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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Are you getting de-sensitized by the word bully?

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Honestly, I kind of am :-/ ONLY because if someone's child gets told they dont like them, they're 'getting bullied', and for many many minor things that is just considered an argument, or kids being kids and having bad attitudes one day or another. It sucks because it makes it very difficult for all involved to tell if it is really bullying going on or an excessive opinion. It de-sensitizes the REAL bullying which should be addressed immediately, and now they take more time because they have to weed through all of the other little bickering called 'bullying'.

Are YOU sick of the over-use of the word 'bully'?

I wanted to add for those that think I am saying bullying is no big deal, it is! Just not ever attack is considered bullying imo.  A child attempted to strangle my son on the bus earlier this year, and I think it was considered an attack. He wasnt continually being attacked, he wasnt even continually talked to by this child, this was a one time offense. I was bullied as a child, at school, on the bus, and at home outside by a few children the next street over. My parents switched schools because I begged long enough (years) and I personally do not agree with that. I think it victimizes a child forever in that situation. I sometimes still feel like the victim of those kids. I wish they would have done more (they tried, and I know this, but they could have done more) and shown the bullies in this case that they weren't going to win, and give me the power back that I deserved as a child. The power over my feelings and myself. It took years to get that back. Again, I clearly know bullying exists. I think too many parents think a simple argument is bullying. If bullying was a simple argument/disagreement/dirty look/one time offense/fighting then every sibling would be a bully.

by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 12:41 AM
Replies (11-20):
maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:38 AM

To give everyone some perspective I want to give you a list of things children (and parents) have reported to me as bullying this year:

  • a child the student didn't know was looking at her in a mean way in the lunchroom- Mom called the principal on that one because I didn't do anything. Not sure what I was supposed to do since she couldn't even tell me who it was. 
  • cursing- A student got hit with a ball in PE and let out an expletive. She was reported for bullying by five different students. 
  • hitting on the bus- This sounds like real bullying. But when watching the bus video, it was clear the child doing the reporting started the whole thing and the "bully" was just trying to get him off. 
  • saying brown hair is prettier than blond-The blond haired child reported that one to the guidance counselor. 
  • saying "I'm coming over to your house to play."- The reporter's younger brother invited the "bully" but she didn't want him to come. 
  • saying your life is rougher than another kid's- They were having a discussion about the worst thing that has ever happened to them. One had a baby sister who died right after birth. The other was taken away from her parents and put in foster care for 2 years. She said something like, "I'd rather have my sister die than go to foster care." Obviously it's pretty insensitive, but it's how she feels. She didn't intend to be mean to the other child.

I'm sure there's more. This is just what I came up with This is one class for one school year. It's a really big problem. 

PinkieRed
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 10:49 AM
Well, tell my now teenage daughter, who WAS actually bullied, at her previous elementary school, that "bully" is an overused word.

She was taunted and harrassed on a daily basis, for several YEARS by the majority of kids in her class, for being biracial in a nearly all white school, and for having a learning disability.

She was called ugly, weird, a freak, and shunned, and mistreated to the point that because of stress, she failed nearly all of her 5th grade classes (her last year at that school before I took her out), even ones she normally excels at, like reading, spelling, and English

Oh, but it was all her fault, for having the "wrong" color skin, and "choosing" to have a learning disability, right???

No one would argue that it's OK for an adult to be subjected to racial harrassment, or really, any harrassment, in the workplace.

Why then is it OK for a vulnerable, impressionable child to suffer the same treatment at school???

My daughter still suffers from self esteem issues, from the bullying, and has needed professional counseling. I regret every day not taking her out of that school sooner.

Seems to me that the parents who believe bullying doesn't exist, or that it's "no big deal" are usually the ones who are raising their kids to mistreat or hate anyone who is "different".
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im23vaughn
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 11:03 AM

I think it's overused. We need to teach our children conflict resolution. There will always be kids who are teased in school. There are always going to be kids who get singled out for some reason. It's life. While I think true bullying is a serious thing, I think the umbrella of what classifies as bullying is too wide & a lot of things that are just part of growing up are place in that umbrella that shouldn't be.

