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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

Helicopter Parents (related to another post/reply)- why do you care?

 I've seen that phrase on here & I've read the post about it but I'm wondering why do people care?  It's not your kid.  It sounds like a lot of judgment when some people see it & people comment about it, but why do you care how so much how someone else raises their kid?  How is it important to you if someone goes & feeds their child or watches them play at school?  Or whatever it is they're doing that's considered helicopter parenting.  What effect does that have on your day?  I mean apparently it's a good conversation topic to criticize other parents instead of attempting to find out why they're acting that way (i.e., mental or physical limitations/issues) & act like you're better than them.  But what impact does it have on your life & the lives of your children?  Some of you talk about the type of kids that are being raised but again how does that effect your family?  So you raised your child & weren't a helicopter parent does that hurt your kids because society now has those kids?

And I always find it interesting if a teacher on here complains.  So you complain about the helicopter parents but then if a parent isn't involved in their child's education & blows you off then you complain as well.  Seems to me you'd want a parent interested, even if overly so, than one who doesn't give a crap. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Replies (31-40):
Jinx-Troublex3
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:11 PM
Nope, you don't put a boy in Boy scouts and expect them just to be entertained. At least NOT if the program is run properly. Parents know the expectation up front.

Then the helicopter parents try and have the program changed to accommodate their special snowflake and that mommy and daddy want to all but wipe Johnnys butt @@...makes my job of education, leading and training self-sufficient, motivated leaders near impossible and undermines my authority to the whole troop when one boy or family expects special treatment.

I couldn't imagine the damage over-stepping parents create in a teacher.


Quoting mommy2cristian:

 that may be true in that sense but do you think some parents put their kids in boy scouts as a way for them to be involved or do something instead of responsibility?  you know like when you send your kid to summer camp?  sometimes people aren't thinking like that & only in terms of keeping their child busy. 


Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

I'm with Steel on this one...I see it all the time with my boy scouts. Boy Scouts requires the boys to step up and take rsepnsibility for their progress. I always have parents coming up andasking why Johnny isn't getting rank or bringing me his book and asking me to sign it off. SORRY, I will not touch it unless Johnny brings it to me.

Or they pack his backpack...and Johnny can't find his flashlight on the campout because he didn't pack himself. I've had parents overpcak and make the bag so heavy their scout couldn't carry it themselves into camp.

You put them in a program where you want them to learn responsibility, you need to step back and ALLOW them to learn it.

 


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mom2MDS
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:12 PM

I care because some of these helicopter parents are so bad that their children are terrible. My son has a child on his soccer team and the parents hover over him so much that he won't even go out on the field to play the game. It holds back the team because he is not doing his share and the rest of the kids are having to pick up the slack.

Cindy18
by Cruella on May. 2, 2012 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry. It seems like someone on here must have really offended you. But you are taking the term totaly out of context, IMO. It's not being a helicopter parent if your help and involvement is age appropriate. When it becomes INappropriate, then it's a problem. AND before you start a debate about "what" is age appropriate, common sense dictates that. Ordering & cutting your child food at 5 is age appropriate parenting but NOT at 15. Picking out your child's clothes is age appropriate at 5 but NOT at 15. ETC, ETC, ETC.
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steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:21 PM

Doing things for your child isn't being a helecopter parent.  Doing things for your child that they are quite capable of doing for themselves is.  There is a fine line there though.  Like a 5 year old cooking their dinner alone is crazy, yet letting your 5 year old help you cook dinner is what you should be doing so that they are learning how to be self sufficient instead of realying on you.  It is all about giving your children age appropriate freedoms and responsibilities, that is the only way that an 18 year old is going to know how to care for themselves in college.

Quoting mommy2cristian:

 But that child who can't do anything doesn't impact you based on what you're saying.  You might find it distasteful but you're not the one helicoptering.  I get where the point is if they don't work & stuff like that.  And it can magically stop.  We all are helicopter parents at one point in our children's lives & *poof* it magically stops.  lol.  when you think about it we do everything for our kids & as they grow most of us stop.  :)

Quoting Cindy18:

I have to agree with the others. It does effect me and mine because helicopter parents create a child that becomes an adult that can't do anything for themselves. I have children in the high school and believe me they are there too!!! It doesn't just magicaly stop at elemenatry school. *poof*

 


steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I was wondering who pissed in her Cheerios as well.

