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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

ADHD/SCHOOL

Posted by on May. 14, 2012 at 6:22 PM
  • 26 Replies

Hi, I have a ss who is on ADHD medication.  He takes one in the morning before school and one at school.  His teacher will write in his book if he was not focused that day or if he took too long to unpack his bag or was acting too goofy today.  Lately he has not been getting his meds at our home b/c the BM has not provided us with them.   Today the teacher wrote a note and this is not the first time - "has he been taking his meds in the morning?"

Here is my question, at what point is the school overstepping their boundries? I ask because last time he was with us and he did not get his meds in the morning, there were no issues about lack of focus. He did great in school! Just so happens today he struggled a little more in the morning writing down his homework assignment. Teacher said took 15mins.  Keep in mind there have been times where he took his meds and he still got a note in his book about lack of focus or let me quote "had the wiggles during lunch". 

DH told the teacher the issue about us not have the meds to give him and that BM is aware of this but has done nothing to correct this much less respond to our request. I guess I am wondering - what would the teacher do different if he was taking his meds vs. not taking his meds???  I feel so bad for him and believe that there are days we all just have a bad day but fully understand ADHD. 

I guess my question to you is since the teacher is aware he takes morning meds should she be that concerned if he took them knowing there have been times he has taken them and he still takes a little longer to complete assignments. This will probably be the 5th time she has asked.  Again, what is she going to do differently either way??? sorry for rambaling but a little advise from others who deal with this would be great. 

 

 

by on May. 14, 2012 at 6:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
snowangel1979
by Bronze Member on May. 14, 2012 at 6:37 PM
The had the wiggles at lunch- really got me thinking. I didn't think lunch was a structured time?
When she asks is it always on days when he didn't have his meds or like a mix?

If It's a mix she may be singling him out, every child has their good and bad days with or without meds.
I think sometimes these teachers (and parents) expect the meds to be a fix all.
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mwade4
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:22 PM
Quoting snowangel1979:

The had the wiggles at lunch- really got me thinking. I didn't think lunch was a structured time?
When she asks is it always on days when he didn't have his meds or like a mix?

If It's a mix she may be singling him out, every child has their good and bad days with or without meds.
I think sometimes these teachers (and parents) expect the meds to be a fix all.



It's a hit or miss. Which is why I feel like u. This wiggled at lunch had me furious. What kid wouldn't. To make matters worse due to the "couple" of notes the Bm increased his meds. What mom would let a teacher decide that without looking at all other options.
lruggio
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:37 PM

well, I have had to work with my son's teachers regarding medication.  ADHD medication is just a tool...but not a perfect one...some days are better than others...and I needed my son's teachers to be my eyes and communicate with me frequently if we were going to find success.  I appreciated the teachers who took the interest in my son and stayed on top of his behavior and actions..When I received the frequent input from teachers, I coiuld assess our situation better.  If I had to do things differently at home, if I had to speak to the doctor about switching or upping or lowering the dosage.  When one medication works OK for a time, it could all of a sudden not be working as well any more, for whatever reason, and I found that happened .

Now, it was a night and day thing for my son, when he missed his morning pill.  He suffered and the class suffered.  some days, I did not get a bad report if my son missed his pill, but generally speaking, that was rare.  

you all have to figure out who will be getting the medication from this point forward...if the mom is not getting it, perhaps its time to discuss Dad being responsible for it.  the adults need to huddle up and make a plan on how best to care for this kid with ADHD...I had to do this in my family with my son's father and his girlfriend...we all worked together as a team for the best outcome for my son

lruggio
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:43 PM
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"the wiggles at lunch" could have been a nice way of saying that the child was jumping out of his seat and throwing himself around.  I know that my son was capable of that, and I appreciated all input.  I took it and assessed the situation and I even went to the school to observe him without him knmowing...most times the teacher was dead on...but being "nice" about it....before you assume that the teacher is singling this kid out...go to the school and get permission to observe lunchtime without him knowing and then you will know for sure 

Quoting mwade4:

Quoting snowangel1979:

The had the wiggles at lunch- really got me thinking. I didn't think lunch was a structured time?
When she asks is it always on days when he didn't have his meds or like a mix?

If It's a mix she may be singling him out, every child has their good and bad days with or without meds.
I think sometimes these teachers (and parents) expect the meds to be a fix all.



It's a hit or miss. Which is why I feel like u. This wiggled at lunch had me furious. What kid wouldn't. To make matters worse due to the "couple" of notes the Bm increased his meds. What mom would let a teacher decide that without looking at all other options.


MammaPaparazza
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:43 PM
I have that problem too...teacher tells me to make sure my ds gets plenty of rest at home because sometimes he will start to doz off. i told her thanks for concern he gets plenty I rest..its the medication you insist he takes, and when he isn't sleepy you ask if he took it today...kindly just wake him up.

