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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

My child is where ?! But she didn't have permission.... EDITED

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My daughter's school had play try outs today.  She was suppose to go to play try outs right after school and stay there until I picked her up when they were over.  The permission slip I signed said that the kids were required to stay until 5pm. 

I went to pick her up at 5pm and couldn't find her in among the kids.  I was starting to panic when my son said he had to go potty.  When we were leaving the bathroom, I heard some one say, "K  !  Your mom is here !"   She was at the after school club. 

She decided not to try out so they gave her the option of calling me or going to after school club. She choose to go to after school club. 

When I went to ask the PTO  (Parent Teacher Oraanization)  Vice president who was in charge because I wanted to find out from an adult WHY my child was somewhere she wasn't suppose to be !   My daughter's reading teacher stuck her nose in and got all snotty with me, so I got all snotty right back.  She gave it to me even worse. Told me it wasn't time the and the place to get it all figured out and that I shouldn't get upset and be all rude to her.  Oh yes it was !   Why wait until every one is gone ?!?  

Principal and the lady who sent my daughter to the after school club, and the lady  apologized.  They agreed that I should have gotten a phone call letting me know where my child was. I told the principal that if that teacher ever speaks to me that way again,  I will file a complaint with the school board. 

This is the 2nd time this school year that they have let my 5 year old choose where she wanted to go after school.....without calling me or sending her where she was suppose to go. 

My daughter is grounded for the week.  I explained to to her that she can't just go where she wants, when she wants.  She is not old enough to make such choices and it's scary for us when we can't find her.   She is going to write a letter of apology to the principal, the after school club supervisor, and everyone else involved. 


-edit - 

We decided to have our daughter be grounded for two days ...no TV or computers until tomorrow night.  It's a total of 2 hours she looses.  She knows what she did was wrong.  She came up to me this morning and said she was sorry and that she should have had an adult call me when she changed her mind.  I explained to her that I was scared because I didn't know where she was. 


by on Mar. 26, 2012 at 11:01 PM
Replies (51-57):
nurbabe82
by Member on Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:08 PM

 I think your dd's punishment is a bit on the harsh side. She's only 5 and made a 5 year old decision. I could see being upset if when you got there no one in the try out room knew where she was or couldn't at least point you in a direction of where she could be. But if you didn't ask anyone first after not seeing your dd then I think you overreacted a little because you didn't give anyone the oppurtunity to tell you where she was. But I do understand that panic feeling when you don't see where your child is. Maybe you could suggest at a PTO meeting that when kids are finished doing whatever try outs, etc. they automatically go the after school room so parents know where to go automatically? Just a thought.

mrjonesii
by on Mar. 27, 2012 at 10:50 PM

I would have an issue with the school and would have confronted them about it.  Especially the smart mouth teacher.  As for dd I wouldn't have punished her.  They should not have ask her.  I would just make sure that everyone had an understanding that I expect to be called if any changes are made in the future.  It was nice for you to get an apology.

danarae1976
by on Mar. 27, 2012 at 11:03 PM

The principal and the lady that sent my daughter who sent her to afterschool club did say they were sorry and that I should have gotten a call.  I explain that I was so mad that this is the 2nd time the school sent her. 

I doubt the teacher will apologize.     I emailed the gal in charge of afterschool and said that my DD is to be there on early outs and on Friday's only unless I email her first or send a note with my DD. 

Quoting mrjonesii:

I would have an issue with the school and would have confronted them about it.  Especially the smart mouth teacher.  As for dd I wouldn't have punished her.  They should not have ask her.  I would just make sure that everyone had an understanding that I expect to be called if any changes are made in the future.  It was nice for you to get an apology.


twilightsbella
by on Mar. 27, 2012 at 11:16 PM

 i understand u getting upset but grounding your 5yr old is to much. shes little she doesn't understand making adult decisions. SMDH

maidjillian
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:44 AM

Yes, the school should have told you. They were WRONG.  Absolutely get pissed at them.

I still think your daughter did not know she was wrong.  Why?  Because she trusted the adults that were in charge.  She was in their care and they gave her permission to go to the club.  She had every reason to think it was perfectly okay for her to go because she was told by adults she knew to be in charge at that moment it was.  At 5 she lacks the critical thinking skill you expect her to have.  It's unreasonable to expect her to think she needs to call you in this situation.  She's only 5. She is not psychologically capable of making these types of judgement calls.  Ask any child psychologist expert.

Do you expect her to call you when she is in class and her teacher gives her permission to do something not normally in the daily schedule (like go to the library)?  That's the message you are giving her- not to trust the adults you left in charge of her.

coolmommy2x
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2012 at 10:55 AM
I agree. By signing the permission slip, OP gave her permission for her DD to be at school until 5:00. But yes, they could've been more organized.

Quoting RLSMOM59:

I think you over reacted just a bit since your child was still on school property. What would have happen if they finished play tryouts before 5pm, where would she go? Of course they person in charge of the tryouts should have known where she had gone and informed you when you got there as to where she was.If she was not interested in trying out and sitting in the tryout room being disruptive, the person in charge had to make a decision. The tryout room is for trying out not after school care. I can she her point also.

Finally, did the lady who sent your child to after school club know what was on the permission slip? It was an honest mistake.

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megsmom05
by on Mar. 28, 2012 at 11:53 AM

Wow - crazy.  I have a 6 year old and they TRUST the teachers/staff to help them get/be somewhere safe.  Grounding your 5 year old and making her write letters of apology for trusting them??? Yikes!   Kids are going to change their mind even after telling you 20 times yes they want to do something, their sense of reasoning is just not there yet - ask your pediatrician!   I understand panic - happened at a dance recital for me when it was disorganized and I couldn't find my dd.  But once you find your child, calm down.  Not very mature to scream at other people and teach your dd THAT is the way to handle the situation!  I'm sure the adults felt this was the best way to make sure that your dd was well supervised until you came to pick her up.  They knew you would be there at 5:00 to get her after all!  Maybe it's time for you and your husband to reacess this situation, be mature and admit that maybe....just maybe....you overreacted.

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