Quoting Cindy18:

I'm sorry. It seems like someone on here must have really offended you. But you are taking the term totaly out of context, IMO. It's not being a helicopter parent if your help and involvement is age appropriate. When it becomes INappropriate, then it's a problem. AND before you start a debate about "what" is age appropriate, common sense dictates that. Ordering & cutting your child food at 5 is age appropriate parenting but NOT at 15. Picking out your child's clothes is age appropriate at 5 but NOT at 15. ETC, ETC, ETC.


 

I'm feeling wicked!

mjande4
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:25 PM
Quoting Traci_Momof2:

I'm with steelcrazy and barabell on this one.  My concern comes in the form of concern for society as a whole.  As more and more parents buy into the fear (perpetuated by our media) and become helicopter parents, more and more kids are growing up to be adults who can't do a damn thing for themselves.  They aren't contributing members of society and rather are a drain on society and our resources.  That will affect me and my kids.


My sister works at a university and she sees the effect of helicopter parents on the students at the university.  They don't know how to do their own registrations, fill out their own forms, go to a laundromat and do their own damn laundry.  They are college students - ADULTS - and they don't know how to do basic life tasks without Mummy or Daddy holding their hand.  Tell me how that's possibly good for society.


I got my very first job when I was 16.  My mom never went with me to the job interview.  Sure, she coached me a bit at home before-hand.  But she never went to my job interviews, never filled out my job applications, never "took" me to college, never did my college registrations, never called my college.  Those were my responsibility, not hers.


You ask why it matters at the grade school age?  Because that's where it starts.  If you want a college student who can do their own registrations, you need a grade school student who can be responsible for his own homework.  If you want a college student who remembers to get to class on time, you need a grade school student who can get up and get dressed on their own in the morning.  You don't just suddenly grant responsibility on the 18th birthday.  It is slowly given bit by bit over the entire 18 years so that once they hit 18 and graduate HS they can hit the ground running with no issues.  The responsibility isn't overwhelming because they've already had it for some time.



AMEN sister!! Very well stated!!
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:26 PM

OP - maybe as your children grow up a little bit, you will begin to see what we are talking about.  When the kids are little it is very difficult to imagine not doing everything for them, but you eventually do begin to let go and give them more responsibility and this typically happens in early elementary school.

mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:32 PM

 lol.  admittedly i don't know anything about girl or boy scouts.  lol.  but i'd wager that for centuries there have been helicopter parents just like there's parents who aren't as extreme or don't do anything at all. 

Quoting Jinx-Troublex3:

Nope, you don't put a boy in Boy scouts and expect them just to be entertained. At least NOT if the program is run properly. Parents know the expectation up front.

Then the helicopter parents try and have the program changed to accommodate their special snowflake and that mommy and daddy want to all but wipe Johnnys butt @@...makes my job of education, leading and training self-sufficient, motivated leaders near impossible and undermines my authority to the whole troop when one boy or family expects special treatment.

I couldn't imagine the damage over-stepping parents create in a teacher.


mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM

 huh.  sounds like they need another player & to put that one on the bench instead of catering to the parent. 

Quoting mom2MDS:

I care because some of these helicopter parents are so bad that their children are terrible. My son has a child on his soccer team and the parents hover over him so much that he won't even go out on the field to play the game. It holds back the team because he is not doing his share and the rest of the kids are having to pick up the slack.

 

mommy2cristian
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:40 PM

 huh.  & here I thought I was being respectful in explaining my responses.  I'm not taking it out of context because 1/2 of the examples given are about elementary kids & not older ones.  The posts I've seen & even the articles posted are about YOUNGER kids not older ones.  No one pissed in anything of mine until this comment & quoted agreement.  Surprising that it come from the group moderators but I'll back out since apparently it's a problem with me trying to respond without being insulting.  Thanks.

Quoting steelcrazy:

I was wondering who pissed in her Cheerios as well.

Quoting Cindy18:

I'm sorry. It seems like someone on here must have really offended you. But you are taking the term totaly out of context, IMO. It's not being a helicopter parent if your help and involvement is age appropriate. When it becomes INappropriate, then it's a problem. AND before you start a debate about "what" is age appropriate, common sense dictates that. Ordering & cutting your child food at 5 is age appropriate parenting but NOT at 15. Picking out your child's clothes is age appropriate at 5 but NOT at 15. ETC, ETC, ETC.


 

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