse and this isn't the first time she denies him something about 2 times my son came home with an "accident" bcuz his teacher didn't let him go use the bathroom to pee.  I don't know how to go about this but I know that something has to be said or it will continue, should I go to the principal or should I just talk to the teacher?? I've already told my son that from now when he needs to use the restroom and teacher says no to go ahead and go either way and if he gets in trouble they will have to talk to me! I am really upset as he is only in 1st grade and I think he feels helpless. 

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LadyLuxy
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:23 PM

First I would go to the teacher and explain exactly what the DR said about his ear and then ask her why she is denying his requests. She may have a decent excuse. I would then ask that she please start listening to him when he asks for something like the nurse or the bathroom. Hopefuly she will respond possitively to this but if not and she refuses I would then go to the principal. Do try to work it out with the teacher first though.

CrazedMomof2
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:24 PM

 I would have a talk with the teacher.

If it doesn't change, ask for a meeting with the principal.

Miranda1127
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:29 PM

 In first grade they should have some sort of schedule in place for potty time and what not. I would talk to the teacher to see why your son is having difficulty abiding by the schedule (or if there even is a 'fair' schedule in place). The nurse thing, there really is no excuse for a teacher to not send a 'hurt' child to the nurse. That seems ridiculous. I would still call her to get her side of the story, before I went elsewhere.

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:35 PM

 My first question to you is...Is there a Nurse at the school full time?

I ask this because my boys share a nurse.She jumps around all day to the 3-4 schools in out area. So she is not always available. And depending on the time asked she may not have been there and it was closer to him coming home.

So I would talk to the teacher and make sure to find out if the nurse is on hand all day or not.

caitsmomma
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 2:57 PM

I would definitely talk to the teacher. But dont go in ready to bash. Go in with openess. Then lay out all teh issues you have with what your son has been upset about. It maybe something you two can work out. 

I know that unless its an emergency, you dont use the bathroom during my dd's class. There are two scheduled bathroom breaks. 

Good Luck! I hope you get the answers you need. Im sorry your son is sick :(

StephanieSH
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:02 PM

I had similar bathroom issues with my son in second grade.  They were supposed to go at recess and lunch and if they didn't and had to go during class they had to sign a "poor choices" book and do the "walk of shame" (teacher's words) up the front of the classroom to sign it.  My son has some issue with self-regulation and we see a behaviorist.  I told my son that he will never get in trouble with me for using the restroom during class even if he gets in trouble with the teacher.  Not all kids learn good self regulation skills at the same age.

Sarlinda
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:03 PM


Quoting LadyLuxy:

First I would go to the teacher and explain exactly what the DR said about his ear and then ask her why she is denying his requests. She may have a decent excuse. I would then ask that she please start listening to him when he asks for something like the nurse or the bathroom. Hopefuly she will respond possitively to this but if not and she refuses I would then go to the principal. Do try to work it out with the teacher first though.

I totally agree.

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:05 PM

I asked my daughter when she is allowed to go to the bathroom. She said "not during a lesson". So perhaps when your son has asked in the past it was during a time the students were told they are not allowed to leave the room.

As for the ear infection, did you know he had an ear infection? If not, then how would a teacher? In a roomful of children, there seems to be all sorts of complaining. Sometimes it is hard for a teacher to discern when a child is really having a problem that needs medical attention from the nurse, versus one that isn't as severe. Unless you were there when he asked the teacher, you don't know what exactly your son's demeanor was, or what the class was doing at the time he asked. Sometimes you have to give the benefit of the doubt to the teacher first before taking your emotions out on the teacher for what you think is sheer neglect.

Now that you know he has an ear infection, give him his antibiotics and pain meds. Maybe even keep him home tomorrow so you can give his tylenol regularly.

 

 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:11 PM

 This is something that needs to be brought up with the teacher first like the other ladies said.

From experience, my youngest son has had his ear drum rupture 2 or 3 times and it is actually not that bad.  The pain stops as soon as the ear drum ruptures.  A little fluid will come out, but it will feel 10000% better since there isn't all that fluid trapped back there pressing on the ear drum.

adry20
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:36 PM
I know she knew he was in pain bcuz she took the time to write me a note telling me he kept complaining that his ear was hurting! Now I wanna know why he wasnt sent to the nurse, they do have a full time nurse but I also agree she may have an explanation.


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

I asked my daughter when she is allowed to go to the bathroom. She said "not during a lesson". So perhaps when your son has asked in the past it was during a time the students were told they are not allowed to leave the room.


As for the ear infection, did you know he had an ear infection? If not, then how would a teacher? In a roomful of children, there seems to be all sorts of complaining. Sometimes it is hard for a teacher to discern when a child is really having a problem that needs medical attention from the nurse, versus one that isn't as severe. Unless you were there when he asked the teacher, you don't know what exactly your son's demeanor was, or what the class was doing at the time he asked. Sometimes you have to give the benefit of the doubt to the teacher first before taking your emotions out on the teacher for what you think is sheer neglect.


Now that you know he has an ear infection, give him his antibiotics and pain meds. Maybe even keep him home tomorrow so you can give his tylenol regularly.


 


 


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