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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Helicopter Parents Justified?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:35 PM
  • 13 Replies


Helicopter Moms Aren't as Crazy as We Think

Posted by Julie Ryan Evans

helicopterI'm not sure anyone really considers herself a helicopter parent. Even those of us whose hovering could best a Black Hawk probably don't really think our efforts to keep our kids safe are that extreme. Others, however, love to put any mom with a bottle of hand sanitizer and a bike helmet in hand into this much-maligned category. But make fun if they will because all of that hovering seems to be helping.

According to a recent report from the CDC highlighted in The New York Times, the number of children dying from accidents has dropped 30 percent in the last 10 years. That's a big drop! Who wants to make fun of helicopter moms now?

Of course, it all comes down to perspective, and I only support hovering when it comes to physical safety (parents who fight their kids' battles and go to college with their kids are a whole other matter). But when it comes to taking a few extra steps (things like car seats, helmets, and safety gates) to keep them from dying, what's so wrong with that old adage, "It's better to be safe than sorry"?

I was shocked when I wrote this recent post about the danger of parents holding children on their laps when they go down slides. I never knew there was a risk, and the solution for preventing it is pretty simple -- don't do it, or at least use extreme caution when doing so. I thought it was a nice little safety reminder or head's up, but plenty of commenters thought it was ridiculous and overprotective to even mention it.

Why are we so quick to criticize moms just for wanting to keep our kids safe? No one wants to suck the joy out of their kids' childhood, and yes our kids need to explore the world without a leash. But if a little hovering can prevent that many deaths, then I say rock on, helicopter parents. As long as we keep them alive, we can pay for any necessary therapy later.

Do you think parents get a bad rap for trying to keep their kids safe?

 

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jen113000
by Jenna on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:49 PM

I'm an advocate for car seat safety... my 6 year old is still harnessed and will be for as long as I can have him be that way and I ERF my LO till he was 2, they wear helmets when needed and things like that. At parks I watch them to make sure they are playing nicely and safely. I don't think I'm a helicopter parent. 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:52 PM

As with everything, there are limits and exceptions. There is safety, there is babying and there is just plain LAZY. You need to find a healthy balance.

I hate seeing little toddlers that have been walking a month or two on playgrounds designed for 5yo - 12yo kids while mom sits on her arse on her cell phone. way to ofar away to help if they were to fall, or get run over by bigger kids. However, the Mommy that has to hand hold her 8yo as she crosses the wobbly bridge is taking it too far.

Most of these "helicopter parents" could just use a little common sense.

Parents, if your child comes over and steals my kid's sand toys and tries to run off..KNOW THIS...I am going to stop your child andtake the toy bak. I am NOT going to search the parking lot or the cell phone babes to figure out who Little Jose belongs to while my kid's toy disappears. If you don't want me talking to your child, SUPERVISE THEM!

We havea helicopter Mom at the karate dojo and gymnastics. Her DD does dance and karate and gymnastics.  I have one in Karate and 2 in gymnastics so we see her at both places.  she's 11 yo but runs and crawls in her Mom's lap for a cuddle when she has a "water break". She can't go through one routine without looking for Mom for reassurance. The DD is really good, because she is pushed hard but you can see she is really stressed out too!


corrinacs
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Yes :/.  I am a helicopter mom, and I am proud to admit it.  Witrh my son's severe food allergies, I have to be.  A nut in the yard could send him to the ER instantaneously.  

I am slowly giving him more nad more freedom to do his own things as I see he's able to do so :).  But for right now, I like making sure he's safe :).

BeingMom
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:10 PM

I wouldn't consider myself "helicopter mom"  but if be a little extra vigilant when it comes to my kids safety makes me one, then so be it.  My daughter almost drowned when she was3 years old and I was less than five feet from her and the pool, along with about 6 other adults.  I looked away for a moment and she slipped in.  When I say a moment I literally mean like 10 seconds.  She had those arm floaties on but hat didn't keep her face above the water.  Thank God she was fine and except for being afraid if the water until she was about 7, she is fine.  The first thing she said to me when I pulled her form the water was, "Mommy I thought I could fly, But I was wrong."   So I will take whatever steps I need to to make sure she is safe, but I will do it with out smothering her, and I will do it quietly in the background of her life.  She needs to live after all.   She is 8 and still in a booster seat, she is small and thin for her age, and I feel like when she gets a little heavier than she can ride with out one.  I think their probably is a line that parents need to try not to cross when it comes to keeping our kids safe and not allowing them to have a normal childhood. I let me kids run, I let them feel the wind in their hair, and I let them laugh dance, and jump.  I just do it with a watchful eye. 

Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:21 PM

A lifethreatening allergy does NOT make you  helicoptr Mom. that's a reality and you NEED to do that.

the question is, do you fight his battles on the playground? Do you micromanage his homework? THAT is a helicopter Mom!

Quoting corrinacs:

Yes :/.  I am a helicopter mom, and I am proud to admit it.  Witrh my son's severe food allergies, I have to be.  A nut in the yard could send him to the ER instantaneously.  

I am slowly giving him more nad more freedom to do his own things as I see he's able to do so :).  But for right now, I like making sure he's safe :).


Jinx - Homeschooling Scout & Karate butt-kicking  Mom to Star Scout Ian 1/98, Scout Sean 9/00, Brownie Heidi 4/03. Police wife to Joe and Alpha to my fur baby German Shepherd Spazz.

corrinacs
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:23 PM

No, not even close LOL.  I'll stop a fight obviuosly, but otherwise I let him do his own thing.  He doesn't have homework (yet) so we will see how that goes.

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

A lifethreatening allergy does NOT make you  helicoptr Mom. that's a reality and you NEED to do that.

the question is, do you fight his battles on the playground? Do you micromanage his homework? THAT is a helicopter Mom!

Quoting corrinacs:

Yes :/.  I am a helicopter mom, and I am proud to admit it.  Witrh my son's severe food allergies, I have to be.  A nut in the yard could send him to the ER instantaneously.  

I am slowly giving him more nad more freedom to do his own things as I see he's able to do so :).  But for right now, I like making sure he's safe :).



So proud of all I have....My big boy Caden and my little Leo.

calusari
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I have six children, two of which are in grade school; the younger they are, the more protective I am. I don't care if I am thought of as a helicopter mom; I would rather be thought of as that than a mom who is too busy texting to notice that their kid is about to walk into the street!

I have seen so many parents who are careless with their children's safety, not to mention read in the news about young children who were hurt or taken whie they played outside (3, 4, 5 year olds) alone. I may be overprotective at times, but you won't be hearing about my kid and what happened because I wasn't paying attention...because that doesn't happen.

raven1114
by Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:41 PM
3 moms liked this

There's a difference in keeping your kids safe and in acting like they can't fart without holding your hand.

2rays0fsun
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think car seats & helmets are being a helicopter parent. That's just being safe! The only time I'm a helicopter parent is in big stores. my 5 yr old has to hold onto the cart side and be in my sight. Well, that's also because she would run around dancing and spinning in people's way lol, so it helps control that too. And around streets or busy parking lots. At the playground I let them play and run alone, I just stand or sit in the same area and keep an eye on them.

auroragold
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 4:17 PM

I think that some protections cross the line

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