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My daughter and her hormones are about to kill me

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:36 AM
  • 22 Replies

My 9.5 started puberty about 2 years ago. It started with severe acne and her little buttons. Now she's acting like she is pms-ing bad. I bought her a pair of shorts for summer and Saturday morning I wanted her to try them on in case they didn't fit. It was a meltdown. She did NOT want to put them on. She bawled and screamed like a baby not getting a toy at the store or something.  The last 6 months or so she has really been trying my patience with her whiny attitude. She's mean to her brother and sister, stays in her room, throws a fit when we make her do something. Just something simple like going grocery shopping she starts crying. I don't know what to do. I'm at my wits end. I know it's hormones but I'm not ready for all this. Anyone have any advice?

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
auroragold
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:40 AM

 Cranky is understandable and hey, it happens to all of us.

But we still have to follow rules and act decent. So address her BEHAVIOR and ignore whether it's "hormones or not".  Don't give her an inch for an excuse.  

You do NOT act like that in public or XYZ will happen. 

THese are the expectations for chores. Period. If you'd like to discuss other options, it will be done when you are not screaming.

Etc.

 

jenn1172
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:44 AM

I don't have any advice, but would love to hear some because I have the same problems!

Jess1231
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:51 AM
I agree! Definitely address it now or it will keep getting worse.

Quoting auroragold:

 Cranky is understandable and hey, it happens to all of us.


But we still have to follow rules and act decent. So address her BEHAVIOR and ignore whether it's "hormones or not".  Don't give her an inch for an excuse.  


You do NOT act like that in public or XYZ will happen. 


THese are the expectations for chores. Period. If you'd like to discuss other options, it will be done when you are not screaming.


Etc.


 

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menmy2lilmen
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:51 AM

I agree with aurora on this. Also its not just girls and their hormones on this. Or at least I do not think so. My son is having burst of crying and fit throwing lately too. I just have told him what I expect from him and what will not be allowed.

Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:53 AM

I agre with this.  I would also acknowledge that it's hard when we're tired or whatever to stay in a good mood, but we still have to try to be civil....

Quoting auroragold:

 Cranky is understandable and hey, it happens to all of us.

But we still have to follow rules and act decent. So address her BEHAVIOR and ignore whether it's "hormones or not".  Don't give her an inch for an excuse.  

You do NOT act like that in public or XYZ will happen. 

THese are the expectations for chores. Period. If you'd like to discuss other options, it will be done when you are not screaming.

Etc.

 



auroragold
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:57 AM

 Here's one way to think about it:

 

would you allow her to treat her teachers or other adults as she treats you?

I'm guessing that the answer is NO, of course not.  So then, why tolerate the behavior toward you and the family?

anna_mccall
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:04 AM

I threatened to put her in her room for the day without any tv or anything and she shut up. I just have this feeling AF is coming soon for her and I'm not ready for it.

Quoting auroragold:

 Here's one way to think about it:

 

would you allow her to treat her teachers or other adults as she treats you?

I'm guessing that the answer is NO, of course not.  So then, why tolerate the behavior toward you and the family?


auroragold
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:07 AM

 I feel ya mama. I'm not ready for DD to get AF either.

But we can't stop it can we?

Right now, my DD just goes on crying jags for no known reason. I feel badly for her.

 

anna_mccall
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:11 AM

nope can't stop it, lol. I wish there was something I could give her to make her feel better.

Quoting auroragold:

 I feel ya mama. I'm not ready for DD to get AF either.

But we can't stop it can we?

Right now, my DD just goes on crying jags for no known reason. I feel badly for her.

 


craftmom5
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:26 AM

I feel your pain. My hubby feels that PMS starts at age 2. Our experience is that both my 14 and my 7 year old have horrendous days 5 days out of the month. It is usually a cycle. The meltdowns start and we check to see what week it is.As for the whinning. I think it may be a 9 year old thing. My nieces, nephews, my 14 year old when she was 9 and now my 9 year old son went through it. It drove us nuts and since I had my kids later than my  siblings I was glad when neices and nephews went home. Now Dane my 9 year old is easing up on the whinning. It seems that every 6 months kids grow  up a little more. His whinning has decreased but also he has been doing a lot of growing. So a lot of eating. I am thinking that his whinning and meltdowns are usually 3 things at the same time-1. Hunger. 2. Tired 3. Bored. We have been trying to give him a little  more attention and  stocking the house.lol. But I stopped taking my kids to the store. Except if it's clothes shopping, but we try to be fruggle so clothes shopping is usually at a Thrift Store. Which my kids love. I go grocery shopping when the kids are in school to avoid the begging and whinning. Sometimes I feel like I have raised spoiled children, maybe I have. But I tell them constantly that if they whine no more trip with Mom to the store and if that doesn't help their room is the safe zone.

 Is there something maybe bothering  her? We asked the school to have my 9 year old and my 14 year have an adult to talk to. It seems to be helping. My kids don't say much to me but will talk to the adult councelor at school. Although they don't tell me what is bothering my kids, it seems to help them open up more.

I am sorry to say that I think it's a stage. Hang in there. I hope I helped a little.

Best Wishes. from Teri

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