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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Question to moms who have kids in daycare

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I work monday-wednesday, so my daughters are in preschool during those times. I love the daycare, its very convienant because it is 3 blocks from my house. I like almost everyone that works there, and interacts with my kids. My youngest daughter is also in their daycare program. My only "problem" with the daycare isn't so much as a problem, just an aggrevation, and I would like some others thoughts on the matter.

My girls just started daycare about a year ago. Before that, my sister watched them when I had to go to work. I did alot of research on the different daycares//preschools in the area to pick the one that I thought best. One, my sister used to work at, and it was nice but a little out of the way from the way both I and my ex travel for work. The other my exes sister and mother both used to work at and was only a block away from the one my sister used to work at. And the one that they go to, which is where my exes girlfriend works at, and is 3 blocks from my house. 

We ultimately decided to send he girls to this daycare because its so close to where I live, and I am the main caregiver. My exes gf and I do not like each other, and really dont get along, but we always put on a nice face for the kids. Another deciding factor for them going there was because she worked there. Yes, I don't like her, but my kids were familiar with her, and my ex and I both thought that a familiar face might make the transistion easier for them.

When they started going there she was not on the approved list for pick up. She was aware of this, and was ok with the decision because she had just started dating him a few months earlier. Well a few times she did take the girls home on their dads weekend, and no one told me about it. I only found about it because my daughters slipped and told me. I was FURIOUS! They didnt call to ask me, they didn't call and ask my ex, they just let her take them beacuse they knew she was dating their dad. I don't feel that this was right. I called and complained to the owner and she said it wouldn't happen again.

Fast-forward to this year. She was put on the list for pick up in case of emergency, It has been almost 2 years and apparently they are getting married next month. My daughter let slip again that the gf MOTHER came to pick her up one day because it was her dads weekend and he was at work, and the gf was off that day. The mother was not on the list, but because she was the gfs mom, she was allowed to pick my daughters up. And more recently, last week, my daughter got sick and started puking in daycare on Friday. It was her dads weekend, but I was off work. NO ONE from the daycare called to let me know she was sick. Instead they made her go down and sit with my exes gf until my other daughter got off the bus. Even if I was at work that day, if my daughter was sick I would have gone home and picked her up instead of making her sit for 4 hours in the daycare still. And again, I only found out because my daughter slipped and told me.

My question is: Am I over-reacting here or am I justified in being upset? What would you do if you were in this situation?

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:33 PM
Replies (11-20):
CrazedMomof2
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:27 PM
I disagree.

They can have as many people on the pick up list as needed. The school needs to CHECK the list and only let approved people pick them up. It's not rocket science. You're either on the list or not.

Is there any way your ex could have called in an approval. I did that last week when the inlaws were in town and wanted to pick up the kids. I called and they were added to the list. Problem solved.


Quoting DixieL:

I think there are to many people picking up your kids from daycare. Put you, your ex and add his wife to be just as an emergency. The daycare sounds like they would be confused at how many people come in and tell them they are the kids family. I know I would be.Tell them just to follow your list

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AlliBeeC
by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 11:39 PM

Even if he calls in to say someone else is picking them up, the daycare is still supposed to check with me because of the previous incidents. Like I said, she is on the list now, so she is allowed. I am just more upset with the fact that when my 4 year old had the flu and was puking, she was forced to stay at the daycare with the gf instead of them calling me or my bf or my ex to pick her up. And had my daughter not slipped and told me that she was puking at daycare and didn't get to leave, I wouldn't have even known.

lillady398
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 3:43 AM

I would run up to the Daycare and let them know that I AM THE KIDS MOTHER and from now on any and everything that goes on with the kids must be brought to my attention.

