Have your kids ever been cut from a team or not been successful at an audition? How have you handled it?

[mjande4]

This article got me thinking about all the "feel good" awards, trophies, and ceremonies in elementary school.  The real world of sports and performing arts, even for young kids, can be brutal.  Have your kids experienced disappointment?  How have you helped them deal with it? 

http://thestir.cafemom.com/teen/137157/mom_sues_coaches_who_cut?next=21

[steelcrazy]

My boys have only had to deal with that during the Cub Scout pinewood derby.  The top 3 winners from each rank get to advance from the Pack level to the district level, and then from the district level the top 3 of each rank move onto the council level.  We've always explained that not everyone gets to advance, and that next year you will have to try harder.  I also think that the Cub Scout motto "Do your best" really does apply hear.  My boys know that as long as they do their best that they should be proud.

When I was in middle and HS and trying out for cheerleader and spots on competitive dance teams, my mom would always have a bouquet of flowers waiting for me when the try-out/audition was over.  Win or lose, I knew that I was still somebody special and I knew that those flowers would be waiting on the kitchen table at home.

[Mom2jngnc]

 My 12 yr old got cut from modified soccer last Sept. He was crushed, not because he didn't make it but because teh way the coach made his decision, and a comment he made after.

He lined the boys up by alphabetical order, and took the first 25 with a few exceptions. Many of the boys taken, shocked recreation coaches that my son had had over the years (as they had coached many of the kids). When all was said and done the coach approched him and K, and told them that "if I had 30 you two would have made it."

Several of the boys showed up with work out stuff the next day, and approched teh cross country coach about running. My son was still "sore" and went to help me coach his brothers recreation team.

[chinosruca]

My daughter was taught early that she can't win or be succesful at everything, but she can sure try everything if she wants.

[mjande4]

Quoting steelcrazy:

My boys have only had to deal with that during the Cub Scout pinewood derby.  The top 3 winners from each rank get to advance from the Pack level to the district level, and then from the district level the top 3 of each rank move onto the council level.  We've always explained that not everyone gets to advance, and that next year you will have to try harder.  I also think that the Cub Scout motto "Do your best" really does apply hear.  My boys know that as long as they do their best that they should be proud.

When I was in middle and HS and trying out for cheerleader and spots on competitive dance teams, my mom would always have a bouquet of flowers waiting for me when the try-out/audition was over.  Win or lose, I knew that I was still somebody special and I knew that those flowers would be waiting on the kitchen table at home.

I LOVE the flowers after every audition!! I really believe that auditioning prepares kids for the real world where most things are subjective. I can't imagine suing over being cut!

[Barabell]

My son plays hockey, and at the assocation level they try out for different levels. They always make a team, but my son has not always made as high of a level as he wants. They also play in a lot of tournaments, and this last season was the first time he played for a team that brought home more than on trophy.

We focus mainly on his individual performance and trying his best to improve. Not getting that trophy isn't the end all, but it sure feels good--especially when you have to fight so hard for it. I think if all the teams got trophies, it would deminish the accomplishment of when they're on a team that finally does receive that trophy.

My son also plays on a summer AAA hockey team, and you can only make it if you try out for it. Last summer, my son was the worst kid on the team, and unfortunately he knew it. Honestly, I'm surprised he made the team. He was leaving the first few practices saying that he sucked, but instead of giving up, he pushed himself to improve. He's now a middle of the road player on the summer league, and I'm hoping by next summer that he'll be towards the top since he's shown the drive to push himself to improve.