My 5 year old DD is in a PreK program. I asked a few weeks ago if the class was doing anything and the teacher said no its not a celebrated holiday and they cannot encourage celebration in any way. Okay fine. A little bummed but it's life. Rules are rules.Well yesterday I find out that parents have decided on their own that they are going to bring in snacks (like candy and juice and pizza) for afternoon snack time, but that the children are not handing them out, only the parents.
Last night DD asked me if she could make Valentines for her friends and I told her I'm sorry but the rules say no. Mommy asked but we can't.
This morning, I walk into her class and atleast 5 kids rush her with Valentine's cards with pencils and candy and fundip. No parents in sight, both her teachers are running late, subs have no idea what's going on. So I go to the office and as what's going on and they say only the teachers can help because they have no clue and so I have them to have her call me when she gets in.
I am currently fuming because I look like an idiot, and my LO is hurt because I wouldn't let her do the fun thing and she thinks I lied to her. How do you proceed with a situation like this?
wow you still have time to run to dollar store get cards and valentine pencil or goodies you can give it to classmate after school. Let her know that they are rules we have to follow the guidelines. It just a part of life. Maybe teacher should also explain the guidelines as welll good luck.
Update: Teacher called back said she told me that we were allowed and I reminded her of the specific instance she told me no and she said oh well the other parents did it and so she can too. I ended up calling the construction company I had scheduled for today and asked them if they could change my contact number and then ran out to the store and got her stuff and made it to her class while they were out at recess, but when I called the school to double check on the number of children in the room the office personnel told me that i wasn't allowed to do it. In a firm but polite tone i told her that I had already spoken to others about this and she could speak to the teacher if she had any other questions or i would talk to her when i got there, By the time I got there she had apparently gotten the whole story because she told me they don't usually do or allow this but given the current situation she understands and is very sorry that it happened this way.
Try to remember that teachers can't control what other parents do. They have rules and hope that everyone will follow the rules, but that isn't always the case. There are those who think that the rules don't apply to them. I am glad that the teacher permitted you to get Valentine's cards for your child to pass out.
By going out and getting valentines you are undermining the teacher and school rules. Not to mention letting DD get away with whining and getting her way.
I agree that you will always have the parents that never pay attention to the rules or school polices. It's part of life.
But when your daughter asked if she could make cards for her friend's I would not have told her no. She has every right to make something for her friends. But I would have explained to her that the cards would have to be handed out after class was over for the day.
I am sorry you felt like a bad mom for telling her no, then seeing other kids handing them out in class. Be sure to talk to her about this when she gets home. BTW great job on making it up to her by getting cards. :)
Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:
I would have sgill told my child,"I'm sorry, no. Its againt the rules. The other parents broke the rules." Yes, I'm the mean Mom.
By going out and getting valentines you are undermining the teacher and school rules. Not to mention letting DD get away with whining and getting her way.
Where in the post did she say her daughter whined? She told her daughter no she couldn;t do the cards b/c of the rules explained to her by the teacher. Her daughter was sad but that was it.
Her mom felt bad because other kids were handing out cards after she had told her daughter it wouldn't be allowed to happen. So she felt as if she had lied to her daughter.
However, Mom shouldn't have taken them into the school. Just because other parents did it, it doesn't make it right.
Quoting kmrtigger:I agree that you will always have the parents that never pay attention to the rules or school polices. It's part of life.
But when your daughter asked if she could make cards for her friend's I would not have told her no. She has every right to make something for her friends. But I would have explained to her that the cards would have to be handed out after class was over for the day.
I am sorry you felt like a bad mom for telling her no, then seeing other kids handing them out in class. Be sure to talk to her about this when she gets home. BTW great job on making it up to her by getting cards. :)
Thats messed up, I would just fill out all of them, its always better to have to many.
Quoting JulesFairy:Update: Teacher called back said she told me that we were allowed and I reminded her of the specific instance she told me no and she said oh well the other parents did it and so she can too. I ended up calling the construction company I had scheduled for today and asked them if they could change my contact number and then ran out to the store and got her stuff and made it to her class while they were out at recess, but when I called the school to double check on the number of children in the room the office personnel told me that i wasn't allowed to do it. In a firm but polite tone i told her that I had already spoken to others about this and she could speak to the teacher if she had any other questions or i would talk to her when i got there, By the time I got there she had apparently gotten the whole story because she told me they don't usually do or allow this but given the current situation she understands and is very sorry that it happened this way.
Aw, you're such a good mom. :-)
Sister's kids' parties and events....too much...need advice
- JulesFairy
on Feb. 14, 2012 at 9:15 AM