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Question to moms who have kids in daycare

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:33 PM
  • 46 Replies

I work monday-wednesday, so my daughters are in preschool during those times. I love the daycare, its very convienant because it is 3 blocks from my house. I like almost everyone that works there, and interacts with my kids. My youngest daughter is also in their daycare program. My only "problem" with the daycare isn't so much as a problem, just an aggrevation, and I would like some others thoughts on the matter.

My girls just started daycare about a year ago. Before that, my sister watched them when I had to go to work. I did alot of research on the different daycares//preschools in the area to pick the one that I thought best. One, my sister used to work at, and it was nice but a little out of the way from the way both I and my ex travel for work. The other my exes sister and mother both used to work at and was only a block away from the one my sister used to work at. And the one that they go to, which is where my exes girlfriend works at, and is 3 blocks from my house. 

We ultimately decided to send he girls to this daycare because its so close to where I live, and I am the main caregiver. My exes gf and I do not like each other, and really dont get along, but we always put on a nice face for the kids. Another deciding factor for them going there was because she worked there. Yes, I don't like her, but my kids were familiar with her, and my ex and I both thought that a familiar face might make the transistion easier for them.

When they started going there she was not on the approved list for pick up. She was aware of this, and was ok with the decision because she had just started dating him a few months earlier. Well a few times she did take the girls home on their dads weekend, and no one told me about it. I only found about it because my daughters slipped and told me. I was FURIOUS! They didnt call to ask me, they didn't call and ask my ex, they just let her take them beacuse they knew she was dating their dad. I don't feel that this was right. I called and complained to the owner and she said it wouldn't happen again.

Fast-forward to this year. She was put on the list for pick up in case of emergency, It has been almost 2 years and apparently they are getting married next month. My daughter let slip again that the gf MOTHER came to pick her up one day because it was her dads weekend and he was at work, and the gf was off that day. The mother was not on the list, but because she was the gfs mom, she was allowed to pick my daughters up. And more recently, last week, my daughter got sick and started puking in daycare on Friday. It was her dads weekend, but I was off work. NO ONE from the daycare called to let me know she was sick. Instead they made her go down and sit with my exes gf until my other daughter got off the bus. Even if I was at work that day, if my daughter was sick I would have gone home and picked her up instead of making her sit for 4 hours in the daycare still. And again, I only found out because my daughter slipped and told me.

My question is: Am I over-reacting here or am I justified in being upset? What would you do if you were in this situation?

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:33 PM
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:07 PM
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You are very justified in your thinking.  Actually what they are doing is illegal.  I have been a preschool teacher for over 8 years and am now teaching elementary school.  Daycares are suppose to be XTRA careful when handling a split home situation.  You can let the owner know that if someone not on the list takes your child again then you will report them.  Also, if they do not call YOU (since you are the primary) when a child is sick then you will report them.  If my children get sick then I get called because I am the first one on the list.  No matter whos weekend it is, they are required to follow procedure.  You have every right to be furious.  Do NOT let them walk all over you.  The laws are there to protect your children.  You have no idea how many children each year get taken by a family member or someone they know every year.  Please confront them and tell them it better not happen again. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.  If the problem continues, I woudl pull your children out asap and find them a new daycare.  And please report them.   I hope it gets better.

by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:28 PM

I didnt think I was overreacting. I get cci for help with daycare costs, and i did report them to the the cci agency. They called the daycare to discuss the situation, and without knowing, ended up talking to the gf about it. So that solved nothing - other than my ex calling and screaming at me for trying to get the daycare in trouble. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't trying to get them in trouble, but what they are doing isn't right. That when she took them before she was on the list, they were only together for a few months and what if something happened between them and she got pissed and took them from the daycare?! Having her mother pick them up and me not knowing, what if something happened to him or her when they were driving and I didn't know they didn't have my kids, how would I find them, find out who had them? And then with my daughter being sick, instead of calling me to come get her, they made her sit in the daycare for 4 hours before she got to leave. That is not fair to her, what kid wants to sit in daycare when they are sick and puking!? Plus, that is putting the rest of the kids in danger of catching it, and it spreading through the daycare! You aren't even allowed to send your kid to daycare if they have been sick in the last 24 hours, what makes them think its okay to let her stay when she gets sick?!

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:33 PM

o no i dont think ure over reacting at all! i am super anal about thoose pick up lists and i even got on my sons daycare one day because someone new was getting him (they were on the pick list though) but they didnt id them and i was furious. seriously- this your kid- if they dont take it seriously who they are letting them leave with then i wouldnt be able to trust them with my child period. HOWEVER-- with that said- did they contact the childs father and talk with him about who to send her home with??? because in that case yeah id still piss me off but they technically did thier job- they spoke with one of the parents and one of them agreed to the pick up. but if neighter of u was contacted id be raising all kinds of hell!

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:40 PM

I think there are to many people picking up your kids from daycare. Put you, your ex and add his wife to be just as an emergency. The daycare sounds like they would be confused at how many people come in and tell them they are the kids family. I know I would be.Tell them just to follow your list

by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:57 PM

When her mom picked my kids up, I called my ex and asked if he knew, and he said that his gf had just called him and said that she had her mom pick the girls up. So no, neither of us knew ahead of time that she was picking them up. But even at that, after the incident of her picking them up when she wasn't on the list, I told the daycare that I didn't want them leaving with ANYONE other than me or him, unless they had a note from me, or a phone call from me.

The main reason I am mad though is that they made my youngest sit there for 4 hours when she was sick and never even picked up a phone to call me

by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:00 PM

Their pick up list only has me, my ex, his gf, my bf and my gramma on it. My bf because he doesn't go to work til 330 so if the kids got sick he is the closest one to the daycare, and wouldn't have to worry about missing work. so even in that case, they should've called him to get my youngest when she was sick last week instead of making her stay there when sick. He would've been able to bring her home until my oldest got off the bus and the gf was ready to take them back to their dads.

by Lorelai on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Honestly, I would be moving my kids to a different daycare. If my ex had a fit about it, I would go to the courts and explain that the current daycare is breaking the law.
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Switch daycare. The daycare should not be allowing this to happen. They obviously have poor judgement.

by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:05 PM

I have thought about switching daycares, and went back to researching them. The other closest one I didn't like, I havent heard good things about them. And the other one, is out of the way, and my exes sister and mother used to work there - his mom actually ran it before she died. So I don't know that I won't have the same problems there. I don't want to move my daughters, go out of my way, pay more and still deal with the same issues.

With summer coming up, and me only working 3 days a week, and my step mom not working, I am hoping that they will only have to spend limited time at the daycare now. Next year they will both be in school, and will only have to be at the daycare for an hour after school.

by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:27 PM

What they are doing is wrong but will continue.  This is because she is an employee there and seems to be able to do what ever she wants.  The daycare would probably not let them go with a stranger but they know that she is their dad's girlfriend.  The only way to prevent this happening in the future is to change what daycare she goes to and make sure she is not on the pick up list.  

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