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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

How do you teach the difference between lying and pretending?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2011 at 9:38 PM
  • 15 Replies
2 moms liked this

So last Wednesday night I got a call from a mom asking if my ex was ok because my ds told her kids his father was killed. My ds is 6. So I thanked her and apologized, then told him he could not go to tball and lost the Wii for the weekend. Later on he demonstrated to me that he does not necessarily understand the difference between lying and pretending, etc. I did not lift the punishment, and I told him that he cannot tell things to people that scare them just to hide something else (the context of the lie-another boy made him cry and he was ashamed so he lied about why he was crying). The good news--I told the teacher what was going on and he had to face his friends and admit to lying, which he was afraid to do but it turned out to be a great lesson for him (at least this time).

Anyhow, I am wondering how to talk to him about lying vs pretending without getting confused myself! I was actually sympathetic and found it difficult to explain. I have heard enough six year old boys to know that at this age, they tell some tall tales to begin with. I don't want to stifle my son's creativity, but I don't want to excuse bad behavior. And yes, I've told him the story of the boy who cried wolf many, many times.

Thanks!

by on Oct. 23, 2011 at 9:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DDDaysh
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2011 at 11:27 PM

If you find a clear cut way, let me know!  

I'm still trying to deal with this.  

soontobemommie3
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2011 at 11:33 PM
Me too...

Quoting DDDaysh:

If you find a clear cut way, let me know!  

I'm still trying to deal with this.  

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MLefty
by on Oct. 23, 2011 at 11:45 PM
I have a 7 year old who does the same thing. I tried to give you an answer but confused myself ; ).
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M4LG5
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2011 at 1:36 AM
IDK....lying is hiding something and the other people don't know the real story.....and pretending is acting but other people know the real story?
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mommyjenn84
by on Oct. 24, 2011 at 1:37 AM
1 mom liked this
To me pretending is for fun, lying is to cover up something wrong
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aetrom
by Gold Member on Oct. 24, 2011 at 3:35 AM
We always say lying is something made up that will hurt someone else. Whether it is feelings, or in real life. Ie saying your dad died hurts lots of people if he did not. While telling people you have a big green monster for a dad would not. :)
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JulesFairy
by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2011 at 7:44 AM

Lying is to cover something up, pretending is to make things more fun.

Tsmommy106
by on Oct. 24, 2011 at 8:35 PM

 

Quoting mommyjenn84:

To me pretending is for fun, lying is to cover up something wrong

 Yeah I think that's the best way to put it. My son tells some stories and then he'll say he was just joking. He's never said anyone was dead though. My son is 6yo.

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rnmom4lif
by on Oct. 24, 2011 at 9:26 PM

had this conversation with my son a few months ago i think i said something like......lying is when you intetionally make someone believe something you know isnt true and you let them go on believing it is but pretending is making something up all in fun and everyone knows it isnt real......idk if that makes much sense but he seemed ok with the explanation. lol.

mommynac
by on Oct. 25, 2011 at 8:43 PM

Thanks! I ended up telling him that lying is when you tell someone something to hide something else. I also told him how harmful it is to tell stories like the one he told, to never tell a story that hurts people or makes them worry. It's one of those things that seems like the more you talk about it, the more confused you can get! lol

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