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Can moms with radically different parenting styles remain friends?

Posted by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:31 AM
  • 16 Replies


We all have our own parenting style, be it helicopter mom, tiger mom, or something else, right?  We do what feels right for our family.  But what if your best friend has a completely different parenting style?  Can you still be friends?  Is agreeing to disagree the way to go, or do you need to seek out mommy friends who have similar styles to your own?

I found this blog post really, really interesting and it made me realize that I do have several mom friends who have completely different styles than my own and I'm okay with it!  While I don't think we have fundamentally different thinking, we do have different ways to go about things.  Different rules, different discipline styles, etc.

What do you think? Are your mommy friends similar in style to your own or do you enjoy your differences?

by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
rwklk
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:40 AM

 I have several friends that are really different in their parenting, I think the main thing is that no one tries to change or judge each other for the way they go about doing anything & all the kids are safe, happy & healthy

endurablemist
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:43 AM

I have a few friends that are close, and we all differ in our parenting styles, we just agree to disagree. Its never been a major problem. We all have the same morals, and want the same thing for our children, just go about getting them there a little differently.

kellysp6637
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 7:44 AM

 I think they can be......unless of course that radical difference is abusive or borders on abuse....

I'm a very strict, to the point parent.  I love my children fiercely but believe heavily in consequences and owning up to your mistakes and personal responsibility.

My friend on the other hand is very laid back, loves her children, but coddles them, and isn't big on personal responsibility.

I still love being around her, but she disapproves of my parenting and I on her parenting.....however, we don't try to change each other's and can still enjoy a friendship.

Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:10 AM

Yes - my 2 closest friends and I have VERY different parenting styles.

Leads to some interesting conversations, but we are all very close friends.

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:12 AM

 In the real world? absolutly  On CM? No way

I wonder about some of the moms with super strong views on here. How do they get along with other moms IRL? Do they only have friends that think just like them or do they just save the ranting and raving for the Internet?

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:17 AM

 

On of my best friends is so overprotective I think she's actually stunting her son's development. She put him in day care for socialization and requested he be in the class with the babies because she though kids his age (almost 2) might play too rough. She still cuts up all of his food into microscopic pieces so he doesn't know how chew things correctly. She keeps him in his stroller all the time when they go out because she's afraid of germs.

I care about her son and it's to the point where I'm getting concerned. He's developmentally behind and I think part of the reason is that she doesn't let him do anything or try anything. But I know if I want to maintain our friendship I have to be careful. So I make a point not to say anything unless she brings it up.

Jess1231
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Yes they can be friends. Alot of people I know have different styles but it really doesn't come up much in our conversations.
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Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:19 AM

Wow - that is extreme....

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

 

On of my best friends is so overprotective I think she's actually stunting her son's development. She put him in day care for socialization and requested he be in the class with the babies because she though kids his age (almost 2) might play too rough. She still cuts up all of his food into microscopic pieces so he doesn't know how chew things correctly. She keeps him in his stroller all the time when they go out because she's afraid of germs.


maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:20 AM

 I don't know why, but she is terrified that he'll get hurt or sick.

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Wow - that is extreme....

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

 

On of my best friends is so overprotective I think she's actually stunting her son's development. She put him in day care for socialization and requested he be in the class with the babies because she though kids his age (almost 2) might play too rough. She still cuts up all of his food into microscopic pieces so he doesn't know how chew things correctly. She keeps him in his stroller all the time when they go out because she's afraid of germs.

 

 

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 4, 2011 at 9:30 AM

 All of my close friends have similar parenting styles to mine.  I know people whose parenting styles are drastically different, but we aren't good friends and I don't think that we could be.  In my group of friends we freely discipline each other's kids, the closest parent handles it, and there is never any issue.  I couldn't imagine doing that with someone whose philosophy was so different than mine.

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