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Advice & Info #1: How do you handle a child who won’t listen?

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:31 AM
  • 53 Replies

How would YOU help this mom?

"My son is disrespectful and won't listen to instructions."

What's your approach for a child who won't listen?

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by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 11:31 AM

time out apporach worked for us through the years. 

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 11:34 AM

What do I do when my children wont listen..

Stop for a moment and think.. ask yourself what do I want from my son/daughter and is it how important is it.. Like a hot stove important or your shirt is dirty go change important...

I also noticed with my kids if I constantly run my mouth.. like ds dont do this,keep in mind you cant do that or go there or dd dont forget bla bla.. I start to sound like Charlie Browns teacher and they will block me out..

So maybe pause let your child be for few (unless there is danger) and then start with a different approach..

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 11:57 AM

 He has too much to distract him... If there is something that you want him to do and hear you out have the tv off, no internet ect untel you got your voice heard or he does what you have asked.

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:07 PM

I take away my kids time on the pc. That usually works. Whatever your kids are hooked on. Take it away. I also write reminders on their chalk board and black board because mine have ADD/ADHD so it help if they forget.  

As far as being disrespectful I let my kids know that it hurts me when they treat me that way. I tell them they wouldn't want to be treated like that. They usually apologize and remember not to upset mama. :)

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:11 PM

First I would take my child out of the situation they are in and sit down face to face with them. I would then explain what I want from them and then asking them to repeat back what I just said if they were able to do so. Then I would ask them if they are able to do what I just asked and ask them to show me so I know they understand what I am asking them to do. I would also show them if they couldn't understand.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:19 PM

whew, I have one that was like that for sure, still a struggle sometimes. Turn off any distractions (i.e. tv, music) or leave to quiet room if other people are distracting. Go to eye level, and explain short and sweet. Explain consequences if they do not obey. If already to that point, we do nose corners for 1 minutes per year (their age).

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:25 PM

I have 2 kids and both are different. My daughter, I simply just talk to her, she listens, and we never have to talk about it again. My son is another story. I find that taking a time out myself, coming back to the situation calm and giving ONE instruction at a time, and being more hands on helps. For example, if you needed your son to clean up his toys and put his clothes in the hamper, tell him we're going to clean up the toys, then start by showing him then asking him to help, then after they are cleaned up move to the clothes and do the same thing.  This is just what has worked in my house. I've also found picking my battles works pretty good too! Sometimes it's just easier to get done what you're asking then getting into a war with a child (even though I'm sure this isn't the best idea).

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:27 PM
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I say "hands" and they give me their hands. Holding their hands makes them look you in the eyes. I then say what I need to say, have them repeat it back to me and I let them go do what we just talked about. If they do not then they go to the wall (time out) and when their time is up we go through the whole thing again. We do this until they get it and do what was told to them. It does not take many time outs to get it done.

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:30 PM

This is a good one in my house!!  My 14yr old ds is an angel...his whole life whatever I tell him, he's done.  Don't do that....ok mom.    Now, my 5yr old ds, who I am reminded daily is just like mommy is a different story.  I find that making guidelines and sticking to them helps.  He has a sticker chart, and really enjoys being able to put his stickers up.  At the same time, when no sticker is rewarded he realizes that he didn't obey, and tries harder next time.  For an on the spot not listening, I send him to his room to sit in his chair to think about what he's done.  He is usually out in just a few minutes apologizing, and trying to make up for it!!!  Good luck!!

by on Mar. 22, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Time out privileges taken away.
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