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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

HELP! 7 1/2 yr old DD has developed some upsetting behavior..

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My daughter is in 2nd grade and for the past few days has developed this fascination with sex. We strictly monitor what she watches on TV so she did not pick this up at our house. At our house she is allowed to watch Christian shows, Disney and Nickelodeon thats it and some family comedies I DVR (like Family Matters). We have discovered that at her grandmothers house a few weeks ago, her and her cousin played "boyfriend and girlfriend". I was not there.  This cousin is also a girl and 2 years older than her. Her story has changed a couple times on what actually happened but this cousin apparantly educated her a bit on sex and what boys and girls do. My husband caught them pretending they had big boobs and he told them to stop and that it is totally inappropriate and he also told her mother. My daughter now is fascinated with kissing boys (she pretends to do it and does it on the mirror) and she has made some very disturbing comments about sex and that she wants to do it with a boy. I am so upset at this I could cry. My husband is furious and told his sister that our daughter is claiming most of this was picked up by her daughter and that they are no longer to play together and because he has so many neices and nephews (an absurd amount) we now have to be careful about who she plays with even if its family. I am guessing she is picking some of this up at school too but it is impossible to tell if she learned this all from her cousin or a combo of school.

Last night we had a long talk with her and told her she is no longer to ever talk about sex or kissing a boy yet she is still fascinated by it and she keeps telling me she cannot stop thinking about it. I do not know what to do. Should I punish her and send her to her room whenever she talks about kissing a boy or sex? Or ignore it and hope this is just a bad iritating phase and she will eventually stop this. We run a very conservative household so she is picking this up outside of our home. I now am no longer going to listen to regular radio stations as she is hearing some light suggesstive content in popular songs so no more Top 40 music for her. I am at a loss on what to do and to get her to stop thinking and talking about sex.

by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
MommyJDTJ
by on May. 8, 2012 at 2:48 PM
I completely agree! If nothing else you talking to her about it may get her to stop just because she doesn't want to hear about it from her parents. I would say both you and DH sit down with her about it.

Quoting Barabell:

Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.

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mommaFruFru
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2012 at 2:52 PM
If shes wstching sjowd on nick and disney, like icarley and whatnot. Thise showd are loaded up with bf talk. Kussing and what nit. I wouldnt try and blame everything on a 9yo neice
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MiriRose923
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:05 PM

Lots of great guidance in the previous posts.  This is a tough situation, I can't imagine how I would feel if one of my daughters was behaving this way.  You might want to visit Focus on the Family's website as they offer some information about teaching kids healthy sexuality.  Working with Focus, I've found this info to be very helpful as a parent of two girls.  Hope things improve soon!

mommysangelface
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:08 PM

you need to sit down with her. she is at the age where she is going to question things.  the longer you DONT talk about it the more curious she is going to become. and she may start sneaking things.  Talk to her. Have an open conversation with her and be honest with her

mommysangelface
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:09 PM

oh and my ds is 4 and in prek and him and my best friends dd3 pretend they are boyfriend and girlfriend and hold hands and have even given eachother little kisses.  they know it is not allowed if they are not in front of us. 

mommyjenn84
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:10 PM
1 mom liked this
All I can say is if you ignore this and make it some dirty no-no, all youll do is make it a bigger deal for her and make it worse.

Sex ia natural, but its for ADULTS. Im sure shes got questions and if she doesn't yet, she will soon. If you flip out on her about it or make it such a negative deal, she won't feel comfortable talking to you about it... And THAT will make your problem that much bigger. Let her know its for adults only, and having a curiosity about it is fine, but that mommy is there to answer any questions she has... And id never think of punishing her for this. Shes going to hear things from others, it happens, but needs to feel safe coming home and talking to mom about what she hears. Gl
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LadyFreeRider
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:12 PM
I agree with this. She is going to learn about it anyway whether you want her to or not. wouldnt you rather she learn it from her parents and be fully educated instead of learning only the interesting things from her friends?

Quoting Barabell:

Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.

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rnmom4lif
by on May. 8, 2012 at 3:20 PM

my son went through a similar stage at that age- he is now 9 and has totally outgrown that behavior. i was totally freaked out at first really worried about where he got this stuff and what kinds of things were going on when i was not around. incidentaly it was also a cousin that he learned these things from....we actually sat down with both of them (with my SIL too) and tried to answer any questions that they had and talked about appropriate behavior. i dont think its a good idea to ignore it- i really believe that it stems from them hearing bits and peices and being curious and trying to figure things out on there own. ofcourse we definatly dont want them actually trying anything together (this was biggest worry!) so i think its best that we try to ease their curiosity by answering thier questions.....i tried to keep it simple and i  really did add any details that they didnt ask for but i was honest and answered thier questions as best as i could. the other thing we did is we told them loook- now u know what appropraiate we dont expect to see or hear about anything inappropraite or u guys wont be able to hang out together. that one rather uncomfortable talk that we had was worth it though- they never really did anything like that again (that we know of ofcourse). whatever u decide to do....GL!

aetrom
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2012 at 3:31 PM
Jim burns has some great Christian books on sex and sexual purity. You can not stop her from thinking about it, and stopping her from talking about it is dangerous. You want to know what she is dealing with....
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andreahm
by on May. 8, 2012 at 4:15 PM
2 moms liked this

 You are going to give this girl a complex. You have to tell her sex is not dirty but if its your belief that she has to wait until shes married or an adult. However you want to tell her in an age appropriate manner, this girl needs to be talked to about puberty and sex and not punished. Also, if you want her to stop talking about it, YOU have to talk about it, and tell her its not time for her to be thinking about this. But you just keep punishing her and making her feel dirty for being curious, and bad things will happen. My opinion from my own experience when a cousin enlightened me instead of my own mother. Its time for the talk, and I dont mean telling her that she cant think about sex, because if you do that then its all she will think about.

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