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Would you ask someone to change......

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Would you ask someone to change the way the dress because you don't want to explain something to your children?

Here is what brought up this question.

I am a mom of three girls that just so happened to have to have a mastectomy six years ago.  I chose not to have reconstructive surgery done due to the high risk of infection (it was an infection that caused me to have to have the surgery).  I have no problems with the way I look nor does most people around me, however I have had two different neighbors ask me not to wear tank tops outside because it has made their children ask questions as to why I only have one breast.  I refuse to buckle and change the way I dress or have reconstructive surgery done to make my neighbors happy.  So comes the question would you ask someone to change so you don't have to explain something to your children?  And I never dress inappropriately I am always covered completely so it's not like I am trying to bring notice to the fact I have had it done.

by on May. 8, 2012 at 11:25 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2012 at 10:47 PM
I would MUCH rather explain that to
My children than ask someone to change how they dress. That person has bigger balls than I!
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by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 12:25 PM

No I'd explain that you had been very sick with breast cancer and the only way the doctor could help you get better was to remove your breast. 

Quoting wendythewriter:

For that? No. I'd do my job as a mom and explain to my sons that there are all kinds of illnesses and diseases that can lead to having to have surgery to have something removed, and sometimes that something is a breast. I'd remind them that things like that make no difference to who a person is, and be done with it.

Now, I could see if someone dressed really inappropriately (I'm talking like a mini skirt with nothing underneath), asking them not to dress that way when they come to my home. I feel I have that right, just as they have the right to refuse my request - which then gives me the right to send them on their way when they show up dressed like that in front of my sons.

In general, I think most people need to get over expecting everyone to conform to them. Aside from asking someone who's dressed very inappropriately not to come visit me at home (or to leave my home), I have no right to tell anyone how to dress. As long as they have clothes on, of course. lol

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:14 PM

No, i wouldn't. I

'd just explain it as this..each individual person is an INDIVIDUAL person and their body or clothes (or whatever) is how they are made or are unique.  Would someone else want you to wear an eye patch because you have a glass eye that looks creepy? There's NO difference.

by on May. 9, 2012 at 2:19 PM
Agreed! I think that's horrible of them!

Quoting CrazedMomof2:


I would look it as a learning experience and move on. We are all different and that is okay. If we were all the same that would be boring!

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by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:25 PM
Nope and I wouldn't change if I were you either. That's rude of them to ask.
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by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:34 PM

Are you kidding me?!

No, I wouldn't change the way I dress and I would have sharp words for those people.

by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:47 PM

Heck no I wouldn't, especially in a situation like yours.

by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah those are some rude people.... I'd tell them to kiss my one boobied hiney and wear whT you want. What they should be telling their daughters is that you chose your health over conforming to society's idea of womanhood... You are a warrior and a beautiful example of the true strength of a woman... much more than any saline implant will ever be! Rock those tank tops girl!!!!!
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by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:37 AM
That is sad. I would be more than willing to explain it to my kids. Teaching them about breast cancer and/or health issues is part of life. My friend just had a double masectomy and when my boys gave her a hug we explained that they needed to be very gentle and why.

So sorry you have such ignorant neighbors!

Quoting RedneckMomma3:

From what the people told me they don't have a problem with the clothes themselves it's the one breast they don't want to explain.  In both cases it was moms with daughters that have asked me to wear baggier clothes so it doesn't show and they won't have to explain that sometimes people have to have it done.

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by on May. 10, 2012 at 12:41 AM

wow that's rude! they need to parent up and explain things to their kids. it's not a weird thing to talk about, it's life! and you have every right to wear a tank top if it's comfy! i wouldn't ask anyone to change what they wear, whether i agreed with them or not. 

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