Would you talk to the teacher first or go directly to the principal?
My 6 year old daughter, Brianna, is in kindergarten. Several times now she's told me of a boy in her class named John. John sings inappropriate songs (songs with sexual content) and makes lewd gestures (such as licking his fingers and then rubbing his nipples, or grabbing his crotch and making a humping motion). I asked my daughter if she tells the teacher, she said she's afraid to because every time she tells John that she is going to tell the teacher he begs her not to and she feels bad. So I've decided to speak on my daughter's behalf but this, in my opinion, is a sign of what could be a serious issue with this boy so I'm unsure of whether I should first speak to the teacher or if I should speak directly to the principal about it. What would you do?
*Oh for added details I don't normally censor my children - except from graphic sexual content, my children are also taught that acting out scenes from a scary movie or repeating anything from what they watch or listen to is not allowed at school because other parents may not allow their children to watch and/or listen to the things they're allowed to watch and listen to. So far they've obeyed this rule.
**Thank you to everyone for your responses. I plan to write an e-mail to the teacher tonight. If I don't hear from her by tomorrow I'll call her (it's usually easier to get ahold of her through e-mail). If my daughter brings it up again, like if it happens again, then I'll go to the school and ask to speak to both the teacher and principal together.
First the teacher and then the principle
I would talk to the teacher first and tell my dd that if someone is doing something that makes her feel uncomfortable that she should tell an adult that she trusts even though the boy is begging her not to.
I would email the teacher and cc: the principal. It is then in writing and both are aware of the inappropriate behavior that has been reported. If this is something that happens repeatedly by this boy to your child, who else in class is subjected to this behavior? There are policies about it. Check your school handbook. You may not know what actions are being taken, due to privacy laws schools are not allowed to speak to a parent about another child, but at least you know it was reported.
(fyi- it is amazing what kids pick up, often at home from older siblings, tv, movies etc. Last yr a 2nd grader in my daughter's class told a girl to "sit on my face." Thankfully most kids don't understand what that means. And I was glad it wasn't my daughter he said it to.)
Yea that's what I told her tonight. Her dad and I both talked to her and told her she needed to tell someone, we told her if she felt bad and didn't want to talk to an adult then she could always tell her sister who is in the class across the hall from her. Her sister will not hesitate to tell someone, she is fiercely protective of her younger siblings.
Quoting s.adams83:I would talk to the teacher first and tell my dd that if someone is doing something that makes her feel uncomfortable that she should tell an adult that she trusts even though the boy is begging her not to.
That;s good.
Quoting anon1986East:Yea that's what I told her tonight. Her dad and I both talked to her and told her she needed to tell someone, we told her if she felt bad and didn't want to talk to an adult then she could always tell her sister who is in the class across the hall from her. Her sister will not hesitate to tell someone, she is fiercely protective of her younger siblings.
Quoting s.adams83:I would talk to the teacher first and tell my dd that if someone is doing something that makes her feel uncomfortable that she should tell an adult that she trusts even though the boy is begging her not to.
Mom of four
that's good she has a sister like that.
Quoting anon1986East:Yea that's what I told her tonight. Her dad and I both talked to her and told her she needed to tell someone, we told her if she felt bad and didn't want to talk to an adult then she could always tell her sister who is in the class across the hall from her. Her sister will not hesitate to tell someone, she is fiercely protective of her younger siblings.
Quoting s.adams83:I would talk to the teacher first and tell my dd that if someone is doing something that makes her feel uncomfortable that she should tell an adult that she trusts even though the boy is begging her not to.
I am a teacher and would prefer that the parent contact me first. That way I am aware of the situation and can keep a closer eye on the situation. If I see any strange behavior, I can document it, report it to the principal and our guidance department. The last thing that I would want is for your daughter or you be put in a situation that would make you uncomfortable. SInce, I am the one with direct contact with the students on a daily basis, I feel it is important that I know right away. Administrators do not have constant interactions with the students like the teachers do. I hope this helped. Good luck with this situation. It sounds like this little boy is going to need some help.
I would talk to the teacher first, I would explain the problem and tell them it's been going on for a while. That way the teacher can keep a closer eye on the boy and keep track of any issues. It sounds like he's learning things that aren't age appropriate and the teacher and school staff will have to find out from where.
Age appropriate chores
- anon1986East
on Apr. 30, 2012 at 9:32 PM