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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Helicopter Parents (related to another post/reply)- why do you care?

 I've seen that phrase on here & I've read the post about it but I'm wondering why do people care?  It's not your kid.  It sounds like a lot of judgment when some people see it & people comment about it, but why do you care how so much how someone else raises their kid?  How is it important to you if someone goes & feeds their child or watches them play at school?  Or whatever it is they're doing that's considered helicopter parenting.  What effect does that have on your day?  I mean apparently it's a good conversation topic to criticize other parents instead of attempting to find out why they're acting that way (i.e., mental or physical limitations/issues) & act like you're better than them.  But what impact does it have on your life & the lives of your children?  Some of you talk about the type of kids that are being raised but again how does that effect your family?  So you raised your child & weren't a helicopter parent does that hurt your kids because society now has those kids?

And I always find it interesting if a teacher on here complains.  So you complain about the helicopter parents but then if a parent isn't involved in their child's education & blows you off then you complain as well.  Seems to me you'd want a parent interested, even if overly so, than one who doesn't give a crap. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Replies (141-150):
momofpreemieboy
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:28 AM

I hover big deal  my son is a miracle he was born too soon and is perfectly healthy. So why wouldn't I watch over him carefully. He means the world to me and my husband as do our other children that we hovered over. The ones who are adults thank us for caring enough to make sure they stayed safe when they were too young to know what to do. I will always hover. That is what the term helicopter parent means. I have an aspergers syndrom child and yes I hovered and he now acts just like so called normal kids his age. So hover mamas it does not affect the other moms and always be involved in your childs schooling.

mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 7:27 PM

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

I hover big deal  my son is a miracle he was born too soon and is perfectly healthy. So why wouldn't I watch over him carefully. He means the world to me and my husband as do our other children that we hovered over. The ones who are adults thank us for caring enough to make sure they stayed safe when they were too young to know what to do. I will always hover. That is what the term helicopter parent means. I have an aspergers syndrom child and yes I hovered and he now acts just like so called normal kids his age. So hover mamas it does not affect the other moms and always be involved in your childs schooling.

 well said!

Karen_S
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Haven't read all the replies, so I might be repeating but...why do you care why they care?  Not to be silly, but if you don't like parent's who criticize other parents...aren't you doing it yourself?  Why is it *not* OK for them to complain about helicopter parents, when it isn't their business, but it *is* OK for you to complain about them for having opinions. If you don't like moms complaining and judging each other, then shouldn't that hold for you, too?

Rlmama00
by Member on May. 5, 2012 at 9:55 PM
It does impact all of us. Schools and sports teams have to change and create new policies and rules to deal with helicopter parents. Many moms on here volunteer in the classrooms, scouts, sports, etc. and they have to deal with their nonsense one on one and it can be draining. I taught dance for many years and you would not believe some of the things I have seen. It would blow your mind.
mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 10:43 PM

 interesting point.  even more interesting is the ones who complain & criticize helicopter parents didn't point that out.  i guess that should tell you something.  i asked a question about why they care & the ones who are vocal about it have criticized and judged instead of saying why they care.  some have said it doesn't personally effect them or directly but it will affect society in the future.  oh & i never said it was okay for me to do so.  and if i recall & i read my post again correctly i didn't say it wasn't okay for them either.  what i asked is why do they care & how does it affect them?

i'm sorry.  i didn't answer your question at first like you didn't answer mine.  it's not that i care so much as i don't understand why moms bash & criticize other moms, especially online, when they could just as easily do what they proabably ask of their kids...not to overeact or jump to conclusions.  ask if they don't know the answer as to why someone does something.  i'm going to continue to parent the way i see fit.  but since certain people talk about helicopter parents as if they're the scum of the earth i wanted to know why do they care so much if it's not their kid.   

Quoting Karen_S:

Haven't read all the replies, so I might be repeating but...why do you care why they care?  Not to be silly, but if you don't like parent's who criticize other parents...aren't you doing it yourself?  Why is it *not* OK for them to complain about helicopter parents, when it isn't their business, but it *is* OK for you to complain about them for having opinions. If you don't like moms complaining and judging each other, then shouldn't that hold for you, too?

