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in need of help

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 7:59 AM
  • 10 Replies

my son who ha add/adhd is very out of control, his dad is not really in the picture. the biggest issue right now is that he has tried 2 hit me and throws me the look of death when he gets mad at me and not his own way. it is a very big control struggle between us. what r some suggestions as 2 get thru this and get the control i should have and respect. it's ruining his relationship w his siblings and my relationships  

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 7:59 AM
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:00 AM

 Looks don't hurt anyone so ignore those. And whatever you do, don't give in to him ever! Be consistent!

Hitting you is another issue, serious consquences need to be given for that, in his room for the entire day, grounded for the weekend, etc.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:33 AM
What a hard situation to be in. Is there any other male role model in his life? A grandfather, a family friend. I can't tell you how many times my husband MUST remind my son to respect me and that he MUST listen to me and my son doesn't have ADD. So I think young boys must learn to listen and mind their mothers. Somestimes are very hard with my own son.

I am not sure why some boys do that. I would continue to tell him you are boss and he must listen. Sorry, I wish I had the magic answer for you.
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:37 AM

How old is he?

The methods of dealing with his hitting should be age appropriate. For instance if he's 11 and hitting you, that's a LOT different than if he's 4 and hitting you.

by Emerald Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:07 AM

Exactly Rora, age plays a huge role in it.  If he is older, then I would suggest seeing about some anger management for him.  He needs to learn how to process his emotions in a more appropriate fashion and severe punishments won't teach him that.  It'll only prevent him from being violent with you and you want him to never be violent with anyone.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:49 PM

my bro was a gd role model til he moved away. i do have a guy fd that i was dating and we do spend quite abit of time, he does try 2 help out but it ges under his skin when my son raises his hand 2 me it is something he is totally against kind of his childhood. there have been times in my past that i wud let things slide, just from being stressed at work then coming home and dealing w the stresses. i since have noticed thou how out of comtrol my son is and it has put a big impact on my social life. i also think the adjustment of a ma( who the other kids refer 2 as a dad, but at this tiem is only a fd) is a big change. my sons dad has been out of the pic 6yrs , only comes around when it is his convinces. i think the fact of him having 2 share me bothers him cause some1 else is part of my life.

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:50 PM

he will be 8 at the end of the month

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 11:39 PM

Get him some help. The older he gets the worse he can hurt you. My son kicked me and broke 3 ribs. He was mad because I wouldn't go swimming with him. 2 weeks later I had to call the police on him because he got violent when he didn't get his way again. They didn't take him into custody but told him if I had called the night he broke my ribs they would have taken him to juvenile court immediately. He is on  a tranquilizer now, & will stay on it until he chooses to treat me with respect. He doesn't hit me, but will try to shove me or get in my way.

by Barbara on Dec. 4, 2011 at 11:41 PM

I'm going to suggest family counseling, especially if he's old enough for his hitting to hurt you. (I don't know how old he is. Did I miss that somewhere?)

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 11:44 PM

do you know if someone has hurt or bullied him?? some times kids act out because they are hurting and cant express them selves...stay consistent and lots of love...does he have healthy diet and sleep schedule? no junk food or food color msg ect...these additives can escalate moods...try going to boy scouts or karate for self control and positive role models...but stay involved and watch who is around your wishes

by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 1:06 PM

he is a very outgoing kid in school and has many fds. when he does see his dad he does get alt of bad infuence from there alot of negativity,putdown etc.., which i may stop til a court order can b set and mayb parenting classes 4 his dad. the fact that his dad is notaround cud have something 2 do w it, i'm not sure at times we have such a great relationship til he does not get his way.

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