To *not* put DD in the same class as another student?
DD is in K and I turned in her 1st grade registration at the same school for next year.
The thing is, they try to place friends in the same classes. My DD is "best friends" with two girls. One of them she was in pre-K with and is a really sweet kid. The other girl DD met in K. That's the girl I'm concerned about.
She's not a "bad" kid... but she does bully the other kids in class, and it's rubbing off on DD... DD is very social, friendly and always was. But lately the teachers say DD is telling kids she "hates them" and yelling sometimes. When I talk to DD about it she tells me "I don't like so-so". When I ask her why, she says "Well T* doesn't like him/her so we don't let him/her play house with us". etc. I had to explain to DD she should be nice to all her friends.
T* is also getting red for behavior several times a week because she acts out and doesn't play nice. (green-red behavior system). DD usually gets green, but began to get yellow-orange. After I talked to the teachers, at their suggestion they wanted to move T* chair away from DD, and not allow T* and DD to sit together on the rug. So they did and immediately DD went back to green. Of course, I also talked to DD and made her take responsibility for her own behavior.
Anyways, the teachers said DD is starting to only want to play with T* and not playing nice with kids. IDK. DH told me just ask the school not to be in a class with T*. But I feel guilty doing that. I also feel a bit like a helicopter mom... lol am I picking and choosing DD's friends already??? She and T* love each other. What would you do?
I would focus more on talking to your DD about how a friend acts and what is nice vs mean and TEACH your dd to be a nice person. Don't allow her to act like a snot, make consequences for negative behaviors.
this.
Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:
You can ask...they will consider it but it doesn't guarantee anything.
I would focus more on talking to your DD about how a friend acts and what is nice vs mean and TEACH your dd to be a nice person. Don't allow her to act like a snot, make consequences for negative behaviors.
Speaking as a teacher. You can surely make a request. Put it in writing and send it to the teacher/principal. Sometimes though requests can be honored, sometimes not. It is funny because I have gotten requests many times where one parent request they be put together and the other request that they be separated! LOL. If the the teacher has had to separate them in class, she probably would honor the request to separate them next year to give your DD the chance to branch out and meet different children.
You could always talk to the school, but it will be up to the school. Some schools put students in different classes randomly and others do it for reasons (for example the school may try to make classes have an equal number of boys and girls). To be honnest with you, I would let it go and address the issue next year. I was in a kinder classroom, twice a week, for four months. My mentor often switched kids' seats around. Sometimes it was because two students didn't get along, other times it was because two friends got each other in trouble. Next year will be a new year. I would encourage your dd to be a problem solver. If a friend doesn't want to play, find a new friend. If a friend is talking to her at inappropriate times, tell the friend, "Let's talk later so we do not get in trouble." Hope everything goes well for your dd!
I would say ask. I doesn't hurt to ask. Just expect that they may not be able to grant your request.
My school takes requests such as that and will take them into consideration if there is a good reason for it. When my son was in K he became good friends with another boy in the class. However, this other boy was not a good influence on my son in regards to listening and paying attention. The mom of the other boy admitted to me that her son has ADHD and that was driving some of his issues. Anyway, my son had some major behavior issues especially during the second half of K. Now in 1st grade the two boys are in separate classrooms and it has been a lot better for my son. It wasn't by our request but I suspect by suggestion of his K teacher. My son still has had some behavior issues in 1st that we have continued to deal with, but it's been a lot better than it was in K.
So I say make the request for your daughter. Of course you will still continue to work with your daughter on what is appropriate behavior. However, based on my experience, it will be much easier to teach her those lessons without the distraction of the other child. FTR, my son is still friends with that other boy and they still play together at times during recess, so it's not like they are completely separated. It just keeps that distraction out of the classroom where it matters most.
I'd ask the teacher if she could put in that request. Parent requests are considered, but a teacher's has more weight. When ds1 was in 3rd gr, he and his best friend were in the same class and, in the teacher's words, "they had a hard time making good choices". She was the one who requested they not be in the same class the next yr, and sure enough, they were in separate classes. I'm not so sure that would've happened if it had been just me and dh requesting it.
I didn't think about the other parent requesting they be together Lol! I was going to just go in. but putting it in writing sounds like a good idea. thanks :)
Quoting MB13:Speaking as a teacher. You can surely make a request. Put it in writing and send it to the teacher/principal. Sometimes though requests can be honored, sometimes not. It is funny because I have gotten requests many times where one parent request they be put together and the other request that they be separated! LOL. If the the teacher has had to separate them in class, she probably would honor the request to separate them next year to give your DD the chance to branch out and meet different children.
I've been talking with the teacher, but I'm not sure who puts the classes together. I turned in the registration to the office and was told I would get a letter from the district about which class she's in. Our school has a Parent Liasion and I was considering approaching her.
Quoting coolmommy2x:
Can you talk to the teacher? In our school, you aren't allowed to request that your kids be with friends or specific teachers. Last year DS had an issue with 2 boys in his class (one the boys resolved on their own). I knew the teacher would not put them in the same class this year (and she didn't...in our districts, the teachers put the classes together) but I sent a note to the principal stating that DS could not be with them. I didn't get into specifics, I knew the principal would go to the teacher with questions and like I said, I knew the teacher wouldn't do that, I just felt the need to put my request in writing.
Thanks. I suspected the other girl may have ADHD. I guess it's part of the reason I felt guilty, because I felt T* will need a chance to learn to make friends and get along with other students like DD. I don't know if it makes sense to feel guilty about that but I do. The teachers did say T*'s mom isn't interested in what's going on.... But what you described is what i'd like to happen - that they can be friends just not distracting each other in the same class :)
Quoting Traci_Momof2:I would say ask. I doesn't hurt to ask. Just expect that they may not be able to grant your request.
My school takes requests such as that and will take them into consideration if there is a good reason for it. When my son was in K he became good friends with another boy in the class. However, this other boy was not a good influence on my son in regards to listening and paying attention. The mom of the other boy admitted to me that her son has ADHD and that was driving some of his issues. Anyway, my son had some major behavior issues especially during the second half of K. Now in 1st grade the two boys are in separate classrooms and it has been a lot better for my son. It wasn't by our request but I suspect by suggestion of his K teacher. My son still has had some behavior issues in 1st that we have continued to deal with, but it's been a lot better than it was in K.
So I say make the request for your daughter. Of course you will still continue to work with your daughter on what is appropriate behavior. However, based on my experience, it will be much easier to teach her those lessons without the distraction of the other child. FTR, my son is still friends with that other boy and they still play together at times during recess, so it's not like they are completely separated. It just keeps that distraction out of the classroom where it matters most.
Cameras on buses *UPDATE*
- 2rays0fsun
on May. 1, 2012 at 12:36 PM