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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My child is where ?! But she didn't have permission.... EDITED

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 11:01 PM
  • 57 Replies

My daughter's school had play try outs today.  She was suppose to go to play try outs right after school and stay there until I picked her up when they were over.  The permission slip I signed said that the kids were required to stay until 5pm. 

I went to pick her up at 5pm and couldn't find her in among the kids.  I was starting to panic when my son said he had to go potty.  When we were leaving the bathroom, I heard some one say, "K  !  Your mom is here !"   She was at the after school club. 

She decided not to try out so they gave her the option of calling me or going to after school club. She choose to go to after school club. 

When I went to ask the PTO  (Parent Teacher Oraanization)  Vice president who was in charge because I wanted to find out from an adult WHY my child was somewhere she wasn't suppose to be !   My daughter's reading teacher stuck her nose in and got all snotty with me, so I got all snotty right back.  She gave it to me even worse. Told me it wasn't time the and the place to get it all figured out and that I shouldn't get upset and be all rude to her.  Oh yes it was !   Why wait until every one is gone ?!?  

Principal and the lady who sent my daughter to the after school club, and the lady  apologized.  They agreed that I should have gotten a phone call letting me know where my child was. I told the principal that if that teacher ever speaks to me that way again,  I will file a complaint with the school board. 

This is the 2nd time this school year that they have let my 5 year old choose where she wanted to go after school.....without calling me or sending her where she was suppose to go. 

My daughter is grounded for the week.  I explained to to her that she can't just go where she wants, when she wants.  She is not old enough to make such choices and it's scary for us when we can't find her.   She is going to write a letter of apology to the principal, the after school club supervisor, and everyone else involved. 


-edit - 

We decided to have our daughter be grounded for two days ...no TV or computers until tomorrow night.  It's a total of 2 hours she looses.  She knows what she did was wrong.  She came up to me this morning and said she was sorry and that she should have had an adult call me when she changed her mind.  I explained to her that I was scared because I didn't know where she was. 


by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 11:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 26, 2012 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Yikes!  I'd be livid as well, especially when the child involved is only 5 years old.  I would most likely give my 11 year old a serious talking to if something like this happened with him, because he is old enough to know that he should call me if there is a change in plans.  A 5 year old though, isn't quite mature enough yet to be making those kinds of decisions.  Shame on whoever thought it would be ok to let her go to after school club without calling you first.

auroragold
by on Mar. 27, 2012 at 5:58 AM

five?

At first I thought we were talking about a 9 or 10 year old (still not okay but also not about panicking).  But FIVE?!?  Holy crap - I would be ripping heads off too.

Cindy18
by Cruella on Mar. 27, 2012 at 6:54 AM
3 moms liked this

I'd be upset. An adult should have called. There was no reason why you could pick her up if she changed her mind, right? But livid.... I don't know. She was still at the school, right? Just in another room?  I don't know if I would ground her because an adult gave her a choice, so she choose. She is five and probably thought after school care sounded fun.

RLSMOM59
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 8:21 AM
7 moms liked this

I think you over reacted just a bit since your child was still on school property. What would have happen if they finished play tryouts before 5pm, where would she go? Of course they person in charge of the tryouts should have known where she had gone and informed you when you got there as to where she was.If she was not interested in trying out and sitting in the tryout room being disruptive, the person in charge had to make a decision. The tryout room is for trying out not after school care. I can she her point also.

Finally, did the lady who sent your child to after school club know what was on the permission slip? It was an honest mistake.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:24 AM
6 moms liked this

This.  If she decided that she didn't want to try out for the play then she would be in the way.  They sent her to another room on campus.  Big deal.  It's not like they sent her to walk home by herself.  You need to land the rotors.

Quoting RLSMOM59:

I think you over reacted just a bit since your child was still on school property. What would have happen if they finished play tryouts before 5pm, where would she go? Of course they person in charge of the tryouts should have known where she had gone and informed you when you got there as to where she was.If she was not interested in trying out and sitting in the tryout room being disruptive, the person in charge had to make a decision. The tryout room is for trying out not after school care. I can she her point also.

Finally, did the lady who sent your child to after school club know what was on the permission slip? It was an honest mistake.


AnGLInterrupted
by on Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:46 AM
3 moms liked this

I would be livid with the school in general and the way they handled things.  I wouldn't ground my child for that though.  The option to go off in another group should not have even been mentioned to her.  It was the responsibility of an adult to say, "Okay, let's call your mom", not hers.  

mom22tumblebugs
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:56 AM
4 moms liked this

I agree with both of these. At 5, I would have been there with her to watch the tryouts. These activities are often run by parent volunteers. It sounds like your daughter changed her mind, so she was sent to after care until the designated pick up time.

Quoting mjande4:

This.  If she decided that she didn't want to try out for the play then she would be in the way.  They sent her to another room on campus.  Big deal.  It's not like they sent her to walk home by herself.  You need to land the rotors.

Quoting RLSMOM59:

I think you over reacted just a bit since your child was still on school property. What would have happen if they finished play tryouts before 5pm, where would she go? Of course they person in charge of the tryouts should have known where she had gone and informed you when you got there as to where she was.If she was not interested in trying out and sitting in the tryout room being disruptive, the person in charge had to make a decision. The tryout room is for trying out not after school care. I can she her point also.

Finally, did the lady who sent your child to after school club know what was on the permission slip? It was an honest mistake.

 


Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:03 AM
4 moms liked this
I wouldn't have an issue with them sending DD to after careunless they tried to charge you. Here it is $3 a day or something like that. She didn't want to try-out and would have been bored and possibly distracting. They knew you had a designated pickup time...no biggie.

A phone call home would have been preferable, but ehhhh, it didn't hurt anyone to go to aftercare.

Honestlt take a look at your "panic".. I'm thinking you over reacted a bit and the teacher was reacting to your attitude. Was it right of her? No, not one needs to get snappy at school. However, you have to look at it from both sides.
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rhymia
by Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:31 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting Cindy18:

I'd be upset. An adult should have called. There was no reason why you could pick her up if she changed her mind, right? But livid.... I don't know. She was still at the school, right? Just in another room?  I don't know if I would ground her because an adult gave her a choice, so she choose. She is five and probably thought after school care sounded fun.

This. You child is essentially being punished for doing as another adult told her :( I'm fairly sure you never thought to tell her she needed to stay in *that* room so it's not like she was deliberately disobeying you.

I'd be annoyed the teacher got snippy, but really, they were there for rehearsals, not babysitting. If I were the school this would be a lesson learned and it would be made clear that children who decided not to rehearse would be sent to the after school care.

Barabell
by Barbara on Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:32 AM
3 moms liked this

When you saw she wasn't there, did you ask one of the adults watching the kids trying out for the play? If they didn't know where your daughter was, I could see getting upset.

But the way you describe it above, it doesn't sound like you asked where your daughter was. If that is the case, I think you over reacted. She was still on school property, and it's completely possible that all you needed to do was ask the nearest adult instead of panic and then scream at them.

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