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Stricking a balance with homework

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:32 PM
  • 35 Replies

I'm trying to see how other people deal with their child's homework. But first let me give you a little background. I have one five-year old son. He is in Pre-K at the private school down the street. His dad and I opted for private school because the schools in this state are 49th in the country.

The school is very good and most of my friends kids go there also. Right now he does not have homework from class but because he is in speech therapy he has 20 minutes per night of exercises and letters we have to review. One of my friends son is in kindergarten and has 30 minutes of homework. From there the amount of time spent on homework goes up with each grade. 

Just called another friend of mine, her son is in 4th or 5th grade, to see if she wanted to hang out. She said no because she needed to put together her sons science project. Her son is with his dad this weekend and isn't even home.

Even before I sent my child to this school I would watch parents and in some cases grandparents of the kids who go to this school put together various projects. There was one school-wide art project that was a little over the top with kids having to mat their art pieces and attach them to the board that caused a lot of grief with parents. 

The school is intense, even with the fundraising and volunteer requirements they put on parents, and they want parents to be actively involved with their childs homework. I totally agree with this but how do you strike a balance between being involved and doing the homework?

IMO being involved is being there to help when the child gets stuck and checking the homework. I don't see the need to sit next to my child while he is doing every problem but to be there when/if he needs help. I don't see the need to do his homework if he forgot or just blew it off. I do think working on a project together is a good idea but doing the project for him...oh no!

How do you not fall into this trap and strike a balance?

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
our3
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:35 PM

Luckily our school is awesome and doesnt send home homework until 5th or 6th grade. DD is in 4th and they get study hall at the end of the day to get their "homework " done that way a teacher is their to help. Every now and again a project will some home but thats only a couple times a year.

sassyalex
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 1:45 PM

my son is in speech therapy too. He is in 1st grade and the first thing he does when he get his homework packet on fridays is he does it. Then he has all weekend free so it is just working on reading. In fact thats how all three of my kids do the homework. On fridays they get the packet and do it. works pretty well for me.

wakymom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:00 PM

I assist when asked for help. 

That said, there was one time last school yr where I ended up giving ds1 the answers on a couple of big assignments. He kept putting it off by forgetting to bring it home, and he was already up way past bedtime trying to finish. He knows that time was a major exception to my "helping only" policy, and I haven't had to do it since.

 

 

 

 

 

coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 2:43 PM
I help when needed but when artwork is involved, I tend to take over. I'm really trying to step back but I have a lot of scrapbook stuff they need and don't like when they touch it. Like I said, I'm working on it!
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IzzyBashir
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:18 PM


Quoting coolmommy2x:

I help when needed but when artwork is involved, I tend to take over. I'm really trying to step back but I have a lot of scrapbook stuff they need and don't like when they touch it. Like I said, I'm working on it!

I can so relate to this. I have a degree in art and work as a graphic artist. When ever my son and I do an art project I have to leave the room. In October we went to one of the local museusm to participate in their Day of the Dead Festival. They had a room where the children and adults could make sugar skulls and baskets to carry them in. We gathered all of our supplies, went and sat at a table, and a few minutes later I hear my son say "I'm done!" I looked at his project and said "don't you want to explore more?" He literally had taken three scraps of paper and glued it to the outside of the basket. He said "no, all finished." I had to keep thinking, it's his project leave him alone.

Then my friend and her son come over and start their projects. They start stapling scraps of paper to their baskets. It was all I could do not to scream "NO!!!!!"

confused0701
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:20 PM

I have the oposite problem my kid loves homework and whines when she runs out and has nothing else to do!  Her teacher is a firm believer in only 30 minutes a night!  So I make up my own homework sheets for her to do!

maxswolfsuit
by Max on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

As a teacher I keep this in mind when grading projects. I make it very clear to students and parents that the child should be doing the project. Parents can support by doing portions of the project that are dangerous or not age appropriate like cutting or spray paint. But the work should be similar to what the child does in class. 

Students also have to describe how they completed the project and answer questions. If they can't explain it, their grade suffers. 

I've been in the very uncomfortable position of contacting parents to let them know their child would have to redo an assignment because the student didn't know how the project was done. 

I can't speak for all teachers, but all the ones I know want the child to do the project. Most are not bold enough to say anything. But we can all tell when mom did the project. It's such a disservice to the child. 

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:43 PM

I assist when asked for help.

Cindy18
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:21 PM

 I think you are absolutely right.

No parent should be doing their kid's homework. PERIOD.

coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:30 PM
I hear ya. My kids love Color Me Mine...I practically have to sit on my hands!

Quoting IzzyBashir:



Quoting coolmommy2x:

I help when needed but when artwork is involved, I tend to take over. I'm really trying to step back but I have a lot of scrapbook stuff they need and don't like when they touch it. Like I said, I'm working on it!

I can so relate to this. I have a degree in art and work as a graphic artist. When ever my son and I do an art project I have to leave the room. In October we went to one of the local museusm to participate in their Day of the Dead Festival. They had a room where the children and adults could make sugar skulls and baskets to carry them in. We gathered all of our supplies, went and sat at a table, and a few minutes later I hear my son say "I'm done!" I looked at his project and said "don't you want to explore more?" He literally had taken three scraps of paper and glued it to the outside of the basket. He said "no, all finished." I had to keep thinking, it's his project leave him alone.

Then my friend and her son come over and start their projects. They start stapling scraps of paper to their baskets. It was all I could do not to scream "NO!!!!!"

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