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Elementary School Kids Elementary School Kids

S/O... How can you call it a clique if you don't try to join?

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:03 PM
  • 38 Replies
2 moms liked this

The post about not fitting in got me to thinking, 

If you don't try to talk to others, if you just assume you know what they are thinking about you (assuming that they are thinking about you at all), how do you know it's a clique? 

IMO, a clique is a group that won't let certain people in their group, but if you don't try to join in the group then you can't call it a clique, can you? 

 




Cindy

by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steelcrazy
by Emerald Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:30 PM
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I think that it may be due to the group of women knowing each other and seeming like an inpenitratable force to someone new.  I'm not really sure though because I've been accused of being part of a clique before and am confused by it since I am very friendly and try to never exclude anyone.

chinosruca
by Gold Member on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:41 PM
I have never wanted or needed to "fit in". I've never felt left out or unable to make friends. There are groups of women who I would never be friends with, but it doesn't bother me.

I am very selective & somewhat snobbish when befriending people. I get along with just about anyone, but call VERY FEW people "friend".
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
marymo2011
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 10:48 PM
I am the type of person who will befriend anyone whom i can visibly tell takes good care of their children as I feel I do. I take my daughter to many different extracurricular activities and I have encountered many women in groups whom will not even return a smile as if their sh*^ don't stink. I don't like those women. It eats me up!!! Why bother!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sunflowers12
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 11:24 PM
Not sure if she has tried or not... Maybe she can tell by simply looking in as an outsider.. not only that if this is all new to her its quite easy to become overwhelmed n just not real sure where you fit in... I get what she is saying...

Everyone reacts a bit different to situations like this just try encourageing one another can help
:)
Kris_PBG
by on Jun. 9, 2012 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cindy18
by Cruella on Jun. 10, 2012 at 6:17 AM

I get what the other poster was saying too but some of the replies got me thinking. One in particular said something about it's just like high school but admitted that they also are shy.

If you are shy and just look in from the outside, how do you "can you tell by simply looking in as an outsider"? That's just about as bad as what you are accusing the "clique" of (judging you and not knowing you), isn't it?

Quoting sunflowers12:

Not sure if she has tried or not... Maybe she can tell by simply looking in as an outsider.. not only that if this is all new to her its quite easy to become overwhelmed n just not real sure where you fit in... I get what she is saying...

Everyone reacts a bit different to situations like this just try encourageing one another can help
:)


Cindy18
by Cruella on Jun. 10, 2012 at 6:21 AM

Maybe they are very shy, maybe they have a lot on their mind, maybe they are very sad about something at the moment, you just don't know what is going on. Yet, you assume that they are shunning you. Why let it get to you? 

Quoting marymo2011:

I am the type of person who will befriend anyone whom i can visibly tell takes good care of their children as I feel I do. I take my daughter to many different extracurricular activities and I have encountered many women in groups whom will not even return a smile as if their sh*^ don't stink. I don't like those women. It eats me up!!! Why bother!


 




Cindy

Chymerra
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 7:44 AM

Exactly this. Plus, if someone I don't like (IRL or online) is around and talking to said group.....I don't even try.

Quoting chinosruca:

I have never wanted or needed to "fit in". I've never felt left out or unable to make friends. There are groups of women who I would never be friends with, but it doesn't bother me.

I am very selective & somewhat snobbish when befriending people. I get along with just about anyone, but call VERY FEW people "friend".


auroragold
by on Jun. 10, 2012 at 7:52 AM
2 moms liked this

I personally HATE the word "clique" and think that it has been misused completely.

mjande4
by Platinum Member on Jun. 10, 2012 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

When topics like this come up, I tend to shake my head.  It seems that some women are still living their lives like they are in high school.  I don't really think of groups of people that are friends/hang out as cliques.  I think of them as people who want to spend time together and may or may not want others to join.  Not everyone is friends or should be expected to be.  JUST because your kids go to school together does NOT mean you have a darn thing in common EXCEPT the fact that you have a kid at the school like the 700 other moms.  I just have never understood the need to fit in.  I have a lot of friends and very few of them have anything to do with my kids. By this, I mean our friendships were established LONG before kids came into the picture.  I do hang out with parents from my boys' basketball team, but again we have know each other for years.  Insecure women/moms are not people that I would personally want to hang out with or be friends. 

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