How fair is that??

[kmrtigger]

I have a what if question:

What if you had 4 kids. And your money isn't always a guarantee. How do you handle birthdays for the kids. (Do you keep it fair or does it really matter to the kids?)

This is an example of a scenario:

Say one kid is born in January. And you just spent a TON of money on Christmas shopping, etc. And funds are low. So you don't through a party for them but rather bake a cake and have family over and that's it. With a few gifts.

And the 2nd child is born in March. And you have money b/c of income taxes coming back. So you throw a party for them at a nice place. Invite all their friends and family. And gifts for them as well.

Well it's August and now the 3rd child is turning a year older. And you don't have as much cash as you did for the other 2 kids. So you don't throw a party but just bake a cake. And explain to them that you will have to get them gifts later when you have the funds.

Uh-oh, 4th child is born in September. And you got a decent pay because of overtime. So you throw a small party at home and invite a few friends. Order cake for them.  Buy them a few gifts and buy some for the kid in August.

Is this fair to all the kids?

How do YOU keep it fair to all the kids?

[incognito116]

Why does this person keep having children if they can't even afford to throw a small birthday party for them?

[kmrtigger]

Quoting incognito116:

Why does this person keep having children if they can't even afford to throw a small birthday party for them?

That isn't a true story. It's something I made up based on a movie I watch with hubby last night. I saw something similar and it got me thinking.

Do you think it is fair to all the children to be treated differently?

[nellyb118]

That's not fair at all. I think a small birthday for all is fair. When that extra income comes save it for next years birthdays or Christmas instead of spending on one child.

[kmrtigger]

Quoting nellyb118:

That's not fair at all. I think a small birthday for all is fair. When that extra income comes save it for next years birthdays or Christmas instead of spending on one child.

That's how I felt when I was watching the movie. It made no sense to me to give one child a more expensive party just because the funds were available around their birthday. To me I thought that MAYBE they could save that money and toss a HUGE party for all the children to be able to invite a few friends and family later in the year.

[mysty923]

I don't beleive in parties for kids each year.  We pick ONE special year (6, 7, 8, or 9 or 13) and that is the party year

I don't want my kids raised to think its all about them

My income never varies based on what I have coming in - when I vowed to have kids I knew I would need savings

[steelcrazy]

I can't say that things were completely fair for my children, but life isn't fair.  However, I can't say that it was ever as extreme as the scenario either.  The oldest had a much more elaborate first birthday party than the second child had.  The oldest also had a few more friend parties than the second did, but we stopped friend parties for both in the same year.  Obviously kids have different needs at different times, so you can't always make every thing fair.

[bleumonster]

I spend the same amount of money on each kid. That includes any party expenses and gifts. My son's birthday is in January and that sets what I spend on my daughter at her birthday in April. I budget and make sure I can spend approximately the same amount. He usually has a party but she doesn't so she gets more expensive or at least more gifts. If I know my money is going to fluxuate that much then I would do the same family party with cake and gifts for each child.

[wakymom]

How do I keep b-days fair? Simple. They only get a party on the big ages (10, 13, probably 16 and 18), and it's not a big party. They get the same amount of gifts. W/ ds2 and dd having b-days 10 and 14 days after Christmas, I get their b-day gifts at the same time as the Christmas ones so I'm not scrambling later.

 

 

 

 

 

[jaytee]

The whole being fair to each of your kids is a sensitive subject with me. That being said I know life isn't fair.

I do try to keep birthday parties the same for each kid and I try to spend about the same amount of money on each kid. The kiddos really would be happy with a cake, dinner and a gift with just family but we try to include friends too.

This post has me thinking of another post I could make, lol!

[kmrtigger]

Make it. :)

Quoting jaytee:

The whole being fair to each of your kids is a sensitive subject with me. That being said I know life isn't fair.

I do try to keep birthday parties the same for each kid and I try to spend about the same amount of money on each kid. The kiddos really would be happy with a cake, dinner and a gift with just family but we try to include friends too.

This post has me thinking of another post I could make, lol!