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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Discipline.... Are you both on the same page?

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 10:55 AM
  • 18 Replies

When I was watching 2 episodes of Super nanny this morning there was something I noticed on both.  The parents weren't in agreement to how to discipline their children.  I don't care what you choose.  I believe you have to have some form of discipline, be together on it and stick with it.  Kids are pretty clever. 

Are you and your husband on the same page when it comes to disciplining your children?

by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 10:55 AM
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SoCalBombshell
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 11:03 AM

Not really, but it works for us that way. 

He's has a lot less patience for "little kid things" than I do (running around the house, being loud, etc), so when he's home, he's the boss. But while he's at work, I make the rules. While the rules may be a little different (I will let them be crazy kids) the important things and the discipline itself are the same.

Like you said, kids are pretty clever ... mine know what they can or cannot do with Dad home.


Cara5
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 11:10 AM

We are not always on the same page.  Sometimes one of us feels that things should be handled differently than the other parent. If one of us is home and makes a call, the other always backs it up, even if there is discussion about doing it differently next time. 

I think that whats more important than being on the same page all the time, is looking like there is only one page to choose from in front of your kids. 

Perfect example: 

Last night dd 10 was showing her ass. Cranky, complaining and generally being unpleasant. Someone made her angry and I hear "stop it jack ass" mumbled under her breath!  WOAH! Lauren and i both jumped on it at the same time and told her to go straight to her room.  She shoved her chair back and dropped to the floor and started crying.  

My first thought is "oh, of course, her sugar is low" and tell her to check her sugar.  Lauren cuts in and says "after you go to your room."   

Riley is still crying and we are at a standstill because we have just issued contradictory instructions. 

We stepped into the other room and shut the door and had a quick discussion about which way we were going to deal with things.  Lauren explained that obviously her sugar is not dangerously low, and she called her brother a jack ass, which has nothing to do with low blood sugar. She can check her sugar in her room, and ask for a snack if she needs it or eat something she has up there and if she needs more help, she can have it when shes over her tantrum.  By letting her off the hook for showing her ass because im worried about her blood sugar we are sending the wrong message to all of the kids, not just her. I agreed and we stepped back into the kitchen, I sent riley to her room and Lauren went up a couple minuets later to make sure she had checked her sugar.  It was a tad bit low, but nothing to be alarmed about. 

From the time she called someone a jack ass to us coming back on the same page was less than 3 minutes. 


mom2MDS
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 Most of the time we are on the same page. We try really hard to work together on discipline.

Barabell
by Barbara on Apr. 5, 2012 at 1:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, we're pretty much on the same page. We will back each other up in front of our son, and sometimes we'll discuss a punishment before we implement it.

corrinacs
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 2:17 PM

I wish we were but we aren't.  I've talked to my DH about it and he doesn't seem to want to budge.  He doesn't seem to realize that he's making a big mistake by allowing Caden to do certain things now.

For example, I used to have it so that Caden would go to bed with NOTHING in the form of food/drink.  My DH (he said in despiration....yea right) gave him some crackers to entice him to go to bed.  It worked for that night, and then............you guessed it, we had to give him snacks EVERY NIGHT after that.  I finally put my food down and stopped that!  When he upgraded to a bunk bed, I said no food because I didn't want to mess it up.  Luckily that did the trick. 

That's just one example :/.  Hopefully DH will learn his lesson eventaully :/

mrjonesii
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 2:24 PM

I agree with this.  We have done the same thing.  But not discussing it and making decisions in front of the kids. 

Quoting Cara5:

We are not always on the same page.  Sometimes one of us feels that things should be handled differently than the other parent. If one of us is home and makes a call, the other always backs it up, even if there is discussion about doing it differently next time. 

I think that whats more important than being on the same page all the time, is looking like there is only one page to choose from in front of your kids. 


mrjonesii
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 2:34 PM

I noticed on this show that one parent would always be frustrated at the other.  I actually almost cried with a mom this morning.  She was just so frustrated with dad.  At the end of the show the nanny always have them disciplining the kids the same way. 

smushy79
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 4:20 PM

 Yes

aetrom
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2012 at 4:21 PM
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Not always but we always back each other up...
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StevensCare4u
by on Apr. 5, 2012 at 6:01 PM
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 Absolutly. Even if he thinks im going overboard or I think hes not being hard enough, we still back eachother up. If it needs discussing later we will. But its very important to be on 1 Page.

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