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 11:03 AM
There is a pretty serious bullying problem in my son's first grade class. He is not a target. However, because the school has been so focused on stopping bullying, my son thinks bullying is something its not. The kids were playing tag and he ran into a pole and said he wads being bullied by the girl who was "it". I'm tired of hearing the word. Then I go to school and see an actual bullying situation and the teachers blame the victim.
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steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 11:04 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes, it is very much over used and that creates the problem where school officials don't take swift and immediate action every time that they hear the world bully.  Parents and students need to realize that bullying is a pattern of abuse over a period of time, NOT a one time isolated incident.  Yes, another child hitting your child is wrong, but it isn't bullying and shouldn't be reported as such.

I know that we think that pulling out the bully card for every little incident will get swift action, but it is really hurting the kids who are actual victims of bullying.  Please think twice before you cry bully and remember the story of the boy who cried wolf.

indymom22
by on Mar. 31, 2012 at 11:13 AM
It is absolutely overused. There is a difference between being mean and bullying. The biggest difference is the balance of power. I'm on my phone so can't type out my full response but will come back later.
True bullying is a problem that needs to be reigned in, but we also need to teach our kids how to deal with mean kids and help them realize that not everyone will like them or even be nice to them.
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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Mar. 31, 2012 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting quickbooksworm:

There is a pretty serious bullying problem in my son's first grade class. He is not a target. However, because the school has been so focused on stopping bullying, my son thinks bullying is something its not. The kids were playing tag and he ran into a pole and said he wads being bullied by the girl who was "it". I'm tired of hearing the word. Then I go to school and see an actual bullying situation and the teachers blame the victim.

Sounds more like the poll was bullying him. 


Mama2ETA
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 4:38 PM

Oh honey, please re-read my post. I know  bullying exists. I think it is VERY serious. But the parents and children who blame every little disagreement on 'bullying' take away the effect it has when reporting true bullying. I am sorry your dd went through that. It's horrible, and I myself was bullied for years, had to switch schools  (which i am against, I wanted to at the time, and so my parents moved me, but I think it would have been better to deal with it and get the children to stop rather than run away) because it got so bad and I had severe depression because of it. I still feel it is over used.

Quoting PinkieRed:

Well, tell my now teenage daughter, who WAS actually bullied, at her previous elementary school, that "bully" is an overused word.

She was taunted and harrassed on a daily basis, for several YEARS by the majority of kids in her class, for being biracial in a nearly all white school, and for having a learning disability.

She was called ugly, weird, a freak, and shunned, and mistreated to the point that because of stress, she failed nearly all of her 5th grade classes (her last year at that school before I took her out), even ones she normally excels at, like reading, spelling, and English

Oh, but it was all her fault, for having the "wrong" color skin, and "choosing" to have a learning disability, right???

No one would argue that it's OK for an adult to be subjected to racial harrassment, or really, any harrassment, in the workplace.

Why then is it OK for a vulnerable, impressionable child to suffer the same treatment at school???

My daughter still suffers from self esteem issues, from the bullying, and has needed professional counseling. I regret every day not taking her out of that school sooner.

Seems to me that the parents who believe bullying doesn't exist, or that it's "no big deal" are usually the ones who are raising their kids to mistreat or hate anyone who is "different".


mjande4
by Platinum Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 5:23 PM
1 mom liked this

We are going to have an entire generation of people who can't function normally in the workplace and will move from job to job, because the boss is mean or their coworkers look at them funny or don't invite them to happy hour.

Quoting maxswolfsuit:

I can't even tell you how much I agree with you. 

We are crippling our children by teaching them they've been victimized every time someone doesn't like them. I worry about what will come of society when this generation of kids becomes adults who can't deal with each other because they never to use any coping skills as children. 


LuvingMy3Girls
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2012 at 6:32 PM
Yes. Oh gosh yes. I have a friend who uses the word anytime her dd is told something she does not like. Just because a kid has said something mean or does not care for another kid does note an they are bullying them
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