 

momofpreemieboy
by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you!high five

Quoting mommy2cristian:

 

Quoting momofpreemieboy:

I hover big deal  my son is a miracle he was born too soon and is perfectly healthy. So why wouldn't I watch over him carefully. He means the world to me and my husband as do our other children that we hovered over. The ones who are adults thank us for caring enough to make sure they stayed safe when they were too young to know what to do. I will always hover. That is what the term helicopter parent means. I have an aspergers syndrom child and yes I hovered and he now acts just like so called normal kids his age. So hover mamas it does not affect the other moms and always be involved in your childs schooling.

 well said!


Mama2ETA
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 11:53 PM

Well why does it bother you that it bothers other moms that there are helicopter parents? huh, huh? (I'm totally kidding in a taunting kind of way) 


Really though, for society as a whole, its better to try to cut down/stop helicopter parenting now, rather than let it continue/get worse. My children will be effected by those children when they become adults, and it's not right when more kids than not are too dependent on anyone that will hold their own for them. And when saying its more about elementary kids than older, I understand that, but as someone else has said, it is harder to break that type of cycle once it is established. Better to not start it. Being dependent as an elementary student and younger doesnt mean you have helicopter parents, it means they are normal children, but establishing a certain amount of independence at a young age IS important.

Quoting mommy2cristian:
mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2012 at 11:57 PM

 lol!  well said!  bravo!

Quoting Mama2ETA:

Well why does it bother you that it bothers other moms that there are helicopter parents? huh, huh? (I'm totally kidding in a taunting kind of way) 

 

Really though, for society as a whole, its better to try to cut down/stop helicopter parenting now, rather than let it continue/get worse. My children will be effected by those children when they become adults, and it's not right when more kids than not are too dependent on anyone that will hold their own for them. And when saying its more about elementary kids than older, I understand that, but as someone else has said, it is harder to break that type of cycle once it is established. Better to not start it. Being dependent as an elementary student and younger doesnt mean you have helicopter parents, it means they are normal children, but establishing a certain amount of independence at a young age IS important.

Quoting mommy2cristian:

 

rnr1583
by on May. 6, 2012 at 1:26 AM
1 mom liked this

ok ive read most of these posts and i would have to disagree withjust about all of them. To me being a helicopter parent has nothing to do picking out clothes cutting up food etc. and everything to do withnot giving your child full run. For example letting them run the streets go whereever they want whenever they want with who ever they want etc. How do i know this? Because i am a helicopter parent and damn proud of it! My mom ws one too and i turned out just fine. In fact i think i turned out better then most of the kids i grew up with because i was never arrested didnt do drugs go to wild drinking parties or get pregnant in high school. Did i miss out on a few things growing up? Sure i did but now i am thankfuil for all of the bad things i missed out on too/ My kids get mad at me all the time because i wont let them run wild like the other kids in our neighborhood but id rather have a mad safe kid then a happy hurt one!!!

Rlmama00
by Member on May. 6, 2012 at 6:20 AM
Quoting rnr1583:

ok ive read most of these posts and i would have to disagree withjust about all of them. To me being a helicopter parent has nothing to do picking out clothes cutting up food etc. and everything to do withnot giving your child full run. For example letting them run the streets go whereever they want whenever they want with who ever they want etc. How do i know this? Because i am a helicopter parent and damn proud of it! My mom ws one too and i turned out just fine. In fact i think i turned out better then most of the kids i grew up with because i was never arrested didnt do drugs go to wild drinking parties or get pregnant in high school. Did i miss out on a few things growing up? Sure i did but now i am thankfuil for all of the bad things i missed out on too/ My kids get mad at me all the time because i wont let them run wild like the other kids in our neighborhood but id rather have a mad safe kid then a happy hurt one!!!




That's not what a helicopter parent is at all. Helicopter parents are the type of parents that fight their children's battles for them, still tie their shoes when they are in middle school, practically do their homework for them to ensure a good grade, call the school to have their child's grade changed, call their teen/adult child's boss to complain about things etc. Its protective parenting to an extreme and does not always end when the child becomes an adult. It goes beyond the over protective parenting style and can do more harm than good. You and a few of the posters just seem like moms that are loving, caring and protective which is great.
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