How to Handle Kids Who Don't Handle Losing Well
Last night, I had family game night with my siblings at my house. We have just recently lost our mother and this is what we do in honor of her because she loved family game nights.
Anyway, usually, the adults engage in games such as Farkle or Monopoloy Deal, and the kids play the Wii or engage in other fun kid activities. Sometimes, everyone gets involved in Guesstures or Pictionary. In between games, we snack and converse.
Well, we were just getting ready to play another game of Monopoly Deal when my ten-year-old daughter came up the stairs crying and covering her cheek, "Nephew's Name) punched me!" I know that my daughter and her cousins often fight over various things, but it had never gotten physical before. My sister scolded her son and made him apologize to my daughter as well as me. I, of course, wanted to be sure my daughter hadn't antagonized him in any way, so I asked my other daughters what had happended (by the way, the kids were all downstairs with my 18-year-old daughter, so it's not like they weren't being supervised).
Turns out, my daugheter and nephew were bowling on a Wii game. Nephew says to my daughter, "You suck at bowling." To which my daughter replied, "You suck at bowling." Well, he was losing to her, and out of the blue, he hauled off and punched her in the cheek. I don't mean hit or slap--he PUNCHED her, like you would see in a fight scene in a movie! Thankfully, she was okay, and this morning, she is fine with no visible signs of a black and blue cheek.
I know my nephew competes in wrestling, and now that the wrestling season is over for him, he seems to think he can take his wrestling out on others (he was caught kicking his sister on the trampoline earlier). I should mention that he is five and will turn six in July. My sister told me that he is a very sore loser. He cried and whined a lot last night when he didn't get his way, and when she put him in time out, he cried and whined the entire time. When she made him sit in a chair as a punishment, he kept crying, "I miss my daddy." Yes, he is a daddy's boy, and I am angry with my brother-in-law for enabling his son to fight outside the ring. Years ago, nephew head-butted his sister out of the blue for no reason as we were getting ready for a family photo shoot at Easter.
Anyway, my sister and I both have strong-willed children. I admit, my ten-year-old is no saint herself. She, too, is a sore loser. She just doesn't go around punching people when she loses.
Do you have a child who is a sore loser and what do/did you do to channel that anger somewhere else? Advice welcome. Sometimes parents don't like to be told their kids have something wrong with them. My sister is one of those parents. Thanks.