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HELP having a debate with hunny need input now. PLEASE!!!!!( UPDATE)

Posted by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:33 PM
  • 35 Replies

How much time do you spend as a family on a day to day basis. 

What do you ground over

What is the expectation of bedrooms in your house. 

OKAY so my oldest 2 that are 9 and soon to be 6 broke landscaping rocks in are yard and spread them all over our yard that we rent mind you and that might not have been such a huge deal BUT they have gotten in trouble for destroying things in the past.  So they were ground to their room for a week no outside and no TV. But in that week they repeatly got in trouble would get off the bed Caught them jumping on beds swinging in closet from bar. wreastling.. OH and my 9 year old will pull every trick in the book to get off her bed AFTER I tell her do NOT get off your bed for any reason what so ever she will get off minutes after me telling her that and ask do you want me to mop the floor ? Do you want me to hold the baby. ITS none stop. But after a weekend in a half of this I feel bad I know stupid and my hunny is mad because he thinks they should be grounded till they can go without getting in trouble for 2 days straight. I think they are too small to be grounded for weeks. 

Than there is also the fact we are not spending much family time together at all so I feel bad thinking they are actting out because they aren't getting time as a family. 

And their room he wants their room cleaned everyday and I think its really not a big deal I just am really wondering what everyone else does. I have a 9 year old a 6 year old a 3 year old and 2 years old and 5 months. 

by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:33 PM
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by Member on May. 21, 2012 at 7:36 PM

Generally 3-4 hours as a whole family on weekdays and 10-12 on weekends.

My oldest is 6 and we haven't had reason to ground him yet.   It would have to be pretty serious, though.

I expect to be able to walk in my boys bedroom to put their clouthes away and tuck them in.   Beyond that, it's up to them.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Most days 1-2hrs due to work schedules

We ground over bad grades mostly but it is on a case by case basis.

Bedrooms have to be picked up each night before bed and then CLEANED each weekend!
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by Ruby Member on May. 21, 2012 at 7:45 PM

 We eat dinner together most nights- Mondays are the exception during the school yr when ds1 has Boy Scouts, and the first Wed. of the month during that time when dd has Girl Scouts. During camping season, we spend time together on trips- sometimes just long weekends, sometimes longer. Last summer, between a funeral out of state and a planned 2 wk camping vacation, we spent 3 wks having togetherness traveling, sight-seeing, and hanging out in a camper; the kids got along great for the majority of that time : )

Grounding depends on which kid it is. Ds1 gets grounded for failing grades. Dd gets grounded for going over to friends' houses in the neighborhood w/o asking first. Haven't had to ground ds2 yet- he does great in school, asks before taking off to go somewhere, and hasn't done anything else that might be grounding-worthy.

I'll admit, I'm a lot more lax on what I expect in terms of their rooms. All I ask for is a clear path from the door to the bed, and from the door and bed to the window. Every once in a while, we make them do a more thorough straightening up so I can vacuum the whole floor and not just the "pathways". One rule we do have is that they are never allowed to have food in their rm- they can have a water bottle to drink out of during the night, but that's it for anything edible.





by on May. 21, 2012 at 7:56 PM

I can't help too much, both SO and I work from home so we are together most of the day. as far as bedrooms go, SD is 6 and she is only with us on weekends so she doesn't really have too much time to mess up the room that much, but she is required to put things back in their place, and I've told her as of her last visit that from now on if I find her toys, crayons, coloring books, etc. on the floor again they are going in the trash or to goodwill and we're not buying more. We don't make her clean the whole house, but she is old enough to pick up her own things and put them where they belong. DS is only 14 months old so that isn't an issue yet, but we do try to show him putting things up when he's finished with them. As far as grounded goes, we're really not that strict. obviously discipline for major things for SD are up to SO and her mother, and DS is a too young for being grounded.

by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:02 PM

My Husband is Self employed and works from home so he is always here and so when the kids are home we are together just about everyday and we always have dinner together. So not sure how to count up the hours

I ground when they do no do what they are told or Do something they know not to do etc..... mostly they get grounded for not listening.  Oh and having bad additude It works better then time out since mine are aged 8,6, and 4.They get grounded from outside, computers, wii and TV.

I think I spoil my kids when it comes to thier bedrooms but I give them a cleaning on Monday and Friday's throwing out loose papers and straightening their desks and closets but the other days I expect them to keep them cleaned! Doesn't work out very well though.. maybe I should start grounding for that too

by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:10 PM

We spend around 2 real hours together doing school week per day. Weekends it just depends on schedules. During the summer a lot.

I ground over lying

Your room you keep it clean

by on May. 21, 2012 at 10:26 PM
As a family during the summer months 10 minutes a day plus all day Sunday. He gets home in time to put them in bed. Winter 24/7.

All different things. Bad behavior in school, lying,Ect.

Bedrooms have to be cleaned by Friday. That's the day I vacuum and dust in there. Anything that's not picked up goes in a trash bag untill next Friday.
The rest of the week I don't care, It's their room and I can close the door if I don't want to look at it. My children put away their own cloths, and are responsible for putting the dirty ones in a hamper.
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by Gold Member on May. 22, 2012 at 1:42 AM
Whole family together? 1 hour per day. Weekends more. Me? 8 hours. Lol.

We do not ground yet, we do discipline...

Rooms are to be cleaned daily (there are exceptions to the rule) but I learned that my kids get overwhelmed if they do not...
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by on May. 22, 2012 at 6:07 AM

Daily basis is hard - it may only be a few hours (especially if I have a meeting or DH has a late day at the office)

We have never had to ground

Bedrooms - - cleaned once per week, top to bottom

by on May. 22, 2012 at 2:32 PM


Quoting nicoal4:

How much time do you spend as a family on a day to day basis. 

Only an hour or two- we are self employed and my dh works long hours.  He sees the kids first thing in the mornign and at nite before bed.  I am blessed to only work when the kids are in school. 

What do you ground over

Depends on the age and offense - My 8 yr old left the yard without telling my MIL.  I came home and couldnt find him (his 5 yr old brother was home).  Took me 1/2 hr and I almost beat him on the spot (I dont hit my kids....).  He was grounded for a week. 

What is the expectation of bedrooms in your house. 

Tidy.  Not Better Homes and Gardens.  My DS1 is a lego maniac -part of his Asperger's .  So he is constantly in some lego project.  So I let it go.  They deserve some space of their own. 




I'm not crazy....I have two boys.....roflmbo....

I love my Sensational DS1 and my Boysterous DS2...both born preemie, full term breastfed, until they self weaned.  I am a Lactivist, a CubScout Den Leader, Self employed, and still take the time to be my Children's Attachment Parenting Mom and my DH's Girlfriend.  My DH is my best friend. :)

Medications and Mother's Milk Group - Group Owner

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