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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Teacher Woes... need advice.

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:18 PM
  • 13 Replies

 My son is in third grade, and absolutely hates his teacher. I have never had any problems with any other teachers. We have loved them all.

He is miserable every day when he comes home from school. He says that she is hateful and is a yeller.  That she talks mean to him and he believes truly that she doesnt like him. I brushed it off at first as, this is a new grade and a new face, and she may just be different than the rest. But then came the snack issue.

First, my son was looking at the wrong page in a book so she told him he couldnt have snack for the rest of the year. She took his snack. Now, if this were me, being as the times are as hard as they are, I would have made my student put the snack up if I was going to take it away. She threw it in the garbage. I dont know about anyone else, but this made me furious. We arent on any kind of assistance, so she is pretty much throwing my cash in the trash. My dh and I both took pay cuts, hour cuts, to keep our jobs. This is unacceptable to me.

I tried to bring this up at a parent teacher conference, but the woman seriously couldnt shut up long enough to hear me talk. She is very abrasive and loud. I dont like her either!! i dont know what it is about her, she just hits me the wrong way if you know what I mean.

Then came the project. She claimed to have sent home  a packet about a poster ds was supposed to make. I NEVER received it. As soon as I got a memo project due such and such, I went into panic mode. I reminded ds to ask her about getting a copy of the papers she supposedly sent home. She said, and ds quotes: "You expect me to give you a fact sheet this late?!" and wouldnt give him one. So I wrote a note to her, saying we really dont want a zero or an incomplete. She sent the info home with a very abrasive note. Ds said she was hateful all day after reading my note, and I was very nice with her in it so theres no excuse there.

Ds wants to switch to another classroom. I dont even know how to begin to ask this. I know I should probably start with the principal... would you switch your kids? Or would you give her some more time to let them get to know each other? Does it matter that its so early in the school year, or does that actually make it easier? Does anyone have any experiences with having to switch their kids' teachers? I have heard that sometimes they dont have a good fit. I am just worried about the whole situation. And my ds is so unhappy about the whole thing.

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by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
smartfish
by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 I wiould talk to the principal and the teacher togeather! (the teacher will hate that but she needs to see what she is doing is wrong) the explain to both of them why you want your son moved to a new classroom, they should honor the request.

steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:44 PM

I also think that a meeting between you, the teacher, and the principal are in order.

Mrs.Penguin
by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 9:54 PM

It seems like this teacher has a problem.  Is it just your son she's being hateful to or is that just her demeanor?   Either way, it doesn't sound like she should be teaching AT ALL.  I would talk to the principal and the teacher like was suggested.  I would tell them that your son will no longer be abused in her class.  3rd grade is way too early for your son to start hating school.  If it starts now, he'll never like it.  You said in the parent teacher conference that she wouldn't shut up, what was she going on about?  DO NOT let her intimidate you.  You have to stand up for your son and not let this woman bully him or you.  Maybe she's tired, maybe she's worn out, maybe she's scared for her job, but none of these is a good enough reason to be such a bad teacher.  Your son is not allowed to stand up to her because he must respect teachers, BUT you can stand up to her.  She may be his teacher, but you're his MOTHER, that trumps teacher any day in my book!  Go in there and let this B-word have it!  Tell them that if your son doesn't get moved to another class you'll be looking into filing harrassment charges (I'm not sue happy, but there's nothing a school/business hates hearing more than "harrassment charges").  If all else fails, contact other parents from her class and if they're having similar problems, take it to the school board.  

coffeestrong
by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 10:26 PM

Getting a child moved to a different teacher is hard (they don't like to do this), but not impossible. You will have to be very firm about it though! Yes, Yes, Yes, call tomorrow for a meeting with Princ. & teacher. Be sure to use their trigger word of ....bullying.... your child feels bullied by the teacher.... and yes say so in front of her.  I would also say that he just doen't feel safe in her class. I would also in front of the Principal as for replacement/reimbursement of the snacks she tossed! Make bullet-point notes to keep yourself on track, because they are very good at getting you off track and twisting it to be your child as the problem. And regardless, you must follow up your meeting with a written letter to the Principal, teacher and Superintendent stating the facts and out come of your meeting, yes even if he gets moved, its documentation, because you never know when this may come back years later. (voice of experience)

Some personalities just dont click, my son had that teacher that just could not stand my kid (him showing up, breathing, pissed her off). They tried to turn it every which way they could,  but I kept making my request to have him moved. They said yes, they didn't like it, but I told them if I need to leave his office and go to the Superintendents office, that it could be my next stop. P.S. got along very well with the Principal after that, my son did well the rest of the time at Middle school, the V.P. & P. would stop by to check on his progress and always had good things to say about him.