I saw no its none of her concern, what can she change if he did or didn't take it? I think thats their backhanded way of saying our kids were disruptive without coming out and saying it
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mwade4
by on May. 14, 2012 at 7:47 PM
My ds's teacher had the nerve to ask me to put my child on meds. He is 6. I told her txs but not an option at the time. I even had my sons doctor write a note that stated a professional will decide. Uurrgg I'm so mad right now! Txs for responding
mwade4
by on May. 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM
Quoting lruggio:

well, I have had to work with my son's teachers regarding medication.  ADHD medication is just a tool...but not a perfect one...some days are better than others...and I needed my son's teachers to be my eyes and communicate with me frequently if we were going to find success.  I appreciated the teachers who took the interest in my son and stayed on top of his behavior and actions..When I received the frequent input from teachers, I coiuld assess our situation better.  If I had to do things differently at home, if I had to speak to the doctor about switching or upping or lowering the dosage.  When one medication works OK for a time, it could all of a sudden not be working as well any more, for whatever reason, and I found that happened .

Now, it was a night and day thing for my son, when he missed his morning pill.  He suffered and the class suffered.  some days, I did not get a bad report if my son missed his pill, but generally speaking, that was rare.  

you all have to figure out who will be getting the medication from this point forward...if the mom is not getting it, perhaps its time to discuss Dad being responsible for it.  the adults need to huddle up and make a plan on how best to care for this kid with ADHD...I had to do this in my family with my son's father and his girlfriend...we all worked together as a team for the best outcome for my son




I agree on team effort but to read a note from a teacher that days when he takes it he has a great day. That is a bunch of bs!!!!! This child has had bad day while on it and good days too. But like you said some days are a hit or miss. I appreciate her looking out for him but this child was borderline ADHD. The only reason why the mom informed the school was to get him in the IEP Prg. Which has helped but I feel like they think the meds is a fix not a tool. Perfect way to put it thank you. However dad can't just step in on the medical side bc the order has her for final decision. Dad has dental and extra curricular. So unless we want to spend thousands of dollars to change it - it's out of his hands. We told the mom that the meds did not make it to our house. We had to send notice thru our atty bc her phone vm box is always full and he can't txt either. She has blocked all communication. That is a whole separate situation!! But your probably right maybe the meds stopped working bit at what point do u say enough situation is what it is and other methods must be put in place. He doesn't disrupt class it's just his confidence level is low and needs that extra interaction.
MeggieLee22
by on May. 15, 2012 at 10:11 AM
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If the teachers know he is on meds, I could see why they would be asking.  As to the mom changing the meds based on what the teachers say that makes total sense IMO.  The teachers have the kids for like 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week.  School is the area where ADD/ADHD kids need the extra help the most.  Put those two together and I would definitely take the teacher's input if I were medicating my child.  Children do develop somewhat of an 'immunity' to the meds after a while sometimes and the dose needs to be changed.  It is a trial and error process.

What kind of allowances are made for him on his IEP?  They should have things in place to deal with most of this with or without medication.  Our DD gets help from the aide when needed.  She sits at the front of the class so teacher can redirect her.  She has a wiggle cushion for class and a small lunch group.  She cannot deal with all the noise and distraction of the cafeteria....she ends up not eating.

Even if he is not disrupting the class...and the problem is lack of focus, 15 minutes is a long time to write something down.  The teacher has to spend an extra 10 minutes or so getting him to write down his assignment instead of moving on, which does affect the class as a whole, especially if he is 'dragging his feet' all day.  My DD is a daydreamer and she does this all day....she'll often stop what she's doing and just stare off into space...thus the teachers aide to redirect her without stopping the whole class.

If the school will not talk about it with you, they should at least with his dad.  He needs to tell them that even with the medication there may be discrepencies and that is what the IEP plan is for.  If his mother wants to keep medicating she needs to understand that she has to be consistent with it.  If she cannot remember to get it to you, maybe the school could hold it and he could take it there in the mornings?

GraceHudson
by on May. 15, 2012 at 10:13 AM
bump


specialwingz
by on May. 15, 2012 at 10:30 AM

My twin boys (now 19) have Accute Genetic ADHD.  I depended on those teachers' reports.  Those reports were great indicators as to when their meds needed to be tweaked.  I think the teacher simply asked if he had taken his meds so she could get an accurate read on his behaviour for that day.

Instead of seeing her questions as negative, use what she asks as a way to read your SS's behaviour while he's away from you.  His teacher(s) are the ones who have him for a great portion of the day.  They are full of good information, even if it is negative behaviour, as to how well he is or isn't doing in school.

Instead of being defensive about it, be proactive.  Use it to make things more stable for your SS.  You can also have an injunction set in place that the BM is required to split the monthly meds with you according to how many days per month he will be staying with you.

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