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Sassy 6 yo

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:31 PM
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My 6 yo daughter has been giving me a really hard time for the past few weeks. She argues with just about everything I say, doesn't do what she is told without a threat, can't quite comprehend the word "no" and cries when I get upset with her.

She has always been strong willed and stubborn, but she has taken it to the extreme this week. I'm at my wits end and find myself yelling at her more and more often. I don't want to be that parent - I want to be understanding and patient and talk things through, but I'm not sure what to do.

She is really is a sweet kid and has many positive attributes such as friendly, kind, outgoing, loving, thoughtful, nurturing. I'm just sure how to stop this behavior before it gets worse.

Any advice?

Michelle - Mom to Lauren (6 yo) and Julianna (3 yo)

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
veganistic
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:34 PM
I took my dd off of artificial dyes and it helped a bunch. She's much less over emotional now, and more cooperative! Bump :)
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MeAndMyGirlies
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:39 PM

I didn't realize food dye could cause these issues, but I do try to cook/bake everything from scratch rather than boxed or frozen foods for this very reason along with many others (preservaties, chemicals, additives, fillers, etc). I'm sure there are stll some dyes getting into her diet, but I can't imagine it is too high.

Something to consider for sure though...

Roo1234
by Bronze Member on Jan. 17, 2012 at 3:30 PM
4 moms liked this

One thing I've done with our three kids is that when they speak to me in a way I feel is argumentative or disrespectful, I give them the option of restating what they just said.  It is amazing how many times once they think through what anfd how they said something to me they realize that they have crossed a line.  In time, they have learned to choose their words and tone much more carefully.

BeccaGK
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 5:42 PM

I always say that I have a 3 yr old girl going on 16! She has this diva attitude that drives me crazy! I tell her all the time she doesnt' get anything unless she talks to me nicely. She usually runs to her room and slams the door but comes out little later and talks to me again in a nicer way. Im hoping that eventually she will calm down and realize how she needs to act. I think part of her problem is that she copies her 5 yr old brother who has aspergers. He has a hard time thinking before talking and we are working on it with him as well

Kermitthemom23
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Congrats on a having a typical 6yo?
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steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jan. 17, 2012 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, it is fairly typical, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with it.  Your dd is in school now, is becoming more independant, and is really beginning to realize that she has a lot of control over herself.  Remember those toddler years when they realized that they can get around on their own and get into things on their own?  This is similar, except they are now testing the waters with expressing their opinion on things you ask them to do.  I would suggest starting a daily routine, that way she knows what to expect when and there will be less arguing about when she is going to do homework, get a bath, play video games, etc.  Instead of yelling, give her the option to talk to you again nicely, if she refuses then give her a consequence like losing video game or tv time or whatever else is very important to her.

MeAndMyGirlies
by on Jan. 18, 2012 at 10:36 AM
Thank you for the advice! I appreciate it.
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coolmommy2x
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2012 at 10:41 AM
1 mom liked this
My 7 yo DD has days where she's like a 17 yo with PMS. When she gets mouthy, I tell her I will not listen until she can speak nicely. That usually works because she can't stand to be ignored.
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CarlysMommy1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2012 at 11:47 AM

I've noticed that my 5 year old does better when she's out of school.  She gets a sassy mouth sometimes too and loves to argue and negotiate (I think she'd make a great lawyer!).  She was awesome the entire time over the winter break but now that she's back in school she has an attitude again sometimes.  When my daughter is demanding or speaks to me in an inappropriate way I just tell her that I would be happy to help her/speak to her when she is ready to use her manners and be respectful.  Then, I ignore her until she is able to speak politely.  I think my daughter is 5 going on 15.

Traci_Momof2
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2012 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

My boys (ages 5 and 7) have a hard time with being demanding lately.  They get this attitude about them (especially my 7 year old) that they are owed everything.  I'll start with what another poster suggested, which is saying to them something like "Are you sure that's the way you want to phrase that?"  Usually, when given that chance to think about it, they rephrase it in a polite, non-demanding way.  I also try to the best of my ability to give them the same courtesy I expect from them.  Show them through example how they are supposed to behave.  That means that I do not constantly demand stuff from them.  If it's not uber important for them to do, such as feeding the dog, then I politely ask them to feed the dog.  If they respond with a polite decline then I don't push it any further and I feed the dog myself.  Then that way too when I decline some of their requests, if they get pissy about it, I can remind them that sometimes their answer is no and I don't get pissy about it.  It makes them think about it a bit and makes them kind of back off.  Of course, some things, like homework, are not optional.  And sometimes Mommy just forgets and gets too demanding ;)  But when I can I try to use this tactic and I think it helps.

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