Be sure you didn't get nasty, raise your voice or sound threatening, just stayed very matter of fact. That this is want will be done, I was prepared to take it to the Superintendent and they knew it. Good Luck!

karisma22
by Bronze Member on Oct. 18, 2011 at 11:47 PM

It is a good idea to talk to the principal and teacher together.  I would definately consider having your son moved to another class.  If things keep going the way they are he is going to be miserable all year.


bmw29
by on Oct. 18, 2011 at 11:55 PM

 She and I would be having a little come to Jesus meeting. I'm all for punishing kids when they misbehave but taking snack for the whole year for one offense is INSANE. I say make an appointment to talk to her. If that's not productive I would then request a meeting with her and the principle.

chinosruca
by Gold Member on Oct. 19, 2011 at 1:06 AM

 If this were my kid and she threw my kids snack away, I would walk in a DEMAND that she pay for it. Period. She would not tell me no. I would make it very clear that she is not allowed in any way shape or form to touch my child or any of his property. EVER. If the said item is not in direct violation of school policy (in which a snack is NOT) she had no right to ever touch my childs things, let alone throw it away.

Had I had a parent teacher conference with her, she would not have been allowed to controll the situation, overtalk me, be loud, not listen to me. I am very good at commanding attention. I have the gift of gab.....whether it is nice or not so nice. I demand, with my actions, respect. If she were to not show the respect, I would immediately talk to the principal and or school board to mediate the situation.

Do not allow anyone to disrespect you or your child. EVER. If you really believe your child is telling the truth, then you need to stand up for him.

Lorelai_Nicole
by Lorelai on Oct. 19, 2011 at 2:34 AM

I agree a lot, especially the parts I marked in red. Good luck! 

Quoting coffeestrong:

Getting a child moved to a different teacher is hard (they don't like to do this), but not impossible. You will have to be very firm about it though! Yes, Yes, Yes, call tomorrow for a meeting with Princ. & teacher. Be sure to use their trigger word of ....bullying.... your child feels bullied by the teacher.... and yes say so in front of her.  I would also say that he just doen't feel safe in her class. I would also in front of the Principal as for replacement/reimbursement of the snacks she tossed! Make bullet-point notes to keep yourself on track, because they are very good at getting you off track and twisting it to be your child as the problem. And regardless, you must follow up your meeting with a written letter to the Principal, teacher and Superintendent stating the facts and out come of your meeting, yes even if he gets moved, its documentation, because you never know when this may come back years later. (voice of experience)

Some personalities just dont click, my son had that teacher that just could not stand my kid (him showing up, breathing, pissed her off). They tried to turn it every which way they could,  but I kept making my request to have him moved. They said yes, they didn't like it, but I told them if I need to leave his office and go to the Superintendents office, that it could be my next stop. P.S. got along very well with the Principal after that, my son did well the rest of the time at Middle school, the V.P. & P. would stop by to check on his progress and always had good things to say about him.

Be sure you didn't get nasty, raise your voice or sound threatening, just stayed very matter of fact. That this is want will be done, I was prepared to take it to the Superintendent and they knew it. Good Luck!

 

Alexis Emma 10-13-1999
Leslie Kirsten 03-14-2004
Sarah Mackenzie 08-14-2007 
Due Date 04-15-2012

PoehlerBear1983
by Bronze Member on Oct. 19, 2011 at 6:32 AM
That is insane! First off if a kid is not doing classwork right you take part of recess not their snack and for a whole year is ridiculous. But like everyone else said get a meeting with the principle because a horrible teacher this young could make him hate school forever. Good luck!
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andreahm
by on Oct. 19, 2011 at 8:20 AM

 Thanks everyone who gave me some really good advice to this post! I am such a non confrontational person that the whole thing wigs me out, but I am not going to let her bully my child. I believe my child... and he very much wants to change classes. We have never had any of these problems with anyone else. So thanks to everyone... I will update this soon on how the meeting went!

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