Babysitter issues-with edits-with more edits

[happy-go-lucky]

Ok dh and I have problems finding people who are willing to watch all our kids. The problem is that we have 5 kids who are 18 months to 9 years old. They are good kids, just people don't think they can handle that many. So we found someone who was willing to watch all five, she gets along great with our kids, we trust her.

I have a Christmas party my best friend asked me to go to with her on Friday, and we were planning on this new babysitter watching the kids for 4 or 5 hours.

We did a practice run, first time she was alone with the kids, last night. We were gone for a hour and a half. We told her no movies when we were gone, so she called us an hour in to ask what movies the kids could watch. I told her no movies, have the boys get in the bath and play in their rooms. The younger kids could color, read books, play board games. My boys are 8 and 9 and every bath night we follow the same routine, they know what to do.

So we get home half an hour later, and all the kids are watching a movie, only one of the boys had taken a bath. The stress of setting things right, as soon as we got home, was not worth going out to eat.

So, do I give her another chance on Friday, or just not go to the party? My best friend will not be upset if I don't go.

And because I guess some people are confused, let me clarify, movies are ok on Fridays, but not on week days. And my boys had to stay up late to get baths done. Books, board games, art supplies are all in easy reach. She let them watch movies because they wanted to. And she only had 4 kids, one was at my moms.


The weather made the choice for me this time, we are expecting a foot of snow Friday night. If my kids watch a movies on a school night, they end up sleeping badly, and the next day they have problems at school, and they did. Just because your kids can handle it, does not mean my kids don't have real problems. On Fridays and weekends, they can sleep in for a couple hours or take a nap after lunch, not something they can do at school. Dh works wendesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights from 7 pm to 2 am. He also works days Monday to Friday (8 to 5). So Monday and tusday nights are the only time we can go on a date. I originally planned on my sons taking showers before school the next day, but when she was having problems with the 4 kids at once, I suggested the boys take baths since they can do that all by them selves, making it so she only had to focus on two right then. There was not fight from my kids about it. One took a bath, and then said he wanted to watch a movie (this is what she said) and so she put on a movie and told the boys they could watch it, because that is what they wanted. She told me, to my face that my oldest son said he wanted to watch a movie and so she put it on. I made dinner, and served it, I was home 20 minuets before bedtime. All she was asked to do was to watch our kids. There was nothing else. If she cant handle that, I don't think I want her to watch my kids when there is more involved.



The baby sitter is 18, we paid her $40 for the hour and a half. I know I will not be going out on Friday, we may or may not have her watch our kids again. I can understand if she didn't want to do baths, and if she had said so when she called, I wouldn't have expected it to be done. She said that it would be no problem. The baths don't really matter that much, since she said she would, I expected them done. My kids did get in trouble for asking, and we did talk to them, and did before we left. Only my 8 and 9 year olds took baths, not the younger ones. Books, games, play dough, art supplies are in easy reach, easy to find. My 18 month old can get to most, my 3 year old can get to everything. I hope I got most of the questions. There has been so many responses I don't think I read them all.

[insanemomof4]

ill gladly watch ur kids for 40 bucks for more then an hr and a half. And im one to follow rules i have 4 kids of my own 5 more wouldnt make a bit of difference.

[Ginnylou]

I know it is hard too find a sitter who is willing to sit for so many kids.. but she did say it was "no problem" when you told her what you expected... so in my simple opinion ... There shouldn't have been a problem... the supplies you have lovenly put for your children to express themselves were within easy reach...and she could have said : "Lets make mommy a card or picture for when she gets home"... making it a group project... then she could have gotten snacks and bath done... but I think she was just lazy... after all putting a movie is so much easier... to pay someone $40 to take the pressure off you for one night is great ... but only when you come home and  your wishes are met and you can sit and relax and reflect on how much you enjoyed the down time... and how you feel reenergized... not when you have to come home and do everything yourself later and it goofs up routines for days...

I would not give her another chance... she is adult and  she should see babysitting not as a favor but as a job... sorry but I feel if you pay someome to do a job... then it should get done not the way they feel like doing it...

I was a sitter alll thru high school and I brought craft projects with me or special books with puppets...I was so in demand that I had to turn clients away...

[EmbersMom]

Having raised 5 kids myself I can understand your rules. My youngest is 16 and still has a bed time or she is cranky at school lol. I also know that NO sitter will do everything you want every time.  If the kids were ok other then no baths count your blessings that you found someone that will watch them and have fun! 4 or 5 can be overwhelming and maybe the movie was her way of coping for a short time. On the serious side  Id talk to her and see why she ignored your rules and then decide if she deserves a second chance.

[lorelei10]

Exactly... That and no matter how good your kids are they will testy every limit they can with a new sitter.... And 4 could easily make her give in.... With that being said however.... A sitter should always be respectful of the rules of the house and do her best to keep them... Maybe if she had to use the movie she should have asked you if a compromise was ok. Maybe a half hour of tv after bath time. Or something similar. Hugs I know it can be hard to never be able to get out.... My parents were lucky to have
me for my 4 sibling s. They were wild boys too lol! And I never even got paid for it. Haha too bad you don't livre closer or id take care of em for ya :) gl with the situation.

Quoting michelles:

 I would give her another chance. I assume that the reason for no movies last night was because it was a school night and if so, then movies on Friday night would be okay! I wonder if having all 5 kids was something that she thought would be easier than it was and the movie was her effort at calming herself because the kids would focus on something together! I know that I would be a little overwhelmed with 5 kids, myself!

[mom22tumblebugs]

She may be 18, but perhaps she isn't as mature of an 18 yr old to handle that many kids at once perfectly the first time she babysits them. Next time, perhaps getting her and a friend to babysit and pay them (they would split it).

[merijanoo]

In my opinion she is too young to handle 5 , even 4 kids at once. U have 3 of my own n it can be stressful for one as a parent, imagine for an outsider. Second, you should straight out her responsibilities and rules for her, whatt u expect and what you will not tolerate. Once everything is clear, she will know she will be held responsible n liable if things aren't done your way. Good luck!

[littlequeenie]

There is only 2 people that are gonna do things exactly as you.want them done, you and hubby. I say if their schedule is set in stone, your's best be too and you both plan on staying home til they are old enough to stay home alone and follow the rules to a T themselves. No matter if you have one kid or 5, getting a sitter usually.means the schedule isgoing to be thrown out of whack.

[kidcab]

When we have a sitter I do not expect the routine to be followed. That is expecting too much IMO. They kids are excited and show-offy. They each want the new person to give them undevided attention and that can be hard with TWO let alone five. I am one of 5 and I have three of my own. A movie is always the easiest way for a sitter to watch where all of them are at one time. Remember the kids will test their boundaries when u r not there. Case in point, THEY knew what needed to be done and yet you KNOW they asked the sitter for a movie or she would not have bothered to ask you over and over. Give her another shot, but you know what your kids are like around strangers so take that into account.

[Morrigan333]

Babysitters around here get about $12-15 per hour. Most families only have 2 kids around here, but the lady up the street that runs her daycare out of her home charges about $200/wk for 1 kid-4-5 days-8-3pm. I think maybe the sitter just wanted EASY cash, and felt that $40 for 4 kids for 1 1/2 hours wasn't enough for her to do what was expected of her and what she had AGREED upon to do. I wouldn't use her again, ther's a trust issue.

[Arwynn]

I would say no. She didn't follow your instructions - twice - and let them watch the movie anyway. We have the same rule in our house and it takes more than a few hours to get back on routine.

I wouldn't call her back. Basically if u can't trust her in little things how can I trust her if there's a bigger issue.