Cambriagurlmom
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 6:19 AM

I would be ticked. I picked my daycare because of the security and I am glad to say it works. Unfortunally it happened to my ex. He hasn't had a car for almost 6 mo so it's just been me and my dh picking up my daughter. My ex was on his way home from working at his pastors place in his truck when he called and said he would pick up our daughter. No biggie b/c he use to do it every Friday. About 15 min later he came by the house and told me what happened. He forgot the code to the main entrance so he buzzed in. The teacher who came to the door had no clue who he was (she is new) and another teacher from a different room didn't recognize him (she had been gone for 9 mo before his car died) It wasn't until all the kids including our daughter said "that is Jael's dad" did the teachers realize who he was. The double checked his id and let them go. The daycare teachers apologized to me the next Monday but I told them not to worry. I love that all the kids know each and every parent though. They even know my sisters and brother b/c they use to pick up my girls a lot last year.

jmabal71
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:48 AM
I'm a Lead Teacher at a daycare. We have to follow the list! If someone else comes we are required to call the primary parent unless that parent gives consent when child is dropped off in am. We have had to refuse a pickup before. As far as a child being sick...there is NO WAY the child is allowed to stay. Even if it's our own children. A parent is called and it's up to the parent to get someone there in 30 minutes if they can't.

You have every right to be upset.
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maxswolfsuit
by Max on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:58 AM

I think you need to talk to the director of the daycare and let her know how you feel. If they said they would check with you, they need to do it. 

I don't know what your custody arrangement is. But unless you provide the daycare with paperwork from the court stating otherwise, dad can give them permission to have other people pick them up too. 

Lita5202
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:04 AM
Go to the owner or director of the daycare! Tell them you are not happy with what us going on. I wouldn't leave me kids there convienent or not if it happens again. That is illegal and who knows what other laws they are breaking.


Quoting ronjen1117:

You are very justified in your thinking.  Actually what they are doing is illegal.  I have been a preschool teacher for over 8 years and am now teaching elementary school.  Daycares are suppose to be XTRA careful when handling a split home situation.  You can let the owner know that if someone not on the list takes your child again then you will report them.  Also, if they do not call YOU (since you are the primary) when a child is sick then you will report them.  If my children get sick then I get called because I am the first one on the list.  No matter whos weekend it is, they are required to follow procedure.  You have every right to be furious.  Do NOT let them walk all over you.  The laws are there to protect your children.  You have no idea how many children each year get taken by a family member or someone they know every year.  Please confront them and tell them it better not happen again. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.  If the problem continues, I woudl pull your children out asap and find them a new daycare.  And please report them.   I hope it gets better.


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DixieL
by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 8:57 PM


Quoting CrazedMomof2:

I disagree.

They can have as many people on the pick up list as needed. The school needs to CHECK the list and only let approved people pick them up. It's not rocket science. You're either on the list or not.

Is there any way your ex could have called in an approval. I did that last week when the inlaws were in town and wanted to pick up the kids. I called and they were added to the list. Problem solved.


Quoting DixieL:

I think there are to many people picking up your kids from daycare. Put you, your ex and add his wife to be just as an emergency. The daycare sounds like they would be confused at how many people come in and tell them they are the kids family. I know I would be.Tell them just to follow your


You are right, but the name has to be on the list like you said and if someone else comes along that the mom or dad wants to be on the list make sure you add them. It's really dangerous these days for schools. That's why I said what I did

swmmra
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:01 PM

You are justified. They a breaking rules and safety regulations by letting someone not on their pick up list pick them up. This has to stop! You can have them shut down for child endangerment!! This is not ok I so many levels. You need to talk to the owner face to face, not over the phone!

andyroosmama
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:17 PM

 Iv would be more than upset. Number 1 is that nobody but the authorized people are to remove your children from the center because that is your child(ren). How would you know if the GF's mom was going to take them to the ex? Maybe they plotted to take your kids???? (not trying to make you paranoid) Number 2 they should have called you when she was sick... by LAW they have to to keep from spreading the bacteria/virus. I removed my kids from daycare last year and put them with a private sitter since the daycare almost killed my Robbie TWICE. angryI am angry for you

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