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Natural consequences and school *update*

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:24 PM
  • 49 Replies
My DD9 has a few issues that we are steadily working on. She has been in trouble at school a lot recently for 'goofing off' and 'not taking things seriously'. We've had trouble with this at home as well. I know my DD responds best to natural consequences, but what can they do in school? Teachers have so little they're allowed to do these days. She's been forgetting her homework at school a lot, yet she doesn't get consequences at school except maybe having to walk for 5 minutes at recess. That doesn't phase her anymore, it's been the same punishment since kinder! I told the teacher to send her home with lines or send her to the principal if she keeps acting up. I do things at home as well but DD has trouble connecting the two. I know why she's doing what she's doing and we've talked about it but it's not getting better. Any advice?

*Update*
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and great advice. We have instituted a marble jar for good behavior. When she fills it up she is going to get a bug terrarium. She gets marbles for both good behavior and good attitude. If she has an especially good day she will receive a big marble at the end of the day as well. She is bringing a small notebook to school and will write down everytime the teachers correct her behavior. They must sign it at the end of the day. If the teacher writes that she had an exceptional day she will get a big marble. We've done this for two days and she's enjoying it. She said it is helping her to stop and think about her actions. I'm still not sure about what the punishments will be. We have to keep it simple though, so I'm thinking extra chores and loss of privilages. The teachers are not gung-ho about this but they haven't exactly been fountains of ideas.
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by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
natesmom1228
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:32 PM

Have you talked to the teacher this year? What about keeping her from recess completely? That is the punishment at my sons school. If the kids end up on yellow then they have to put their head down while the other kids go outside for recess.

chinosruca
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:44 PM
My daughter loses recess when you forgets homework.....which hsppens too often. Luckily she doesn't act out in school. Once she did & got sent to the principals office. Never again.
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MommyJDTJ
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Maybe talk to the teacher and instead of walking she has to do the homework during recess.
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MiriRose923
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:07 PM

My daughter is almost 8 and also responds well to natural consequences.  I work at Focus on the Family, and they carry a book called Have a New Kid By Friday - it was very helpful to me!  

kameka
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:03 PM


Quoting natesmom1228:

Have you talked to the teacher this year? What about keeping her from recess completely? That is the punishment at my sons school. If the kids end up on yellow then they have to put their head down while the other kids go outside for recess.

I've talked to the teacher multiple times, including just yesterday.  I told her that DD needs harsher punishments and she seemed to think that it was up to me to dole those out.  I'm fine with helping, but for my daughter to actually pay attention to those punishments they MUST be given by the person whom she commited the 'crime' against, otherwise she writes it off.

Recess is only 15 minutes anyway, and DD seriously needs to be able to run off her excess energy or she will be getting in trouble even more.  I really wish they could do something else.



kameka
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM


Quoting chinosruca:

My daughter loses recess when you forgets homework.....which hsppens too often. Luckily she doesn't act out in school. Once she did & got sent to the principals office. Never again.

DD was sent to the principal once last year.  She came home talking about how nice the principal was.  Ugh.  I told her teacher yesterday that if she sends her she needs to make sure that the princiapl lays down the law, not become best friends.

kameka
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:05 PM


Quoting MommyJDTJ:

Maybe talk to the teacher and instead of walking she has to do the homework during recess.

The way her school works, kids aren't allowed to not move during recess, which is why they walk instead of sit out.  It's part of a 'get kids moving' initiative.

kameka
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 4:06 PM


Quoting MiriRose923:

My daughter is almost 8 and also responds well to natural consequences.  I work at Focus on the Family, and they carry a book called Have a New Kid By Friday - it was very helpful to me!  

I certainly appreciate the reccomendation and I will look in to it more, but it seems that it's a Christian parenting book? 

thebailiffs
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:31 PM
Kameka-
I agree with you a Christian parenting book. PLEASE. Not the place for religion. Post this in a group about religion.
I do not agree with taking away recess. There was to be a better way. Is the school coming up with.
I am curious what you use now. One mom said cleaning the house was a great punishment. I have plenty of house to clean, yes it is more work for me but I will use anything.
Kris_PBG
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 9:35 PM
Forgetting her hw as in forgetting to bring it home or forgetting to turn it in?
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